Re: download hindi songs free abhi jeet

Posted by kutub on Tue, 10/26/04 - 13:52:35.

: : : : : : : i want to download free hindi songs.

: : i wanna 2 download free abhi jeet song's of yaad karne se

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Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

What's the second-least used sentence in the English language? "I respect the bass player for his mind."

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

There are three kinds of bass players; Ones who can count, and ones who can't count.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Two Bass player's were convicted of some treasonable offense and sentenced to death.According to the usual custom they were each offered one last wish. The first man, who was a country and western artist, said that he would like just one more time to hear "ACHY-BREAKY HEART." The second man, who was a jazz musician, when asked for his last request simply asked that he be put to death BEFORE they granted the first man's request.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Q: How do you tell if the stage is level?

A: If the bassist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

How many bassist does it take to screw in a light bulb?
To know the answer, you need know two things:
1/ How big is the bulb.
2/ How do you get them in the bulb.

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb. Just one but the guitar player has to show him how to do it.

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

A bass player and a guitar player had been adrift in a life boat for days, when a lamp floated up against the boat. the bass player picked it out of the water and thinking they had nothing to lose gave it a rub. Out came a genie and proclaimed I am the genie from the lamp and will grant you one wish. The bass player shouted out, I wish the whole ocean was beer. Poof the genie was gone and the ocean was indeed made out of beer. The bass player turned to the guitar player and says this is great. Which the guitar player says " you idiot now we're going to have to piss in the boat.

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

First. I ain't so good in English so forgive me any mistake I made.

Once upon a time a man came to a medical store holding a cat.
An assistant: "Good afternoon. What will you have?"
The man: "Hi. Do you sell syringes?" (i mean a hypodermic by a syringe, if it isn't used in the USA)
The assistant: "Yes, of course."
The man: "I'll take one. And do you sell gasoline?"
The assistant: "Just a medical one."
The man: "That will do. Give me a package."
Then the man took the syringe and sucked a large dose of gasoline into it.
The assistant: "Hey. What the hell are you going to do with that?"
The man: "Shut up, man!"
Then he took the cat and gave it a full dose of gasoline. It had been running and jumping
'round the store for a short time then it fell dead to the floor.
The assistant: "The hell! Don't you see? You killed it!"
The man: "Oh! It must have run out of fuel!"

Well, that's all. I guess English people won't understand this as a joke. I'm from The Czech Republic ( central Europe, slavic country ).

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

When Ayrton Senna (Formula 1 driver) died he came to St. Peter and
said:"I'm Senna and when I was alive a drived 300 and more km/h"
St. Peter allowed him to enter but there is just one rule on heven nobody
can drive in there above 60 km/h.... Senna said: "OK, if everybody drives
like that I can to."
Next day he drivin 55-60 km/h when dragster pass by him at speed
300-350 km/h so he even couldn't see the who's driving or cars plates
Next day he came to St. Peter and asked him: "How this driver can
drive so fast and I must drive max 60 km/h"
St. Peter just said: "That is Son of the Boss."

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and the other to complain that the bulb doesn't have enough eq added to it.

Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Bass Players Vasectomy

A bass player walks into a clinic and tells the doctor he wants a vasectomy, so the doctor tells him "Put a fire cracker in a can, light it and count to ten". He laughs and tells him he's serious, and says "so am I, that's how you do it". Furious, he goes for a second opinion. The second doctor tells him "Just put a fire cracker in a can, light it and count to ten". Thinking it's a joke between the two doctors, he goes to yet another clinic and gets the same reply. By now he decides that three doctors can't be wrong, so he gets a fire cracker, puts in in an empty can, lights it and starts counting with his fingers "one two three four five" (puts the can between his legs) "six seven eight nine te... BANG !!!!!!@$!#%" Bass players vasectomy :)

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Who's the guy that just hangs out with Van Halen... There bass player.

Citation for Bass Player Crimes against Nature Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

NAME OF OFFENDER (Bass Player)_______________________

INFRACTION DATE___________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES

[ ] Playing loudly during warm up $10

[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25

[ ] Loud cursing after mistake $10

[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20

[ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20

[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25

[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50

[ ] Playing written-out walking line $50

[ ] Failure to play written walking line $75

[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50

[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50

[ ] Playing eighth notes $5 each

[ ] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each

[ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal

[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75

[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100

[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200

[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100

[ ] Following drummer's tempo $250

[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS

[ ] Showing up before first downbeat $25

[ ] Playing audibly $25

[ ] Faking changes $25

[ ] Slapping $150

[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25

[ ] Excessive sweating $25

[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50

[ ] Asking leader for a solo $30

[ ] Accepting solo when offerred $50

[ ] Taking second chorus $100

[ ] Playing solo arco $400

[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100

[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200

[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS

[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15

[ ] Experimenting with odd meters $25

[ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25

[ ] Playing with a pick $50

[ ] Tuning during ballad $30

[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75

[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150

[ ] Attempting last word on final chord $50

[ ] Achieving last word on final chord $100

[ ] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC

[ ] Forgetting strap $10

[ ] Changing strings after every set $15

[ ] Using electric tuner $15

[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75

[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40

[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50

[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25

[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4

[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass

[ ] Skull decals on bass $150

[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE

[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10

[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10

[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10

[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25

[ ] Practicing scales during break $25

[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50

[ ] Practicing $150

[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50

[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $100

BASIC STUPIDITY

[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10

[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20

[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20

[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25

[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25

[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50

[ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's $100

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: what would you be if you weren't a musician.............a bass player

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

:i don't know any bass jokes, and i probably can't
make you guys laugh, but please make them stop! make the jokes stop!
you can give me the bass and i'll jam with it and take
real good care of it.
later
rickindickinchickin
Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in his car?

Q: Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in his car?

A: It took him an hour to get the drummer out!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane
International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth
$499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all
your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple
as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at
BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the
world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke!
But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact
you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Q: How Does a bass player get away with parking in a handicapped spot??
A: He leaves his used strings on the dash board !!

Q: why do bass players seem to always speed up their tempo during a song ?
A: because they're always in a hurry, that's why they play bass !!
Q: What does a bass player do to his asshole before he goes to work?
A: He gives him some money for a new set of guitar strings !!
Q: why don't bass players get any respect?
A: Because they can't play guitar!!
Q: Why do bass players make better lovers ?
A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Q: How Does a bass player get away with parking in a
handicapped spot??
A: He leaves his used strings on the dash board !!

Q: why do bass players seem to always speed up their
tempo during a song ?

A: because they're always in a hurry, that's why they
play bass !!

Q: What does a bass player do to his asshole before he
goes to work?

A: He gives him some money for a new set of guitar
strings !!

Q: why don't bass players get any respect?

A: Because they can't play guitar!!

Q: Why do bass players make better lovers ?

A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Q: Why do bass players make better lovers ?
:
: A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !!

"And we like to go down low!!"

The bass player joke !!!!!

Q; What do you get when you cross a bass player with a guitar player ?? (multiple choice)

A: a music teacher ?

B: Malcolm Young ?

C: Someone who thinks he knows it all ?

D: A bassist who plays like a guitarist ??

The correct answer is "D"

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

A guitar player and a bass player were out on the ocean in a rowboat fishing. The guitar player saw a lamp float by his side of the boat so he thought what the hell. So he picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, sorry but Im only an apprentice genie so I can grant you only one wish. The guitar player thought for a moment and then made his wish- I want this whole ocean turned into beer. Poof, it was done. The bass player was watching all this go on and finally said to the guitar player, That was dumb-now we'll have to piss in the boat .

!

!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Ya know how many bass players it takes to skrew in a light bulb?
none the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

A drummer goes on vacation to a remote island. Its tranquill and nice and there are native drums beating
off in the distance. Being a drummer, he can appreciate the native rhytyms and enjoys them to a point, but
finds that they continue to go on for days. He asks a native why they continue to beat the drums and the only
reply he gets is "Drums must not stop --- very bad if they stop".

After three days of continuous drumming and asking the native why, and getting the same response "drums must not stop, very bad"
He finally gets fed up and demands an answer "Look, what can be so bad if those drums stop, its driving me nuts with those drums going all day
and night" The native replies "Drums must not stop -- very bad"

"Look what is so bad?" the drummer asks. "What happens if they stop?'

The native replies "Bass solo begins"

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Man dies and joins the que to heaven. There are two people in front of him. He listens as St Peter talks to the first of them.
"Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks.
"I lived a good life and earned $120.000 a year." the man replied.
"enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate.
"Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks the woman.
"I..ahhh," she stumbles, then, following the trend set by the first man, continues " I lived a good life and my income was $60,000 a year."
"enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate.
Our man is a little perplexed at what he's heard, but before he can think of anything St Peter asks "Why should you be admitted to heaven?"
"Dunno" he replies, "I sorta lived a kinda good life but....well, I only earned two or three thousand dollars a year" he concluded, looking nervously at his feet.
"Oh" said St.Pete, "and what type of base did you prefer to play?"

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Man dies and joins the que to heaven. There are two people in front of him. He listens as St Peter talks to the first of them.
"Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks.
"I lived a good life and earned $120.000 a year." the man replied.
"enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate.
"Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks the woman.
"I..ahhh," she stumbles, then, following the trend set by the first man, continues " I lived a good life and my income was $60,000 a year."
"enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate.
Our man is a little perplexed at what he's heard, but before he can think of anything St Peter asks "Why should you be admitted to heaven?"
"Dunno" he replies, "I sorta lived a kinda good life but....well, I only earned two or three thousand dollars a year" he concluded, looking nervously at his feet.
"Oh" said St.Pete, "and what type of bass did you prefer to play?"

bass player joke

A tour manager comes across a guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the stage before a big show. He pulls them apart and asks what the
problem is.

"That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass",
says the bass player. "And we're on stage in five minutes."

"So what's the problem?", asks the tour manager.

"He won't tell me which string he detuned", said the Bassist.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

I live in L.A. My bass player the other day asked me what time it was in San Francisco. Not much of a punchline, but I thought it was pretty damn funny.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Q.What do you call a guy that hangs around with a band
A. A bass player

My bass joke

I know this prolly wont even get read but...

Q: why did god invent bassists??
A: coz drummers had no talent..
Q: why did god invent gutiarists??
A: coz bassists didnt either!!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Q: What's the difference between a bass and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.
Q: Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
A: Even a virus has some pride.
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand.
Q: What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
A: "Pizza!"

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

My bass player joke

1.What did the Bass player get on his IQ test?
Drool.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

How do you get a band with 2 basists to sound good?

Shoot one!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.
The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.

The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."

The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"

The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"

The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

What's the difference between a shy and an outgoing bass guitar?
One is fretless.

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

How do you know if a bass player can play the guitar?
Whether or not he uses a pick

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

Where's the best place to find a bass player to complete your band?
just about anywhere, anyone can play a bass!!!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze?
A : You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job?
A : Would you like fries with that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How can you make a bass player slow down?
A : Put a sheet of music infront of him.
Q : How do you get him to stop?
A : Put notes on it!!
Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on.
"Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings.
"So what is the problem?", replies the singer.
"He won't tell me which one it was".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea.
"**** it", says the bass player, "let's play in four!"
Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
A : Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze?
A : You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job?
A : Would you like fries with that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How can you make a bass player slow down?
A : Put a sheet of music infront of him.
Q : How do you get him to stop?
A : Put notes on it!!
Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on.
"Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings.
"So what is the problem?", replies the singer.
"He won't tell me which one it was".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea.
"**** it", says the bass player, "let's play in four!"
Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
A : Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze?
A : You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job?
A : Would you like fries with that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How can you make a bass player slow down?
A : Put a sheet of music infront of him.
Q : How do you get him to stop?
A : Put notes on it!!
Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on.
"Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings.
"So what is the problem?", replies the singer.
"He won't tell me which one it was".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea.
"**** it", says the bass player, "let's play in four!"
Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
A : Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

: Hey yall,

: We've got a great contest going at the moment.

: GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by
: giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499!

: AND ENTERING IS EASY!

: Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it's as simple as that!

: We'll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best
: crowd response, you win the Ibanez!

: This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions.
: So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid
: email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win.

: Cheers
: The GuitarMaster

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

A double bass player arrived a few minutes late for the first rehersal of the local choral society's annual performance of Handel messiah.He picked up his insturment and bow,and turned his attention to the conductor,The conductor asked,"Would you like a moment to tune?" The bass player replyed "Why?isn't it the same as last year?"

Re: TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS!

What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.
Both suck when you plug them in.

HERES A GOOD ONE

What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.
Both suck when you plug them in.

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