Wife is ruining our band! Again!

I posted ages back about how my wife was angry with me because I had joined a band with a midget couple. I took on your advice and discussed it with her and all went well, she layed off me for a while, under the condition she could take on some kind of roll in the band.

I broke and let her become a sort of a quasi manager. She got us a few gigs and we all appreciated it. However, now things are getting a little awkward.

She is trying to get us to leave our roots of heavy rock and metal behind and completely change our set to a lighter, more contemporary mix mash of 80s Bryan Adams sort of stuff, which is neither mine or my bandmates cup of tea.

She says it will get us more gigs around our area and with that I agree. But as I've been trying to drum into her with little success, it isnt about the gigs to us, we just do them for fun.

Which leads me to believe she still has a mega issue with the fact 2 midgets and I can fill a room. Only last week she went off at me because the band appeared in the local news (read by all of 3 people) and said it made HER look like a fool around town because the picture had me dressed as a three headed dragon with my bandmates on my shoulders. It was all for publicity because we played for sick kids on Halloween.

She bitches on and on and I think I've created a monster, even worse then when she wasn't involved with the band.

Have any of you had wife issues like this when it comes to your band? Shes driving me up the wall and I know she is going to take it personally if I tell her off. :twisted:

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Welcome back, Farino and sorry you've still got the probs. To be fair to Mrs Farino (and I always like to be fair to the Mrs), papers can be mischievous - maybe some of the journos did have a laugh behind your back but if it didn't bother you or your bandmates then it should be left at that. I don't really see why she wants to manage the band if the members freak her out so much.

As for the Bryan Adams thing; you're right. It might be more popular, but there are a ton of bands doing that stuff. If you don't even like playing that guff (and I certainly wouldn't) you will just be lousier than the bands that do enjoy it. Rule #1 is to play what you like playing.

Finally, after lots of nagging, I gave in and gave my wife a driving lesson. I only did it once; it was exactly as bad as I knew it would be. She did not like the idea that this was a subject that I knew more about than her and she would have to take instructions from me. I left it to an instructor.

Similarly with bands and management. A band will disagree with a manager, call him/her a tosspot then have a laugh about it a week later. It's allowed; part of the relationship. It's a lot different if it's the wife (Ozzy tried to strangle his wife/manager). Tactfully try to point out that either you can argue about this without it souring the relationship, or else you don't want the marriage ruined by arguments over whether to do an '80s night or not.

Tricky one, though. Any other ops?

3 words: Grow some balls.

:shock: , hardman Mike - typical Australian :lol: . The prob for married men of the Northern Hemisphere (like me) is that it's very difficult to grow larger balls when they are clenched so tightly. Chip her varnish and you might as well kiss 'em goodbye.

(I suppose, if one could kiss 'em, it might negate the need for the Mrs, but that's so waaay off-topic it has "do not go there" written all over it). Where is the "edit/delete" button; I think I need it :)

:lol: I want to know what the 2 little folks think of her. Why don't they tell her to get lost. This woman is obviously just jealous you and the midgets are a hit. She probably had dreams of being a rock star herself and now that you and your band are giving it a go, she wants you to take her on as the lead singer or triangle player. Being a supportive fan sounds just toooo much for her.

Farino wrote:
She is trying to get us to leave our roots of heavy rock and metal behind and completely change our set to a lighter, more contemporary mix mash of 80s Bryan Adams sort of stuff, which is neither mine or my bandmates cup of tea.

She says it will get us more gigs around our area and with that I agree. But as I've been trying to drum into her with little success, it isnt about the gigs to us, we just do them for fun.

Totally agree, whats the point in getting more gigs in your local area? The way I see it it's better to succeed or fail doing what you want to do than doing whats popular with the locals, and like 1BL says if you don't like what you're playing you'll be lack-lustre at best, if none of the band like it, you really will suck, an audience can always tell if you like what you're doing...they're scary like that.

Hard as it sounds I got to the point where I said "I've got a gig on x-date, do you fancy coming along" if she did, cool, if she didn't I went on my own...don't expect anything from her but don't back down either, just my opinion but it's served me 6 years so far.

Tim.

I feel a song coming on!!!!!.........yes!!aaaahhh its my favourite all time song!!!!>>>>>>>> " BETH ".

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