My worst onstage nightmare - what's yours?

I had a nightmare last night. I placed my bling encrusted G7th capo at fret 7 to perform Here Comes The Sun on my prized guitar in the first set of a gig. To my horror the clutch mechanism on the capo seized up and I could not get it off and I had no spare guitar. I had to sing and play the rest of the gig at fret 7!?:( It's back to my old fashioned mickey mouse strap capo for me. KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. I'll go back to sleep now, maybe it will all seem okay in the morning. ZZZzzz
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Honda Cl350

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Nice one, you had some serious on the spot transposing to do in that set, how on earth did you get the right keys for your voice?

Might have told this story before?..

My biggest ever gig was also only my 4th ever. We were 4th on the bill to Marillion at an outdoor festival, they reckon there was 3000 there by the time we played. Being a newbie I didn't like the attention of sound-checking and okayed it as it was.
First song, played through it, played the outro, stood back satisfied. Noticed everyone else was still playing. I finally realised we'd only actually reached the middle 8, however, I couldn't hear anything through my monitor and had to stand there on the main stage in front of all those people through an entire verse and come in on the next chorus. Believe me, that seemed like the longest verse in the history of music!

I think I've posted my previous worst exp before, Bob, so I'll keep it brief. For starters, an MC introduced us while the guitarists were still tuning and fiddling about, so the audience cheered and clapped then stood there while nothing happened for several minutes. Once we got going, I didn't realize that my cable had an extremely heavy mike-stand (the type with the dome base made of solid lead) placed on it. At one point, I jumped up in the air and kicked my leg out and got ready to whack the note. Butkus. I looked down and the 4" of free play in my lead resulted in the jack snapping the P-type scratchplate and a socket, a pot and a few wires were dangling out of the bass.

I also had no backup so I ran backstage and asked if I could borrow the bass from the next band. As I got back on stage, the soundman had noticed the no bass but never thought to look if I was still there. He wandered around in the dark and kicked out the extension lead to both guitar amps. I returned just as the drummer started an impromptu solo and plugged in. Being a lefty, I knew I was going to have to do the rest of the set upside down, but there was something a bit odd besides that. When the guitars came back in, I realized that the other player tuned DADG. No time to adjust, so I played a none-too-easy song on upside-down strings with a move up two frets each time I went to the bottom string. Hellish.

Iwas doin a gig in George Town Grand Cayman, There was to be a Band there to back me up!! I was to arrive ,on Cayman airways at 10am and have time to go over my material with da band for that night. Iam fearful of planes and must take xanex to fly, So I left Jackson Mississippi 1 xanex, at Atlanta 1 xanex, at Miami 1 xanex, air cayman had to return to airport, another xanex,had to wait till 5pm for late flight, yet another xanex, arrived at George town 7pm was met by a driver and went straight to da show,I was stoned outta my head,no time to go over my materials,the band was startin to play when I arrived,I let them play 2 sets,I set at the bar and da gin and tonic seemed to wake me up, They introduced 601 BLUES, I walked out on stage, Told the band 12 bar in D Did 1 tune and the band was playin 8 bar,PISSED me off and I told them to get off tha stage got me a stool, and did the gig alone and got a standin ovation,and enchore,Iwas glad that was over it musta been da xanex cause Ive never done dat,when I walk off the stage to da bar a table full of guys said they wanted to buy me a drink!! Isat down and we started talkin music, One asked who is my Fav Guitar Player ,Alvin Lee I said, One asked if I ever heard Elvin Bishop, Sure have I said ,and he ani't worth crap he sucks ,with his Chickin Pickin style and I went on and on in my xanex dream ramblin about Elvin, when the waiter asked if I wanted another drink, And How about you MR. BISHOP!!! holy crap I acted like I didn't hear said I was goin to da boys rm, and left!

Nice one 601, very funny story. What does xanex mean? prob a stupid question.

Bass, you are as always the true pro, did you tune it to E after the 1st song?
Moral of the story? always carry an extra guitar.

Ive told my worse one before, i had joined an original music band, had been with them a couple of weeks and we had a big gig booked for a large hall, it was an all day event and we was on at 9.15pm just before the main act.
I played most of the rythym and Kev did most of the solo work.
2 hrs before the gig, i get a call from Paul the drummer, Kev has flu cant do the gig, can you learn all the solos?
Umm, so i had time to go throught the songs once and thought i could wing it, so we go for it.
We get there and another band was on stage, as they came off i could see the place was packed with Goth teenagers, the crew get our gear on stage and when i see the amount of people i start to 'Brick' it a little.
Anyway, we get going, and first song goes well, 2nd one is ok, and the 3rd which is very difficult goes well until all the lights go out!
the main lighting rig fuse to the stage and hall blows, i cant see a thing, the other 2 in the band play on eyes closed but im struggling to see the neck, i angle the guitar towards the green emergency exit sign,
and i can just make out the glint on the frets.
Then a strobe light kicks in right in front of my eyes, flashing and blinding me, the resulting playing was not very good.
I was looking for the hole in the stage to open up.
Lights came back on in the middle of the 4th song, but by that time all dignity had been lost.
Kevs not turning up for the gig becasue of flu, was actualy a ploy,
it was his very nice leaving card to us.
In my book, totaly unprofessional and unforgivable.

xanex is a seditive, to calm you down,and it works quite well thats the only way I can fly, how ever your in lala land for several hours after ward

601, that's a :shock: occasion. I'm so glad that didn't happen to me; I would've re-lived it for the rest of my natural. It was extremely funny to read, though - must be a thread winner.

On a general note; NEVER accept a last-minute "the other band can't make it" gig. I've done this a few times. You arrive in the middle of nowhere on 4hrs or less notice, and the first thing the venue owner says is "are you bringing a big crowd with you?"

Er, I thought we were going to play to the crowd waiting for the originally booked act? Oh no, they've already heard about the flat tyre/broken axle and all headed home. So, where's your crowd? You haven't brought a crowd? You don't expect to get paid do you if you haven't brought a crowd? I've got overheads y'know - wasting my time turning up with no crowd... :twisted:

I'd already got fed up of this when my then guitarist scrambled us one night. A pizza restaurant, of all places, had been let down on the opening night by a band so we were offered the gig. No, no, no I said. "already agreed" he said. Sure enough, we turned up and the first thing the owner asked was how many margherita-munchers we'd brought with us. We played one song to a couple sharing a garlic bread when he pulled the plug on us. I think we re-named the song "the pizzas in here taste like cack" just to get the quick exit.

Murphy's law states that if it can go wrong it will.
Sod's law says that Murphy was an optomist! ;) :(
________
Chevrolet S3X/T2X

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