Home Forums Guitar Discussion Guitar DEFINITELY the worst guitar ever!!!

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  • #21671
    lee_UK
    Participant

    i know its a big claim, but you know what its like, too much time on my hands, nothing on the TV, ebay is winking at you, so i had to have a look for REAL bad guitars and came up with this one, his claim is kind of interesting too ‘PLEASE DO NOT EMAILS ABOUT THIS GUITAR,WE JUST DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT’ so what do we think about this one?? anyone got anything close??

    http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2384&item=7309722625&rd=1

    frightening thing is, there are 3 bids on it, 8 days left, not you is it 1bassleft??

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    • #65370
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Doug the Carver is our leader.

    • #65352
      1bassleft
      Participant

      When I opened up Carver Doug’s site, I really, for once in my life, didn’t know where to start. I did say it made our thread look like a bunch of slight mishaps. This chap’s turned it into an artform. Guitar Dadaism.

    • #65339
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Your balls would have to be twice the size of Batman’s bazooma’s to get up and play this thing in a packed pub in East Ham on a Saturday night., Carver Doug is our Saviour, he can always be counted on to produce the comedy, with his chisel and hammer.

    • #65367
      Tim
      Participant

      Who the Funk is Spinner man and why is he trying to fist Batman and why do they all have saggy boobs…so many questions…No wonder Super(apart from his legs)man is trying to get out of there!

    • #65335
      glw
      Participant

      Let’s have another Carver Doug effort:

      #http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars/images/batstrat.1.jpg

      Why, I wonder, does Spiderman appear to have breasts?

    • #65371
      Tim
      Participant

      Wow, a last minute contender for the prize, why the f has santa got Roses in his hair? should be snowdrops surely (in this Hemisphere anyway!)

      Some chef, somewhere, is now missing a pretty good chopping board.

    • #65360
      shakedown_04092
      Participant

      You guys may know that I’m a big fan of the Grateful Dead, but this is just disgusting:

      #http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q127/shakedown_04092/uglyguitar.jpg

    • #65349
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Thanks, Lee. I do indeed feel like a complete git, now 😳

    • #65373
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Your comment on the Golfer dad had me laughing so much i fell off my chair.
      it looks nothing like the picture, but the spooky thing is he has this website listed in his links page… i hope he isn’t a contributer… maybe it’s TIM !!

      ‘Everything you want to know about guitars is at GuitarSite.com’ thats what he said in his links page… feeling bad yet Bass? i personally feel you are being a bit harsh on him, he obviously has a talent with a Gouge a Chisel and a sweep. ( thank god for wikipedia ).
      I’m looking in to buying one for the living room wall.. now i only have to decide which one…

    • #65379
      1bassleft
      Participant

      For me, the carving more closely resembles Metallica’s Cliff Burton (WARNING: sick comment approaching)

      after he left the bus.

    • #65338
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Hold on, everyone. I was searching for a suitable “Editors Telecaster” image and, somehow, I was led to this website:
      http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars.html

      I insist you check it out; a Top 50 Axe-eyeache all of its own. Makes our little thread seem insipid by comparison (especially as there’s not a hint of a snigger on the site listed above – except for the Wangcaster).

      I particularly like the John Lennon Rickenbacker:
      #http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars/images/john_lennon_02.jpg

      #[/quote]

      I don’t get it, a John Lennon Rickenbacker signature with a head carving of George Washington? where’s the connection? were they related? i’m confused.

    • #65362
      1bassleft
      Participant

      and the sub-sub “Steve Vai Jem” handle looks suspiciously like a used, colonic irrigation tube.

    • #65342
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]…and how did we manage to miss this auction:

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/shiteguitar1.jpg
      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/shiteguitar2.jpg

      [quote]1980’s style custom guitar.

      I have no idea what make it is as I have never seen another one like it.

      I have owned it for about 15 years it was well used befroe I owned it.

      It has had several differnt paint sceems on it I have painted it twice myself. It currently has no paint on it as I sanded to paint it again but I did not get round to it so put it back together and used it a bit befrore storing it.

      Was working last time I used it. Could do with a re string.

      It is an old guitar so viewing recomended. Please contact if you would like to view or have any questions I’ll do my best.

      Please only bid if you want to buy.

      UK bidders only. Cash on collection only.

      Happy Bidding.[/quote]

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=140163335832&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=004[/quote]

      If Jesus never did weep, i think he would have had he seen this one, this guitar is truly dismal, but it still shades in comparison to this guys 2 attempted goes at spelling ‘Before’ befroe, befrore, my kingdom for a befrore. differnt Sceems?
      Cash on collection is always a good idea with people like this, cos you know they will be having trouble counting up to more than £10, but then £10 does seem a lot for this carbuncle of nonsense.

    • #65357
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I have that Editors album and, as you say, it’s difficult to listen to all the tracks in one sitting because of the strident, Rick+Marshall lead playing. Great tracks like Munich and Bullets I can listen to again and again, though.

      Bob the bludgeoner is a new one on me and I stumbled onto the site by accident. I can well believe some SG or LP owner being somewhat mortified on picking up his post-customized axe but it reminds me of the story of the drunk bloke who jumped onto a kid’s bouncy castle, broke his back/neck/whatever, and sued for damages. A little bit of thought before pressing the “go ahead” button is usually recommended.

    • #65337
      shakedown_04092
      Participant
    • #65361
      glw
      Participant

      Hey bass, I saw the Editors at the weekend. That Tele the singer uses is a Telecaster Deluxe (with the large Strat-style headstock). He alternated between that and a Gibson 335 (I think), and the piano of course.

      I didn’t know their music (some colleagues were going and had a spare ticket because someone dropped out). It was OK, not really my type of thing, and that mandolin-esque lead guitar sound gets a bit annoying after a few songs.

      As to Carver Doug… Blimey! Surely you’ve seen his “work” before? Wasn’t there a bit of a furore recently when someone claimed he had totally wrecked their prize guitar?

    • #65374
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Hold on, everyone. I was searching for a suitable “Editors Telecaster” image and, somehow, I was led to this website:
      http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars.html

      I insist you check it out; a Top 50 Axe-eyeache all of its own. Makes our little thread seem insipid by comparison (especially as there’s not a hint of a snigger on the site listed above – except for the Wangcaster).

      I particularly like the John Lennon Rickenbacker:
      #http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars/images/john_lennon_02.jpg

      An improved ’74 SG:
      #http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars/images/blu.10.jpg

      and (my favourite), a whimsical, sentimental but worthy notion of taking a cherished pic of some bloke’s golf-crazy dad:
      #http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars/images/jr.31.jpg
      and carving it into a guitar that looks as though the poor geezer was beaten with the five-iron repeatedly:
      #http://www.carverdoug.com/guitars/images/jr.20.jpg

    • #65344
      Tim
      Participant

      Truly hideous, with a little more work that guitar good be ‘steam-punk’ but then, steam-punk guitars just tend to look silly.

      As for the bass…what can you say? Other than why has it got second tail coming out of it’s head? or just ‘Why?’ for that matter

    • #65358
      glw
      Participant
    • #65334
      glw
      Participant

      …and how did we manage to miss this auction:

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/shiteguitar1.jpg
      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/shiteguitar2.jpg

      [quote]1980’s style custom guitar.

      I have no idea what make it is as I have never seen another one like it.

      I have owned it for about 15 years it was well used befroe I owned it.

      It has had several differnt paint sceems on it I have painted it twice myself. It currently has no paint on it as I sanded to paint it again but I did not get round to it so put it back together and used it a bit befrore storing it.

      Was working last time I used it. Could do with a re string.

      It is an old guitar so viewing recomended. Please contact if you would like to view or have any questions I’ll do my best.

      Please only bid if you want to buy.

      UK bidders only. Cash on collection only.

      Happy Bidding.[/quote]

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=140163335832&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=004

    • #65330
      glw
      Participant

      Did you also spot these horrors?

      The Flying K
      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/big_k.jpg

      Cat Thing (or Bat Thing… or just Thing, perhaps)
      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/kitty.jpg

    • #65378
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Ooh, nasty. It also looks like it’s dropping a log. The seller also has a nice line in doublenecks; the most lachrymatory being this acoustic.
      #http://i19.ebayimg.com/04/i/000/89/e4/f066_1.JPG

      Is there such a thing as a nice, doubleneck acoustic? Is there any point in the soundhole with these things?

    • #65348
      glw
      Participant
    • #65356
      Tim
      Participant

      Begins with Top ends in Man…

      AKA: Topshop, Burtons, River Island and all the rest of them, crap IMO!

    • #65351
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Ummm… let me think about that one, cheap T-Shirts, intellectual slogans.

    • #65347
      Tim
      Participant

      I do like a man who flames himself.

      A southern guitarist who flames himself is almost too good to be true.

      E was sayin ma top wa interlekchull, bu a goh it cos it waz cheep. u no less muni van gud cloves?

    • #65376
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Over my head, must be a bass playing thing,.

    • #65341
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]Yeah thats me to a tee (see what I did there?), [/quote]

      Veni, vidi, groani 😛

    • #65346
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]…sensitive, poetic type.[/quote]

      Yeah thats me to a tee (see what I did there?), thought you’d have noticed by now 😆

    • #65365
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Is that a Wilfred Owen T-shirt, Tim? No wonder your gf always polishes it for you – sensitive, poetic type.

    • #65340
      Tim
      Participant

      No, nothing useful like that! Just a blindingly shiny bass:

      #http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b378/subphonic/Llan2.jpg

    • #65354
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Tim”] my girlfriend kept polishing it before gigs ![/quote]

      You should never own up to something like that Tim, did she also make you a packed lunch? maybe an apple and orange for the halftime interval?? 😆

    • #65343
      Tim
      Participant

      Depends how professional you want to be…I’ve always just sanded back a bit then sprayed. Obviously following the usual ‘good spraying’ practices, but yeah, a bit of sanding and the new paint will bond, if you want a glass like finish get a pro to do it. I gave my bass probably 5 or 6 thin coats and it worked fine….but I was using satin which can hide a multitude of sins…

      #http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b378/subphonic/Satin.jpg

      Of course you might want to remove the knobs, Pup covers etc…I was just lazy, basically my girlfriend kept polishing it before gigs (the bass) making it look like some shiny noob thing so I sprayed it satin, problem solved!

    • #65331
      shakedown_04092
      Participant

      Lee – speaking of which – do you (or does anybody) know what it would take to either strip a guitar & repaint it, or can you just spray right over it? Just curious.

    • #65375
      lee_UK
      Participant

      It’s a shame, i bet it plays quite well.

    • #65345
      shakedown_04092
      Participant

      Saw this beauty at Guitar Center the other day while helping my brother buy a new bass amp & cab. Epiphone isn’t the best guitar, but a good one nonetheless….why someone would want to ruin one is beyond me (they actually had the audacity to DISPLAY this one in the front section of the store!):

      Sorry for the poor quality, it was taken w/ my camera phone:

      #http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q127/shakedown_04092/PhonePictures051.jpg

    • #65350
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Hey Baader-Meinhof ,Those AK’s have been done before, im sure of it,
      Nothing worse than a Red Army Faction member hijacking other peoples finds. 😆 Hang your head in shame BassyBaarder.

    • #57884
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The bass boys at PlexiPalace, specifically Georg aka soundandthecity, turned up another good one. Perfect for “Full Metal Racket”
      #http://www.guitar-bass-shop.de/Messemodelle/KHL-2.2_7.jpg

      and its six-string sibling:
      #http://i21.ebayimg.com/01/i/000/ac/41/4f64_1.JPG
      presumably the camouflage is so that, hopefully, noone will actually see you carrying the thing.

      But (and I like this one, “Make music not war” etc) Pat aka Pacafeliz turned up this article on a Columbian luthier who converts genuine AK47s into guitars:
      http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200610/06/eng20061006_309506.html

      #http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200610/06/images/xin_3221003051321593320433.jpg
      ¿Recordé primero quitar las balas? 😆

    • #57859
      Michael
      Participant

      😆 descriptions can make or break a sale.

    • #57848
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I bet that guy who sold it is a marketing exec.

    • #57840
      glw
      Participant

      Blimey, it sold for £53.

    • #57838
      glw
      Participant

      Nevertheless, there have been 12 bids on it!

    • #57839
      lee_UK
      Participant

      priceless 😆

    • #57876
      glw
      Participant

      There’s only one day left for this eBay auction, and I want to share the details with you before they are lost forever.
      The seller is not only refreshingly honest but also a bit of a comedian:

      CRAPPY OLD ELECTRIC GUITAR

      O.K FOLKS….. YES YOU HAVEN’T MISREAD THE TITLE….

      THIS ELECTRIC GUITAR SURE IS A PILE OF RUBBISH SO BEWARE .

      IF I SAW IT IN A SKIP I WOULD JUST IGNORE IT, BUT BEARING IN MIND
      I ONCE SOLD A BEAUTIFUL OLD RADIO TO DAVE STEWART OF THE
      EURYTHMICS FOR PEANUTS COS HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS A DOWN AND
      OUT DOSSER, WHAT DO MY OPINIONS COUNT FOR..

      ACCORDING TO MY LOVELY DAUGHTER DELIA (CURRENTLY IN BANDS
      THE MANIC COUGH ,SCHALALAS AND THE FANTASTIC NUNS) I DID
      SOME DUBIOUS RIP OFF DEAL WITH HER AND SHE ENDED UP WITH THIS
      PIE OF CRAP…GAWD WHAT A “ORRIBLE” DADDY I MUST HAVE BEEN

      ANYWAY THIS S..T HEAP DEFINATELY WORKS AND THE MACHINE HEADS
      WORK AND THE ACTION IS NOT TOO HIGH SO WHAT MORE COULD YOU
      EXPECT.

      I’VE SEEN SO MANY NERDY BANDS IN THE PAST THAT HAVE
      REEEEDICKYOULUSSLY EXPENSIVE GUITARS THAT SOUND HORRIBLE
      MAYBE THIS CRAPPY GUITAR WOULD SUIT SOME PUNKY STREETWISE
      GARAGE BAND….THING IS PEEEEPLE WOULD LOOK AT YOUR GUITAR
      AND EXPECT SOME REALLY CRAP MUSIC AND THEN YOU WOULD
      PRODUCE SOME STUFF THAT WOULD BLOW THEIR SOX OFF….

      SO WOT MORE CAN I SAY …. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT THIS GUITAR IS
      CAREFULLY WRAPPED BUT BEARING IN MIND WOT A LOAD OF TAT IT IS
      IT CANT REALLY BE DAMAGED ANY MORE….THERE IS A LOW STARTING
      PRICE AND NO RESERVE…..

      BUT DONT BID ON THIS UNLESS YOU ARE MAD OR STUPID….ANY MONEY
      RAISED FOR THIS IS DEFINATELY NOT GOING TOWARDS A GOOD
      CAUSE AND IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS GUITAR HARD LUCK AS I DONT
      WANT IT BACK..

      LOVE AND PEACE …UNCLE JASPER FROM HASTINGS

      On 17-Sep-07 at 12:47:52 BST, seller added the following information:

      HOT NEWS ….HOT NEWS !!!!….FOR ALL YOU GUITAR ANORAKS…..ON
      THE BRIDGE PLATE IT SAYS BROADWAY…SO BLOODY WOT IT STILL
      SOUNDS CRAP…..CHEERS …JASPER

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/crappy1.jpg#http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/crappy2.jpg#http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/crappy3.jpg

      Questions from other members : CRAPPY OLD ELECTRIC GUITAR

      Q: his guitar is broadway from the sixties.it was my first guitar.it cost 9
      quid s/h in 63.that was a weeks wages then ,so now it’s worth 9 quid.may
      even bid for nostalgia.good luck 17-Sep-07
      A: thing is …whatever it is its a load of crap..and whoever wins this will
      be very disappointed…. you could always give this to someone you cant
      stand… cheers …jas

      Q: Hi there, Is the neck nailed onto the body or is it taped? Cheers, Si. 15-Sep-07
      A: the body and neck are one piece….i.e it is not bolted on

      Q: Hello, just some information on your guitar that may be of some help.
      Infact, what you have is a VERY RARE Leo Fender tele protype from 1953
      in puke blue, HOWEVER, someone has messed with it by fitting a non
      original protype Floyd Rose trem(rare in itself!)If I am not mistaken, this
      is the missing guitar from the Scotty Moore Blue collection !!! Good luck
      with the auction you lucky man. Yours, green with envy, Nathan 14-Sep-07
      A: MMmmmmmm…. a case of too much spliff… x

      Q: Hi There.Just wondered what is underneath the gaffa tape.Thanks-Martin. 14-Sep-07
      A: a packet a smarties and a pair of dirty sox….

      Q: Hi, are you going to let the auction run its course or, could you do
      a ‘DON’T BUY IT NOW’ option ? Cheers, Keef 14-Sep-07
      A: sorry keith i dont respond to people that cant spell their own name right….

      Q: ill take it if you pay me good luck finding a buyer. 14-Sep-07
      A: do you think i’m stupid……dont answer

      Q: Do you have any other crap like this so that I can combine the
      postage and save that way? Alternatively can I drive down from Scotland
      and collect? Incidentally does it have a bridge or is that an optional
      extra? 14-Sep-07
      A: hi jock….no more crap at the moment apart from a rusty jaws harp
      and a woodworm riddled drumstick…..i think that the chrome thingy on it
      might have replaced the bridge…goodnight

      Q: Oh my GOD you are so not wrong…Thats gotta be the MOST accurate
      description I have ever seen on ebay. It’s quite honestly the most
      shocking looking guitar I think I have ever, ever seen, and is ALMOST
      worth a consideration buying for sheer mirth value alone!!! WOW! Steve (steham5494) 13-Sep-07
      A: listen my darling ….there is more to life than just good looks so
      although this guitar looks crap it might play really nice…UNFORTUNATELY
      IT DOESN’T

      Q: How much to send that pile of crap over here to the States? My
      zip/postal code is 84120, Salt Lake City, Utah. Thanks bro, Chance. 13-Sep-07
      A: HI CHANCE….. its a beautiful day here in hastings…. i can either
      drag this piece of junk down to the post office to find the cost of postage
      or i can go fishing….Mmmm…sorry mate i can hear the call of the plaice…

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=170148808281&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=007

    • #57871
      shakedown_04092
      Participant

      Holy shite, you guys are killing me. Those last 2 comments were priceless! 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    • #57869
      Michael
      Participant

      Looks like Michael J Fox cut it out with a pair of scissors.

    • #57870
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I think you need to read between the lines to pick out this guitars best bits.
      It has erm…. hang on.
      it’s wooden.

      What a great find.

    • #57867
      glw
      Participant

      Here’s a homemade horror from the 1950s:

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/homemade.jpg

      The seller acknowledges its “rustic charm” and seems to be taking the angle that it’s a “sadly, very hard to find historical item”.

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Vintage-50s-Homemade-ELECTRIC-SOLID-BODY-GUITAR-Hofner_W0QQitemZ110171743309QQihZ001QQcategoryZ106457QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #57866
      glw
      Participant
    • #57860
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Howzabout a Silvertone Paul Stanley that the seller thought would be a good idea to cover with $300 worth of rhinestones?
      #http://i3.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/b5/a0/62db_1.JPG
      http://cgi.ebay.com/KISS-Paul-Stanley-Silvertone-Rhinestone-Guitar-Project_W0QQitemZ130152490746QQihZ003QQcategoryZ2384QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      Just prize them off. This thing can’t go past $100, surely. Descn in the listing worth reading.

      Next up, “think how proud you’ll be after bringing this baby back to life” says the seller. Unfortunately, this baby is Rosemary’s:
      #http://imagehost.vendio.com/bin/imageserver.x/00000000/franksmusicbox/greenbass8.jpg

      Not only does this Epiphone have a nasty-looking Auburn Uni logo dominating, but also suffers from a broken neck:

      #http://i2.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/b6/18/b5bf_1.JPG
      [quote]This is basically a new instrument that was damaged in shipping. It is not stamped “2nd” or “used” on the back of the headstock[/quote][/quote]

      I bet the Bass has a nice low action, on account of the missing nut and collapsed bridge, ‘Rosemarys Baby’ 😆 😆 😆

    • #57837
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Howzabout a Silvertone Paul Stanley that the seller thought would be a good idea to cover with $300 worth of rhinestones?
      #http://i3.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/b5/a0/62db_1.JPG
      http://cgi.ebay.com/KISS-Paul-Stanley-Silvertone-Rhinestone-Guitar-Project_W0QQitemZ130152490746QQihZ003QQcategoryZ2384QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      Just prize them off. This thing can’t go past $100, surely. Descn in the listing worth reading.

      Next up, “think how proud you’ll be after bringing this baby back to life” says the seller. Unfortunately, this baby is Rosemary’s:
      #http://imagehost.vendio.com/bin/imageserver.x/00000000/franksmusicbox/greenbass8.jpg

      Not only does this Epiphone have a nasty-looking Auburn Uni logo dominating, but also suffers from a broken neck:

      #http://i2.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/b6/18/b5bf_1.JPG
      [quote]This is basically a new instrument that was damaged in shipping. It is not stamped “2nd” or “used” on the back of the headstock[/quote]

    • #57885
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I’m still shaking my head in disbelief.

    • #57877
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]It solves all those ‘ive just finished my solo, now i need a Bass’ issues.[/quote]

      Your solo finishes around the 15th fret, by the look of this thing 😆

    • #57863
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I put in an early bid in case it’s gets pulled, it’s the most innovative guitar since the Strat. It solves all those ‘ive just finished my solo, now i need a Bass’ issues. The times i wish i had a Bass clipped on to my SG, never there when you need it, also this one is so well done, the craftsmanship is excellent!
      Well done for finding it Bass, but surely it’s in the wrong thread??

    • #57855
      1bassleft
      Participant

      PLEASE have a click on this recent Fleeb auction. It was flagged up by 1953 Vintage on the PlexiPalace forum and he’s allowed me to nick the link for posting here:

      http://cgi.ebay.com/Electric-combo-guitar-and-bass_W0QQitemZ320156473628QQihZ011QQcategoryZ4713QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      The pics are in an adobe slideshow format and I haven’t worked out yet how to get the abomination imaged here. This carbuncle failed to exceed $0.99 and meet its reserve ($1 maybe?) even though – and get this – the “intellectual propert rights to the patent are included in the purchase price” 😆 😆

      #http://storage.supremeauction.com/flash/ebay2/09/63/52/9635225/11885280e.jpg

    • #57864
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Apols, Lee. I didn’t click on your Fleeblink and never commented on an excellent find. Terrible; like a Year 9 project. Here’s a temp IMG link to the auction:

      #http://i10.ebayimg.com/05/i/000/b5/33/7df9_12.JPG

    • #57881
      lee_UK
      Participant

      If it was owned by Hendrix / Clapton then i can understand a £25,000 price tag… But Dave ‘Wonky Fringe’ Hill? son of Jimmy? come on, 25k? oh mama we are all crazy now.

    • #57846
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I have a friend Stateside who buys anything John Birch but I hope the looks as much as the price would put him off that one. The coral reef guitar is excreable, particularly the lime coloured hardware.

    • #57873
      lee_UK
      Participant

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/MELTDOWN-CUSTOM-PROJECT-UNUSUAL-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ120159951032QQihZ002QQcategoryZ42455QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      Have a read up from the seller, triangular pickups?? sounds like sh*te, and a 5 min mercury timer, weird.

    • #57858
      lee_UK
      Participant

      The first one (Dave Hill) has a BIN price of £25,000.
      Guitars for knob heads.
      Good find glw.

    • #57880
      glw
      Participant
    • #57843
      Michael
      Participant

      Somethings should never be made.

    • #57856
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I think glw deserves some sort of MBE for finding these things…

      I had a look at both the Fleeb auction and the YouTube demo. 24 fret neck and access almost impossible after the 17th fret but didn’t let that put me off. Really interesting/amusing to watch the youtube. Sounded OK with the bottleneck (in a cigarbox way) but there’s a little bit when he plays boggo without the bottle and it sounds completely shi’ite. Would I spunk £135? Nope, but I’m just a bass player of course…

    • #57847
      glw
      Participant
    • #57852
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The green bit looks a bit like the fish in Springfield river (incidentally, I wonder why BNFL never sued Matt Groening; I used to work at their Springfield site and BNFL´s logo is almost identical to that on the cartoon cooling tower).

    • #57868
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Ah-so Michael son. 😆

      The website says it all.

    • #57849
      Michael
      Participant

      Lol… splendid catch GLW.

      I’m going to be in Japan September/October. I want to track this beast down.

    • #57857
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57853
      Tim
      Participant

      WINNER!!!

      I assumed you’d p’shopped that at first but there’s a website too! OMFG

    • #57842
      glw
      Participant
    • #57886
      lee_UK
      Participant

      To the guy in the T-Shirt anything is possible.

    • #57862
      Tim
      Participant

      😯 Do you think thats possible?!

    • #57850
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Maybe a little blow up valve on the side, two puffs and it blows up to reveal a gibson les paul?
      Im full of erm… ideas? 😆

    • #57879
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]Its only for the hotel room or the back of the car!! …you dont go up in front of 10,000 screaming fans at the O2 center and give it a 2 minute solo! 😉 [/quote]

      😀 Man, I need to get out more…

      But yeah, like I said in my first post, not outrageously ugly just a bit, eww. Maybe they could be covered on the front and have one removable turning key that adjusted all the machine heads or something? I don’t know, first thing that popped into my head…

    • #57883
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I Agree with glw Tim, i think they do exactly what it says on the tin, who cares if you look a bit of a Barclays Banker playing it? Its only for the hotel room or the back of the car!! it’s a traveller you dont go up in front of 10,000 screaming fans at the O2 center and give it a 2 minute solo! 😉

      I still dont think i could wear the T-shirt though, do you have to wear one?

    • #57854
      glw
      Participant

      The thing is Tim, those tuners in the body actually work quite well. (I own a Pro Series Traveler – the thing is virtually indestructable).

      Most of the Traveler range are piezo-driven electro-acoustics (albeit solids) and so a Steinberger-esque bridge/tuner assembly wouldn’t really be suitable. Admittedly, their two all-electric models could benefit from this set-up.

    • #57851
      Tim
      Participant

      It’s those tuners though, which seem to be a ‘signature’ feature! that look nasty. There must be a more aesthetically pleasing way round the problem. I guess bridge tuners wouldn’t work with the acoustic bit?

      Although making the one in the pic out of Granny’s old sideboard didn’t help either.

    • #57875
      glw
      Participant

      Tim, to be fair to Traveler Guitars, they have recently re-designed much of their range with much more pleasing to the eye body shapes.

    • #57874
      myfoot
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]It looks very erm.. well i think his t-shirt says it all, after you take off the OG.[/quote]

      Nicely done 😛 😛

    • #57844
      lee_UK
      Participant

      It looks very erm.. well i think his t-shirt says it all, after you take off the OG.

    • #57878
      Tim
      Participant

      I know it’s not outrageously ugly but it seems a very messy solution to a simple problem:

      #http://www.steelbender.com/pictures/California2006/cali31.jpg #http://www.steelbender.com/pictures/California2006/cali62.jpg

    • #57861
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Only if your second name is Mac. Looks like he used that guitar as a shield from the critics after Greeny left wearing the cape in 1970.

    • #57882
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😆 , I suppose having several holes put in the body that weren’t there before is very Fleetwood, Lee.

    • #57865
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]Someone should explain to him that “Custom” does not mean “butchered carelessly”.[/quote]

      Have you ever been to Fleetwood? you see ‘Custom’ muggings out side the chip shop on Promenades rd every Friday and Saturday night, to the Fleetwoododions, it does mean butchered carelessly.
      And don’t forget Bass, what you save in postage costs will soon be outweighed by the cost of new wheel trims, and new wheels of course, and also replacement glass as no car insurance policy will cover you in the Fleetwood/Blackpool area.

    • #57845
      glw
      Participant

      Someone should explain to him that “Custom” does not mean “butchered carelessly”.

    • #57841
      1bassleft
      Participant

      hahahahahah… hang on, I live near Fleetwood. I could save on postage costs and offer £2985 cash on collection.

    • #57872
      1bassleft
      Participant

      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • #57832
      1bassleft
      Participant

      “Value £3000”, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • #57799
      Michael
      Participant

      Holes like that are a selling point.

    • #57793
      lee_UK
      Participant

      is this another of your ‘Hole in Strat’ searches on ebay?? i like the nice touch of the pink guitar lead going through one of the holes in the body, real classy touch.

    • #57834
      glw
      Participant

      I found this abomination on swapz.co.uk

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/butchered_squier.jpg

      And I quote:

      CUSTOM FENDER SQUIRE~~~~~L@@K~~~~~

      Value: £ 3000.00
      Location: North West England – FLEETWOOD

      SWAP Description

      CUSTOM CHOPPED FENDER SQUIRE…VERY LIGHT !!!…HAND PAINTED SCRATCH PLATE BY PRO ARTIST AND SIGNED 2002…CHROME ELECTRO PLATED KNOBS…(the input socket is a bit dodgy…it works with a bit of card behind jack plug, but could do with replaceing…very cheap to buy…) VERY RARE GUITAR…A ONE OFF !!!

      I want to swap for

      CASH…OR WHAT HAVE YOU…GUITAR…AMP…SYNTH…OR ANYTHING INTERESTING.
      I AM OPEN TO ALL SWAPZ

    • #57835
      glw
      Participant

      Nice flooring though.

    • #57815
      Michael
      Participant
    • #57787
      myfoot
      Participant

      Thanks for the links..those actually look like they are well made .

    • #57831
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 6-string cigar box, although doubtless they’re around. Mostly, I see 4-strings. Red Dog has some youtube clips from that site that are worth checking. I like Bo’rrific and Stella because they weren’t all “just slide the bottleneck around”.

    • #57812
      glw
      Participant

      For quality cigar box guitars, check out these:

      http://reddogguitars.com/

    • #57818
      glw
      Participant

      Nah… cigar box guitars often had reduced numbers of strings.

    • #57819
      myfoot
      Participant

      Well that’s true I guess…altho it only has 4 strings so maybe it’s a cigar box bass 🙂

    • #57801
      glw
      Participant

      Why a joke?

      It’s a cigar box guitar. Not a great one by look of things, but nevertheless…

    • #57810
      myfoot
      Participant
    • #57828
      myfoot
      Participant

      Yep;I liked Version 1 better myself 😛

    • #57803
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Thanks for digging that out, myfoot. I think I was better the first time around – I even made myself laugh 🙂

    • #57806
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]That guitar might’ve appeared on another forum I frequent. I remember writing the line

      “Ed Roman Ted Nugent and a gun all in the same room – and nobody pulled the trigger?”

      To my disappointment, nobody found it funny :([/quote]

      Maybe they were all from Utah.

    • #57833
      myfoot
      Participant

      Shit ibl ..when I saw your reply , I was like “oh yea” I actually posted on this earlier and you replied to that
      https://www.guitarsite.com/hotlicks/about2705.html&highlight=

      you said
      [quote]Ed Roman, Ted Nugent, a guitar and a gun all together at the same time. The fact that it didn’t go off at least twice may be proof that there isn’t a God after all.[/quote]

      Must have missed the reply.Could have been when the board was inundated with porn spam

    • #57789
      glw
      Participant

      Yeah, nice line!

    • #57804
      Michael
      Participant

      [quote]”Ed Roman Ted Nugent and a gun all in the same room – and nobody pulled the trigger?”[/quote]

      Lol … I found it hilarious.

      Hey Lee, we had that show on Sunday night in Australia. It surely must have been a repeat in the UK.

    • #57827
      1bassleft
      Participant

      That guitar might’ve appeared on another forum I frequent. I remember writing the line

      “Ed Roman Ted Nugent and a gun all in the same room – and nobody pulled the trigger?”

      To my disappointment, nobody found it funny 🙁

    • #57797
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”myfoot”]Isn’t Ed Roman some kind of an ass anyway..I think everything I’ve read about him (other than his website) isn’t very flattering.[/quote]

      Anyone see that TV program on egomaniacs last night? and Narcissistic personality dissorder? only one survivng person in the whole world shows signs of all 9 traits.

      1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
      2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
      3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by other special people
      4. requires excessive admiration
      5. strong sense of entitlement
      6. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
      7. lacks empathy
      8. is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her
      9. arrogant affect.

      Can you guess who?

      No it’s not Mike. or Roger Waters.

    • #57790
      Michael
      Participant

      You would need a good year to scour the web before you found something good about him.

    • #57820
      myfoot
      Participant

      Isn’t Ed Roman some kind of an ass anyway..I think everything I’ve read about him (other than his website) isn’t very flattering.

    • #57821
      acoustica1
      Participant

      Maybe not the worse,but the most dangerous!! 😀
      http://www.edromanguitars.com/featured/tednugent.htm

    • #57809
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Strewth! I go away for a few days and some real eyeache appears; especially the NAMM oddities. Back to that Kay travel guitar, a student friend had one, started taking it to bits, then left it at my house. Two years later, I sold the house so I dumped any junk lying around (the Kay qualified in my book). About a year after that, the guy tracks me down and wants to know “what happened to the guitar I left with you for safe keeping”

      He looked a bit PO’d when I told him. OK, have a click on this Fleeb auction. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Short-t-scale-30-5-fretless-bass-neck-glued-into-body_W0QQitemZ120083170018QQihZ002QQcategoryZ4713QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      The pics are pretty crummy, but you get to see what an unworkable pile of firewood is offered for sale here. 😆

    • #57813
      acoustica1
      Participant
    • #57826
      Tim
      Participant

      I’ve seen jumbo frets but they must be 1/4 inch!
      Still, it’s amazing wahat you can do with MDF, all praise to ‘Changing Rooms’ (if you’re in the UK!). I played with MDF dust for years before they banned it, so if I ever suddenly stop posting…

    • #57791
      glw
      Participant

      That Sax Guitar is quite funny.

    • #57817
      Michael
      Participant

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/sax2.jpg

      There is just something ultra lame about instrument crossovers. This one would make any owner a certified tool in the highest degree.

    • #57808
      lee_UK
      Participant

      What is that stuffed stag doing to the other stuffed stag?

    • #57829
      glw
      Participant

      Plenty of horrors from NAMM on this page: http://www.otheroom.com/namm/guitars.html

    • #57792
      acoustica1
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]No 1 is a based on the Roland 707 guitar synth controller. No 2 is a Kay Travel guitar (also known as the Austin Hatchett) and is actually quite a collectable piece. No 3 looks like a Burns Flyte with a backwards mounted body! No idea what No 4 is, but it’s definitely an ugly one.[/quote]

      Hey…..not bad!!!!
      No 3 is a Flyte mirage
      No 4 a Burns Weill……ugly????You are talking about 1bassleft’s favourite model!!! 😀

    • #57814
      glw
      Participant

      No 1 is a based on the Roland 707 guitar synth controller. No 2 is a Kay Travel guitar (also known as the Austin Hatchett) and is actually quite a collectable piece. No 3 looks like a Burns Flyte with a backwards mounted body! No idea what No 4 is, but it’s definitely an ugly one.

    • #57836
      acoustica1
      Participant
    • #57823
      lee_UK
      Participant

      It is a hand made flying V, supposed to be lefthanded too, so why did he make it as a right hander? maybe he didn’t realise.
      Ive asked him for some more pictures, could be worth a laugh, and this one goes in my top 10, well spotted Bass. 😆

    • #57788
      glw
      Participant

      It looks like something that’s been hastily knocked up in the garden shed.

    • #57822
      1bassleft
      Participant

      This could easily go in “optimistic ebayers” thread, with its £150 start and reserve-not-met bonkers price. On pure ugliness and that ghastly “cheap, ancient plank” headstock, though, this is the rightful place:

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/P-G-M-BASS-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ120079470533QQihZ002QQcategoryZ4713QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      #http://i12.ebayimg.com/06/i/000/87/1e/9ff9_1.JPG

    • #57802
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Whatever, those are great finds; particularly the white, plasticky thing. Nice discovery, castoff 🙂

    • #57796
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Before we psycho-analyse it, do we know what it is supposed to be? the top horn looks like a bone, but after that im lost.

    • #57825
      castoff
      Participant

      And what sort of vision inspired this?

      #http://i17.ebayimg.com/02/i/07/d0/ef/cd_1.JPG

      Lying in a field gazing at clouds or staring into the toilet bowl after ingesting too many psychotropics?

    • #57800
      castoff
      Participant

      #http://i14.ebayimg.com/01/i/000/78/0d/e6e6_1.JPG

      First thought that came to mind, “Careful with that axe Eugene”.

      I know we have seen this one before in a different colour scheme. That suggests that someone is mass producing these uglies. Scarey

    • #57824
      Tim
      Participant

      Probably more effective than all these fad diets, they should do a weight-loss video…

    • #57794
      glw
      Participant

      I saw Lordi play the Forum, London, last Halloween. You’ve got to hand it to them, they put on a bloody good show, and their tunes aren’t bad either.

      Playing a gig in those costumes and all that latex must be hard work.

    • #57830
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Maybe the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest Winners would buy it. Lordi have their own official site and the usual Myspace, youtube stuff now.

      http://www.lordi.fi/main.site?action=siteupdate/view&id=11

    • #57807
      castoff
      Participant

      Yes, but if I played in a Klingon Empire metal band…….Hmmm. I would want it.

    • #57811
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I did notice that, Castoff. Gives that whole, rock ‘n’ roll, “pelvic grind” a new meaning. In a really bad way 😆

    • #57795
      castoff
      Participant

      😯 The crucifiction submission by myfoot is interesting. For those of you not familiar with skeletal anatomy…. the large ears attached to the sides of the wedge are actually the separated halves of the pelvis of some type of animal (perhaps a cow or horse). If you were able to view the back of that monstrosity you would see the hip sockets. Is this too much information? Now I have heard of a bone nut or bone saddle or bone bridge pins but bone bouts is a first for me. How much sustain does one guitar need?

      I wonder why nobody bid on it. In my opinion a guitar always plays and sounds better and is much sexier and is worth much much more when it has mammalian body parts hanging from it. 🙄 🙄

    • #57798
      glw
      Participant

      Someone’s just ripped off the design of the Traveler … badly!

    • #57805
      myfoot
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]

      Why?[/quote]
      Good question 😛

    • #57816
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57779
      1bassleft
      Participant

      That is top ugliness, myfoot. In terms of concept, absolutely appalling.

    • #57765
      myfoot
      Participant

      [quote]Contest over. That has to be the worst. [/quote]
      And no bids yet on this prizewinner 😕

    • #57745
      glw
      Participant
    • #57783
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57738
      Michael
      Participant

      Both hideous finds.

      Lee, doesn’t yours belong to that heavy metal axe company that makes guitars that look like axes and other weapons with medievil-like qualities. The company that has hideous models posing over their guitars.

    • #57761
      myfoot
      Participant
    • #57747
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57763
      lee_UK
      Participant

      My Daughter Louise says the patchwork guitar is the uggliest Duck in the pond.

    • #57770
      Michael
      Participant

      lol some awesome finds there GLW. Spesh the Granny one.

    • #57775
      glw
      Participant
    • #57759
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]Some more bonfire fuel:

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/GREAT-OLD-70S-ELECTRIC-GUITAR-FOR-REMAKE-99P-NO-RES_W0QQitemZ7415654198QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem[/quote]

      Thats so nasty that I’m actually tempted! You couldn’t do much that would devalue it!

    • #57742
      glw
      Participant
    • #57746
      lee_UK
      Participant

      the strings not missing, it’s just broken, im sure the string can be repaired.

    • #57739
      glw
      Participant

      It’s just a cheapo Strat copy that’s seen better days. It’s not really in the same class as some of the horrors we’ve seen!

    • #57751
      USGold
      Participant

      THIS IS AN ITEM NOT TO BE MISSED

      VERY GOOD CONDITION

      JUST MISSING ONE STRING

      SENSATIONAL GUITAR

      PLAY LIKE THE BEST

      AN ABSOLUTE BEAUTY!!!!!!!

      PICTURES SAY IT ALL

      WONDERFUL COLLECTORS ITEM

      DONT MISS OUT

      #http://xs100.xs.to/xs100/06183/cruddy1.jpg

      #http://xs200.xs.to/xs200/06183/cruddyguitarebay.jpg

      if the head stock is this bad –how do you think the electronics are?—Scott

    • #57755
      glw
      Participant

      Yep! It’s a real Fender. It was an exercise in “How to make a new production model and at the same time use up the old crappy stock that we can’t shift.”

      See also the Fender Musiclander (a.k.a. Fender Arrow):

      #http://www.jmskn.com/FNDRmusiclander60’s.jpg

    • #57784
      1bassleft
      Participant

      If the seller is correct and this is a genuine original, then welcome to Fender hell. My single favourite bit? The fact that Mustang Bass split pups were used to cover the twelve string spread. Please click the links for the full story…

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Vintage-Fender-Custom-Guitar-Neck-Dated-12-Aug-69-B_W0QQitemZ7410783526QQcategoryZ118989QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      #http://i21.ebayimg.com/01/i/06/f6/4f/72_12.JPG
      #http://i24.ebayimg.com/02/i/06/fc/59/92_12.JPG

      😯

    • #57769
      Michael
      Participant

      In regards to Lee’s spelling of Definitely, Stacey finally said to me after about 8 months of me saying “I’ll fix it,” would I like her to just make the correction.

    • #57785
      glw
      Participant

      Fernandes Guitars did a whole range with Star Wars designs. Perhaps I was thinking of those.

    • #57781
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Hmmmm, how much can I say. The “other” Star Wars, glw, was one where we were asked not to be too unkind; apparently spoiling someone’s business. AFAIK, this guitar pair is new to me.

      Lee’s 50k+ certificate is going to be awarded for the worst finish thread; not the worst guitar one. Better start bumping the other thread, Lee 😆

      (EDIT) Just realized that “Definitely” has finally been spelled correctly. Who got a dictionary out over the hols? 😛

    • #57782
      Michael
      Participant

      I was letting Lee get to 50,000 views, then I’m going to print him out a certificate with his name and all. Possibly include that dodgy pic of Jagger on it.

    • #57780
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”USGold”]This forum is getting too long to go through all the time–perhaps it’s time to close it and start a new thread?—Scott[/quote]

      Close my thread?? killed by it’s own success ? how could you even suggest it! 😆

    • #57750
      Michael
      Participant

      They are new Star Wars. All ugly but 🙂

    • #57741
      USGold
      Participant

      This forum is getting too long to go through all the time–perhaps it’s time to close it and start a new thread?—Scott

    • #57767
      glw
      Participant

      Haven’t we already seen those?

      (Or was that just me? I HATE star Wars)

    • #57764
      USGold
      Participant
    • #57766
      USGold
      Participant

      just relinking the picture:
      http://xs77.xs.to/pics/06162/060223guitars.jpg
      hope you dont mind, it didnt come up on your link.
      Lee.

    • #57768
      USGold
      Participant

      I am at work and the controler on the net access won’t let me look at e-aby so I can only guess just how awful this guitar could be by the comments posted. 😥

    • #57786
      lee_UK
      Participant

      So, you go into your friends house and you see this quite nice collection of guitars poking up from behind the sofa.

      #http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/8711/3headedheadsback5fe.jpg
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      ..
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      ..
      Then, you pull back the sofa to reveal the horrible secret, Sid Philips has been busy again..

      #http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/1290/3headedfront5sd.jpg

      Wow.. i spotted this monstosity on BunnyBass, why oh why??

    • #57778
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Tim, I bet the others that you would pop back in. My winnings? A whole, new bass category on Guitarsite.

      Well, slap my G-string and call me Carol Kaye (said in Stephen Fry voice), but it’s up and running (idling, technically, ready for some input).

    • #57758
      Tim
      Participant

      Ahh, so it was all a cunning ploy…

      I get it now, having me on the board makes the rest of you look sober and like you know what you’re talking about. Makes much more sense now.

      Well, happy to oblige 😀

      Tim.

    • #57748
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Good to see you back Tim.

      you see Bass, i told you he would return if we told a few lies…

    • #57753
      Tim
      Participant

      Thanks 1bl, should have broadband soon which will help a lot!
      What are you trying to say about my head?…Just a random (irrelevent) pic, sure it’ll change again soon.

    • #57774
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Wey-hey! Nice to see you again, Tim. Is that avatar a reaction to Fender’s “bowling ball” colour scheme? Nice to have another pleasant plucker back on the site 😀

    • #57773
      Tim
      Participant

      I’m all flattered now and don’t know what to say, erm…

      Even if you have some strange ideas about me! Knowing my stuff for example?! And needing an excuse to hit the bottle, Ha!

      Will try and be more present in future, you’ll just have to ignore my dodgier posts.

      Thanks,

      Tim.

    • #57740
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Old Tim was a good guy too, seemed to know his stuff.

    • #57771
      1bassleft
      Participant

      “Freddie” Flintoff getting BBC Sports Personality of the Year thing. Hard for a Yorkshire guy to take; probably hitting the bottle 😆

      In serious mode, miss his contribs too. Lone bass-player feeling.

    • #57744
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Hey Tim, why dont we hear from you anymore?

    • #57762
      Tim
      Participant

      I like Lee’s W.A.N.K idea…so I was thinking, if 1BL played the M guitar that started this thread and someone played the ‘Flying A’ we’d be half way there…just need N and K now.
      People always talk about the beatles visual impact due to the Paul/George thing, I think W.A.N.K could to take it (down) to a whole new level.

    • #57754
      Tim
      Participant

      Technical problems, sorry…

      “Purple Haze…” Either you’ve read all my other posts and realised that I did indeed cover this in my old band, or…its the colours isn’t it? why is everything I do purple or black?!

      Yes I did delete a picture, it wasn’t guitar pic or anything, (or my carpet, for those obsessed with such things) it was a ‘live, at this moment’ picture of me with a half empty 1litre bottle of whiskey (surrounded by my guitars, of course), all of the missing half litre I had consumed that night so please disregard anything posted by me on Saturday night.

      Tim.

      ps. Whats wrong with Dancing Queen? We’ve all done it. Although when I was at uni I still had my long “I love Kurt” hair, there was this 70’s theme night so I went as the blond chick (young lady) out of ABBA. Had to go to my lecture the next morning in Holographic nail-varnish as I couldn’t get the chuffin stuff off!

    • #57749
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote][/quote]

    • #57743
      glw
      Participant

      …and a pic…

      #http://www.northamericanguitars.com/pix/gtrs/takvac.jpg

      (I quite like it actually, it looks like a Russian balalaika).

    • #57772
      glw
      Participant

      There was the Takamine Flying A, of course.

      It was originally supposed to be an acoustic Flying V, but Gibson objected to the name, so they called it an A instead.

    • #57752
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Maybe one day he will get ‘W’ then an ‘A’ then maybe a ‘N’ then of course a ‘K’ would look good, then a …. i think you can see where im going with this.

    • #57757
      glw
      Participant

      Actually, that’s a different guitar in the small right-hand photo. Look at the tail of the Q.

    • #57777
      lee_UK
      Participant

      im er, speechless, the bass player in the right hand photo looks like hes ready to catch him.

    • #57737
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Reminds me of the “biscuit tin” guitar Lee also spotted on eBay. My favourite bit is in the 2nd photo. Fee was often complaining that his “QUAY” glasses had become magnetized. Here he can be seen stuck to his SM58 for 45 minutes before someone noticed. It took three roadies to pull him off. … and another roadie to remove the mic from his forehead…

    • #57760
      glw
      Participant

      Looking back at the one that started it all, the hideous MTV guitar, I’m reminded of the Q guitar as used by Fee Waybill (as Quay Lude) of The Tubes.

      I’m not sure if it was a real guitar, or just a prop.

    • #57756
      glw
      Participant

      The seller is probably really proud of that guitar.

      It is vile, isn’t it?

    • #57776
      1bassleft
      Participant

      OK, here’s an ugly for you… Now, I’m not the biggest fan of the JCM900, but I was certainly relieved to read in this auction (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Marshall-JCM-900-SL-X-100-watts-of-pure-valve-TONE_W0QQitemZ7360665397QQcategoryZ10171QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) that “this auction is for Marshall amp only. Not guitar.”

      #http://i9.ebayimg.com/01/i/04/db/92/65_1_b.JPG

      😯 Thank goodness for that, then

    • #57711
      lee_UK
      Participant

      A wise move Tim, people will start scrutinising your carpet trying to work out if its pure new wool, or the inferior 80% wool and 20% polyester, or indeed the cheaper alternative foam back, and that would just be the start of it.

      Im an 80 – 20 man myself..

    • #57720
      Michael
      Participant

      Tim, you removed your pic eh? the things we do when we are drunk. Like dance and sing to dancing queen in front of 80 people. Jesus.

    • #57708
      glw
      Participant

      You weren’t playing “Purple Haze” by any chance, were you?

      I’ll go get my coat…

    • #57730
      Tim
      Participant

      This any better? Even if it was taken on a “camera” phone 😡

    • #57715
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]BTW, Tim, I much prefer your previous avatar. Always thought the close-up was coolio. The “that’s me behind the PA stack” pic is the kind of bassist image I try to play down :)[/quote]

      Fair point, I was bored of the old one but I’ll see what I can do…

      I really don’t think your explanation of the rubber suit improved the whole mental image but it has certainly eclipsed the tennis, in my mind at least. 😆

      Tim.

      EDITED: to remove drunken waste of bandwidth.

    • #57727
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]

      Anyhoo, here’s another nasty guitar:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ONE-OF-A-KIND-BASS-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ7360048326QQcategoryZ4713QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      I knew that the title “one of a kind bass” was going to lead to something good. Do click on it. The Westone Thunder 1 was never pleasant when left stock, but this is a right nightmare. Toss up between a “worst guitar” or “worst finish” thread. Read the auction description. Truly eye-opening.[/quote]

      Great spot Bass, this guitar just looks so sorry for itself, even the headstock has been butchered, it looks like it’s had a crop top, this isnt a guitar anymore, its just another statistic, shame to see them go like this.. 😆

    • #57700
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Well the old rubber suit is dual-purpose. Protects me from dodgy old “homemade” valve amps but, just in case there’s a pair of Mullards or a quad of GEC KT tubes inside, it contains any spontaneous emissions.

      There, I’ve given some more ammunition to Mike and Lee and the “tennis” stuff will be long dead by the time they use this one up. 🙂

      BTW, Tim, I much prefer your previous avatar. Always thought the close-up was coolio. The “that’s me behind the PA stack” pic is the kind of bassist image I try to play down 🙂

    • #57701
      Tim
      Participant

      I’m in a sarcastic mood, I’ll shut up now 😀

    • #57716
      Tim
      Participant

      I don’t know why you’re all so hard on the one-of-a-kind bass, especially as it seems he replaced the angle-grinder disk specifically to perform these ‘improvements’.

    • #57724
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Nice, new Avatar, Mike. Is it Hasselhoff? Lee, here’s a real “biscuit-tin” valve amp 🙂
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/TRIX-VINTAGE-VALVE-GUITAR-AMPLIFIER-NO-RESERVE_W0QQitemZ7360326326QQcategoryZ10171QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      This one has me reaching for my full rubber suit as soon as look at it. No, nothing to do with any sexual pecadilloes I may have – just wouldn’t want to touch it while plugged in. Probably sounds awful, too.[/quote]

      So you do have a ‘full rubber suit’ ready to ‘reach for’ at the drop of an (electically lethal) hat…?

      I have PVC trousers but thats about it, and they’re baggy leather effect not crotch-cooking fetish ones (with the oddly placed zips)

    • #57721
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Nice, new Avatar, Mike. Is it Hasselhoff? Lee, here’s a real “biscuit-tin” valve amp 🙂
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/TRIX-VINTAGE-VALVE-GUITAR-AMPLIFIER-NO-RESERVE_W0QQitemZ7360326326QQcategoryZ10171QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      This one has me reaching for my full rubber suit as soon as look at it. No, nothing to do with any sexual pecadilloes I may have – just wouldn’t want to touch it while plugged in. Probably sounds awful, too.[/quote]

      i wonder what it was built for?

    • #57692
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]The Westone Thunder 1 was never pleasant when left stock, but this is a right nightmare.[/quote]

      I used to have a Westone Thunder I-A fretless bass and it was fantastic. I’ll agree that it was ugly, but the quality of the build and the sound and playability were top notch.

      I always regretted selling that one. Years later I wanted another fretless bass, so I ended up with a mexican Fender Jazz. It was ghastly compared with my old Westone. I traded that in earlier this year and bought a lovely through-neck fretless bass made by “Mania” (who?).

    • #57722
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Nice, new Avatar, Mike. Is it Hasselhoff? Lee, here’s a real “biscuit-tin” valve amp 🙂
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/TRIX-VINTAGE-VALVE-GUITAR-AMPLIFIER-NO-RESERVE_W0QQitemZ7360326326QQcategoryZ10171QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      This one has me reaching for my full rubber suit as soon as look at it. No, nothing to do with any sexual pecadilloes I may have – just wouldn’t want to touch it while plugged in. Probably sounds awful, too.

    • #57689
      Michael
      Participant

      Hard choice of “worst” threads I agree 1b. It reminds me of that hideous gold leaf foil shite they use on changing rooms every week, only slightly worse. Anyone who can find a guitar covered in gold leaf foil… well I’ll be damnned. You would deserve something.

    • #57688
      1bassleft
      Participant

      All for a good cause, but the stock SG would probably fetch more. Interesting use of chewed “Hubba-Bubba” for the breat cancer ribbon.

      Now, seeing as it’s OK for us to disagree, I rather like the idea of that amp; in fact, I’ll mark it, seeing as shipping to Europe is pretty reasonable. I think it could go for a few bucks, though. I know, that chassis has to be the weirdest ever (I love how the transformer is secured to what looks like a garden-fence locking hinge) and there’s some odd glassware in there. I’ve never even heard of a 35C4 rectumfrier and it might be tricky getting hold of 35C5 power tubes. Still, oddball stuff like those 7-pin tubes do appear on Fleeb and sell for donuts because nobody can use them. Makes a nice change from EL34/6CA7s, which always cost a bomb when made by the old UK/US makes. It’s all Sylvania blackplates and Tung-Sol in there. Those elliptical speakers can work fine, too. Never heard a Utah, but ’60s Brit amps like Bird used ellipticals to reasonable effect.

      Anyhoo, here’s another nasty guitar:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ONE-OF-A-KIND-BASS-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ7360048326QQcategoryZ4713QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      I knew that the title “one of a kind bass” was going to lead to something good. Do click on it. The Westone Thunder 1 was never pleasant when left stock, but this is a right nightmare. Toss up between a “worst guitar” or “worst finish” thread. Read the auction description. Truly eye-opening.

    • #57736
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Point taken, ive seen a few people on here talk quite fondly about Kay guitars and i respect their opinions, but those Kays from woolies were in a world of their own.
      Now pass me my box of matches…. please.

    • #57687
      glw
      Participant

      Later Kay’s were often just “badged” guitars – cheap and nasty ones at that. Some of the earlier Kays are not so easily dismissed.

    • #57717
      lee_UK
      Participant

      How could you even consider a Framus on the same level as a Kay?? Kays are urgh, and yuck, and arrgh, ask any guitar tech what can be done to improve the Kays tone and you will soon hear the sound of the dynamite being prepped.

    • #57718
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]this is the kind of guitar that needs burning, this is the kind of rubbish we were forced to use when i was 12-14 yrs old, its unbeleivably bad, there are a few things wrong with this example, look at the nut, nice angle, machine heads all in one peice, the strap button on the wrong horn, he describes it as ‘sold as is’ in other words it might work but the sound is apalling, he also says 1960’s, i think its mid 70’s, they used to retail for £45 NEW AND HES GOT THIS ONE UP FOR £50 !! this thing should have been crushed and shredded..

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/A-5th-Short-Scale-guitar-PROJECT-Buy-It-Now-For-50-00_W0QQitemZ7358235813QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem%5B/quote%5D

      Now thats scary, the Audition guitar I mentioned in answer to the ‘Who’s ever smashed a guitar” question was the same as that guitar, I’m sure off it! its round here some where, my studios a mess but I’m sure its the same…and to think people keep recommending I replace my Framus with a Kay! My friend thought it was a Kay!!! must give him a slappin’

    • #57699
      lee_UK
      Participant

      there are some very disturbed people in those hills, and by the looks of it they now have a dial-up PC with access to ebay, what next?

    • #57728
      Michael
      Participant

      haha, notice those white stains on the floor? they are remaking ‘The hills have eyes’… but the image I had was of Leatherface wielding that menacing lump instead of his chainsaw.

    • #57725
      lee_UK
      Participant

      what i want to know is, what is under the sheet? on 2nd thoughts best leave that one alone. and what the hell location is that? Oelwein, IA?? iowa? who remembers ‘the hills have eyes’?

    • #57726
      glw
      Participant

      [quote]Have a look at this one, 3 strings? check the frets, it looks more like a murder weapon !
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/3-STRING-HOME-MADE-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ7359764752QQcategoryZ621QQssPageNameZWD2VQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem%5B/quote%5D

      Errr… it’s just a plank of wood isn’t it?

    • #57723
      glw
      Participant

      I hear ya! Those old “Woolworths” Kay guitars were dreadful, unplayable things.

      Save some matches and firelighters for me!

    • #57696
      lee_UK
      Participant

      this is the kind of guitar that needs burning, this is the kind of rubbish we were forced to use when i was 12-14 yrs old, its unbeleivably bad, there are a few things wrong with this example, look at the nut, nice angle, machine heads all in one peice, the strap button on the wrong horn, he describes it as ‘sold as is’ in other words it might work but the sound is apalling, he also says 1960’s, i think its mid 70’s, they used to retail for £45 NEW AND HES GOT THIS ONE UP FOR £50 !! this thing should have been crushed and shredded..

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/A-5th-Short-Scale-guitar-PROJECT-Buy-It-Now-For-50-00_W0QQitemZ7358235813QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #57698
      lee_UK
      Participant

      not sure where to put this one, it could have gone to several threads, the ‘Artist’ has even painted the strings, a real quality job.
      http://cgi.liveauctions.ebay.com/242-MELISSA-ETHERIDGE-SIGNED-CUSTOMIZED-GUITAR_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQcategoryZ52982QQitemZ6565194335QQrdZ1QQsspagenameZWD2V

    • #57735
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57734
      lee_UK
      Participant

      the date was of course a rough estimate, i remember it was a while ago, i gave up smoking around 10 yrs ago too, but couldnt give you the date, and its not me that keeps bringing up the tennis, its MIKE !! check the posts, and we do have new members on here all the time who love to hear the story, so blame Mike the rotweiller.

      Have a look at this one, 3 strings? check the frets, it looks more like a murder weapon !
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/3-STRING-HOME-MADE-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ7359764752QQcategoryZ621QQssPageNameZWD2VQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #57694
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Mint Aero it appears. Lee, you’re a good bloke and all that, but there’s something scary about you knowing exactly (to the day) when you last ate a choccy. An amateur psychologist I know checked through your posts. He reckons you might be the type to exaggerate the failings of someone you may have some rivalry with, eg cranking-up some old tennis story that really ought to have died a death by now.

      Apparently, it’s therapeutic to just let go (to me, anyhow). I live in hope, rather than expectation 🙂

    • #57713
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so somebody asked for this:
      #http://homepage.mac.com/bigvelvetdog/gallery/artists/Resources/dvc016.jpeg

      Shouldn’t really be in this thread, CW knows his chisels, but some people ask for ‘eccentric’ things.[/quote]

      Again i like this one Bass, it looks like a dreamy Aero chocolate bar, the colours are scrummy looking, not that i can eat chocolate, i have an alergy to it, not eaten any for 22 years 4 months 3 days.
      And i dont miss it. 😆

    • #57695
      glw
      Participant

      Ah, they nicked that idea from the late great Tony Zemaitis.

    • #57710
      Michael
      Participant

      Xmas lights eh.

      Speaking of hearts, these are all over eBay lately and according to my google search, every discount supermarket from here to Sweden.

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/loveguitar.jpg

    • #57690
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so somebody asked for this:
      #http://homepage.mac.com/bigvelvetdog/gallery/artists/Resources/dvc016.jpeg

      Shouldn’t really be in this thread, CW knows his chisels, but some people ask for ‘eccentric’ things.

    • #57702
      Michael
      Participant

      Buy the love heart one off that page 1b and play it outside your bedroom window next Valentines day. Quickest way to a womans heart is with a soft pink love heart guitar.

    • #57732
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I was wondering when the Vai-flame would come up. Christopher Woods (a one-time poster here and a chap who’s made a bass body for me) does them and, indeed, anything else imaginable. Some people’s ideas are a bit weird.
      http://homepage.mac.com/bigvelvetdog/home.html

    • #57691
      Michael
      Participant

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/flamer.jpg

      because i know how many flame fans there is here.

    • #57712
      Michael
      Participant

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/queen.jpg

      I have that on an iron-on transfer t-shirt.

    • #57729
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Any reply to that Mike? or are you going to let these 2 take a bash at the Homeland? dont forget that you are truley a Brit too, you can deny it all you want, but it was only 200 years ago, 3 generations, not that far back.

      I bet you still secretly sing our national anthem too.

    • #57707
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Gather so, glw. The Aussies think they’re a serious band. Tim Brooke-Taylor’s waistcoat was no worse than Michael Hutchence’s choice of Damart thermal T-shirt. I thought it was sunny in the Antipodes?

    • #57705
      glw
      Participant

      I remember all those too! (OK, I’ve got the DVDs as well, but Ssssssshhhh…)

      I heard that they’d got back together and were touring Australia.

    • #57714
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Lee, I’m old enough to remember the white moggie clambering the GPO tower 😆 . My elder brothers even had The Goodies’ album. “Bunfight at the OK Tearoom” and “Wild Thing” with the screaming, fainting coppers. Might overtake Hawkwind in my “top bands of the 60s/70s” thread post.:)

    • #57733
      glw
      Participant

      Hey, that cat is the biggest fan of my guitar playing!

    • #57709
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]Ah, but to be fair those kind of guitars aren’t designed to be lookers, are they? They are designed to be compact. (A bit like the Traveler that can be seen in my photo here on the left – it’s an ugly guitar but it’s a goody!)[/quote]

      goody? dont mention a goody with that giant cat sitting on your AC30 !

    • #57706
      1bassleft
      Participant

      It reminds me a little of the Aria Sinsonido. BTW, has anyone seen those “Wishbass” things on eBay? No truss rod, made out of whatever flotsam not actually smokeable, yeeeurgh jobs.

    • #57697
      glw
      Participant

      Ah, but to be fair those kind of guitars aren’t designed to be lookers, are they? They are designed to be compact. (A bit like the Traveler that can be seen in my photo here on the left – it’s an ugly guitar but it’s a goody!)

    • #57693
      Michael
      Participant

      haha well yeah your first were right, but yes, it was the truely beautiful trumpet 😀

    • #57704
      lee_UK
      Participant

      where do i start? the optimistic £2.20 starting bid? New? Top quality? Silent? Innovative? Favourable? Play it on a stage? Publicly? ahhhh just got it, it’s this one isnt it?

      ‘This is truly a beautiful trumpet the picture does not do its justice.
      You will love the look and the wonderful sound of this piece.’

      ‘Trumpet my arse’ Jim Royle – on setee, picking nose, 1999. 😆

    • #57703
      Michael
      Participant
    • #57719
      lee_UK
      Participant

      One of John Mayals??

    • #57731
      Michael
      Participant
    • #57640
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Your back in my OK books after that post/thread demotion, it was a very decent thing to do my friend.. 😮

    • #57649
      Michael
      Participant

      haha… not much on me but. It’s not as good as A-Ha or the Serve King.

    • #57686
      lee_UK
      Participant

      No thats Brisbane…oh sorry i could’nt resist that one, it was like the last cream bun on a plate full of Ice Fingers… sorry Mike 😆

    • #57653
      Michael
      Participant

      Is RateMyAxe becoming the dumping ground of the ugly?

    • #57685
      lee_UK
      Participant

      this one is so bad even the strings jumped ship 😆

      http://www.ratemyaxe.com/details.php?image_id=123

      and i think the frets followed close behind..

    • #57643
      1bassleft
      Participant

      That Dick doesn’t look like a Greco copy I saw once. The Greco was a bolt on, but very subtly done. I do remember a Shaftesbury around ’79 not at all sounding like a Rick. I don’t think much effort was made to replicate the toasters. The Ibanez/Greco ones may be a different story. Fuji Gen-Gakki had cloning to a fine art.

    • #57674
      lee_UK
      Participant

      i wonder if it sounds anything like a Rickenbacker? looks quite close, as Keef Richards once said, ‘The eyes are the whores of the body’ , if it looks good, and its nice and shiny..

    • #57638
      glw
      Participant

      Ugh!

      What a horrible thing to do to a poor unsuspecting bass guitar!

    • #57637
      Michael
      Participant

      Ahhhh Dickenbacker, yes I see it.

      ” 2) The bass having no logo, I have endeavoured to write the name “Dickenbacker” in my best felt pen.” 😆 c’mon

    • #57684
      1bassleft
      Participant

      That “not Fender, Marshall, Vox” thing really bugs me, yes. Especially when it’s a Crate that’s turned up in the search. TBF to the Fleeb, they do periodically stamp it out. They’re not as quick as the suits at Rickenbacker, though. Catch it while you can, there is a listing on FleebUK for a “not Rickenbacker but Dickenbacker” copy. I give it 48hrs max before it’s pulled.

      And, on the ‘not all 70s Jap guitars are good’ theme, I noticed a Jazz bass copy made by Avon. Really comical square tins meant to look like HBs but are single coils. Nasty.

    • #57680
      lee_UK
      Participant

      looks like he ran out of black paint when he was spraying the back of the neck, and i like the black paint on the tuners, always a nice touch, why bother taking them off? just spray right over them, a true monster, nicely spotted Bass.

    • #57682
      Michael
      Participant

      Stevie Wonder blindfolded could tell it had been customised.

      Speaking of his eBay listing… does the inclusion of unwarranted “keywords” in the item name piss you off?

    • #57658
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Sorry to go back to topic, but look at this thing, which has (IMHO) already exceeded its value. My favourite bit is the seller’s text, “On close inspection, it looks like it has been customised…”

      #http://i16.ebayimg.com/02/i/05/19/30/4a_1_b.JPG
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/CUSTOM-ELECTRIC-BASS-GUITAR-TEMPEST-Strat-Fender-Gibson_W0QQitemZ7356032700QQcategoryZ4713QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem (with more pics)

      How close an inspection was needed? Mr Magoo looking out of a passing 747 spotted that one.

    • #57656
      lee_UK
      Participant

      So its where you live that counts? or where your parents were born? oh what does it matter, i suppose it’s in the heart, i know a few 2nd generation English asian’s that still support India over England in the cricket, they still feel closer to India than they do to England, I have a lot of respect for anyone who feels a passion for his ancestory, i wish i could trace mine back, i could be Celt, Roman, Viking, Anglo Saxon, Norman, who knows?
      By the way glad to see the nut problem cleared up!

    • #57660
      glw
      Participant

      OK, if a bunch of people went in a rocket to Mars, and whilst there somone gave birth, would that make the baby a Martian?

      (OK, to the brain dead newspapers it probably would for the sake of headlines, etc, but I’m talking about in reality…)

    • #57667
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]It’s irrelevant where you are born. I have cousins who were born in Germany but they are not Germans.[/quote]

      thats quite interesting concept, how about expanding on it a little?

    • #57675
      glw
      Participant

      It’s irrelevant where you are born. I have cousins who were born in Germany but they are not Germans.

    • #57650
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Is this some kind of weird pun on “The Angles are all over the place”?

      I’m Anglo-Norman, so that makes me “The English Incontinent” I suppose; but this thread’s going barmy.

    • #57677
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”][quote=”glw”]I’m Welsh.[/quote]

      By which I mean I’m not English.[/quote]

      by the powers of deduction, i had gathered that, in the same way an Irishman is an Irishman, a Scotsman is a Scotsman and a Welshman a Welshman, but a Northerner is still an Englishman, so long as he was born in England, of course if he was born in Wales he would be a Welshman living in England, Unless of course he was born in England works and lives in England but his Parents and/or Grandparents were Welsh in which case he would be English but he would have the option (Should he be good enough) to play football or rugby or any other sport for England or Wales, but not Scotland, or Ireland.

    • #57641
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]I’m Welsh.[/quote]

      By which I mean I’m not English.

    • #57683
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Im English.

    • #57669
      Tim
      Participant

      I’m Northern.

    • #57659
      glw
      Participant

      I’m Welsh.

    • #57642
      lee_UK
      Participant

      it’s not you, the angles are all over the place, Tommy Walsh would have a fit if he ran his spirit level over it! oh no.
      it looks very odd, but why do we love to criticise other peoples poor efforts? it only seems to be us ‘English’ (Bass, do we count you as English, Northern, or just European?? ) that start this kind of thread off?, I for one love to see a home made disaster !

    • #57651
      glw
      Participant

      Is it my imagination or is that V not even symmetrical? The lower pointy bit looks narrower than the upper.

    • #57681
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The scratchplate was listed as vinyl (nothing wrong with that, many are) but I suspect, in this case “vinyl as in linoleum”. A well thought-out job of making it follow the line of the stoptail, don’t you think? As Lee says, it has “handheld Stanley knife” written all over it.

    • #57639
      lee_UK
      Participant

      That ‘V’ is never going to make £190, its not even worth the postage, the scratchplate doesnt look even where it follows the body shape, Ive asked him to post a pic of the headstock, he says move forces sale, looks like he’s going to France, maybe the French wont let it in the country!

    • #57661
      glw
      Participant

      Yeah, I think Lee is right – that MTV effort has got to be the “Worst Guitar Ever”.

      However, it’s quite fun finding pictures for this chamber of horrors.

      This Penta Systems Pentasitar must surely qualify for Most Ludicrous Guitar Ever, surely:

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/pentasitar.jpg

      As seen on eBay recently – http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=+7353941812

    • #57647
      glw
      Participant

      Why does the seller not show us the headstock? What is he trying to hide?

    • #57657
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Not in the same league, but check out this Flying V custom:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Custom-Built-Flying-Vee_W0QQitemZ7355178931QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      The body is sapele (the same wood as used in your interior doors) and check out that yummy pickup selection…

      #http://i12.ebayimg.com/03/i/05/17/93/6e_1_b.JPG

    • #57645
      lee_UK
      Participant

      heres a re-post of the guitar that started it all off, the Axe that launced a thousand veiws…

      #http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/7318/mtvguitarf112sb20wt.jpg
      Notice the screws holding the neck to the body, why use 4? when 2 will do..
      #http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/1061/mtvguitarf112sb33ac.jpg
      #http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/6991/mtvguitarf112sb1nq.jpg
      so, there she is guys, the MDF pink MTV cringer. The worst guitar ever made, a dodgy Kramer neck, bolted on to an MDF body with the triple naf MTV sign as its inspiration, but to top it all the guy installs a single coil Telecaster pickup for that heavy rock sound!! more like thin and weedy and country picking tones there.
      But i think we can saftely say that i have indeed won first prize for this best effort, i even got the guy that bought it to chirp in with a reply.
      All adds up to a gold medal i think… 😆 Roll the Union jack, and national anthem…. god save our gracious queen..

    • #57665
      glw
      Participant

      I didn’t like it either, but if someone can make music with one, then good luck to them!

    • #57652
      italos
      Participant

      Well never played with one but i already hate it…Call me out of fashion and dull but i will always love the good ol’ guitar with the strings and the frets and tunings and settings even the noise from the cable and the millions of euros spent for buying accessories and effects

    • #57672
      glw
      Participant

      It’s basically the guts of a home keyboard built into a guitar-like package. If that makes sense.

      It has drum rhythms and pre-set synth sounds that you would expect to find on low-end keyboards. Also note the built-in speake. You play it by plucking the strings and fretting it as you would a regular guitar, although the left-hand information is actually picked up by the instrument through switches underneath the rubber fretboard.

      They had the cheek to market it as a digital guitar!

    • #57663
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]How about this one, for old times sake!

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Casio-DG-10-Digital-Guitar_W0QQitemZ7352306884QQcategoryZ621QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem%5B/quote%5D
      Well what IS that?Not for the uglyness(it is ugly), but for the thing itself….i’ve never seen something like that, does it really make a sound?I only know the typical classic ol’guitar with the keys and staff.How does this thing work?

    • #57679
      glw
      Participant

      Worse than that, I even tried one out when they were originally released. This was at the British Music Fair (or whatever it was called) that they used to hold at Earl’s Court, quite a few years ago.

      Anyway, it was a horrible plastic box, with plastic strings and switches beneath a rubber fretboard. Scary stuff indeed.

    • #57662
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Great hit, glw. I’ve even seen this thing played onstage, alongside a keyboard player with a k/b on a shoulder strap. I think he (k/b guy) may even have had a mouthpiece for a “Stevie Wonder” synth-harmonica thing. I definitely remember the drummer had Simmons “Doop-doop-doo-doobydooby-doo” electronic pads.

      That was a late ’80s experience I’d comfortably buried deep in my head. Thanks for bringing it back up again just before bedtime… 🙁

    • #57670
      glw
      Participant

      I’ve actually seen a band (several times) who use one of these live.

      I’ve also seen a busker with one in Swindon (quite a few years ago now), but that’s Swindon for you.

    • #57671
      lee_UK
      Participant

      well spotted glw, nice to see a well made plastic guitar, did people actualy take these things seriously? doesnt even have MIDI, whats the point in owning it? 15,000 were made and only this one was bought.

    • #57646
      glw
      Participant
    • #57655
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I love this quote from the auction;
      [quote]IT IS A BIT OFF A PROJECT[/quote]

      could be a typo error, could be a pun, could be any number of legal getout clauses.

    • #57664
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]I have a very clear image of the band that uses that[/quote]

      Me too…they’re all ten years old for a start

    • #57668
      lee_UK
      Participant

      It went for £81, a broken eyesore of a guitar, crazy. 😕

    • #57673
      Michael
      Participant

      I have a very clear image of the band that uses that

    • #57648
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57654
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”][quote=”lee_UK”]looks like 2 gordon smiths welded together, did you check out angelos 4 way guitar?? the QUAD..
      http://www.angelo.com/the_quad_guitar.html%5B/quote%5D

      Yes, I have seen this. Unfortunately.

      John Otway’s double Gordon Smith was hinged and he used to make it flap by waggling the necks![/quote]

      A lot of what i say about Angelo is tongue in cheek, to be honest ive seen him play at a guitar convention and thought he was very ‘clever’ kind belonged more in a circus than on stage widdling, but after 2 mins of his first song (solo) i switched off, lost focus and went off in search of free Elixir strings. and i got 6 sets!! each set lasts longer than a Angelo solo.. (1 year) 😆

    • #57676
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]Angelo lives by the motto – The bigger the guitar.. the bigger the…[/quote]

      Hairpeice? 😆

    • #57666
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]looks like 2 gordon smiths welded together, did you check out angelos 4 way guitar?? the QUAD..
      http://www.angelo.com/the_quad_guitar.html%5B/quote%5D

      Yes, I have seen this. Unfortunately.

      John Otway’s double Gordon Smith was hinged and he used to make it flap by waggling the necks!

    • #57678
      Michael
      Participant

      Angelo lives by the motto – The bigger the guitar.. the bigger the…

    • #57644
      lee_UK
      Participant

      looks like 2 gordon smiths welded together, did you check out angelos 4 way guitar?? the QUAD..
      http://www.angelo.com/the_quad_guitar.html

    • #57590
      glw
      Participant

      Anyway, I was telling you about John Otway. He’s had this guitar for at least 25 years to my knowledge. I’m telling you, that Michael Angelo clown ripped him off!
      #http://www.empirestatehuman.co.uk/blog/ambi.jpg#http://www.feenstra.co.uk/bands/johnotway/2002-05-17-otway-last.jpg
      #http://www.towncrier.org.uk/travel/IMG/monfest04/John-Otway-with-ears.jpg

    • #57620
      glw
      Participant

      No, that’s actually what the model is supposed to look like. These guitars usually go for quite good money.

      I believe this guitar was known as the Austin Hatchet in the USA.

    • #57635
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #57618
      lee_UK
      Participant

      How can you dis Michael Angelo and his furry ferret? 😆

    • #57600
      glw
      Participant

      Michael Angelo stole that idea from John Otway.

    • #57633
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Maybe Michael Angelo has the answers.. 😆

    • #57626
      glw
      Participant

      The only use I can see for that guitar is for a comedy act.

    • #57632
      lee_UK
      Participant

      What the hell is that? to think someone actualy thought that through, and then went and did it, it beggars belief, its got to be the most absurd, useless guitar ive ever seen, keep it up GLW. 😆

    • #57593
      Michael
      Participant

      😆 just needs another 60 or so strings…

    • #57628
      glw
      Participant

      Hey – it’s an acoustic String Station!

    • #57627
      1bassleft
      Participant

      glw, where do you find them? 😆 , that’s a great one. If it’s for sale, I suggest guitarsite purchases it and puts it up for the Grand Prize in celebrity multi-neck Pro Wrestling. I’ve got round one as Jimmy Page vs Mike Rutherford. Anyone care to suggest some future bouts?

    • #57629
      glw
      Participant
    • #57619
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😆 Best of all, there are three unused polepieces for whacking your spoons on. Altogether now…

      “My old man’s a dustman/ he wears a dustman’s hat/ he wears Cor Blimey! trousers/ and he lives in a council flat”

      Tumbleweed, bell clangs, wind whistles silently… 😳

    • #57617
      lee_UK
      Participant

      take a biscuit tin a lump of wood, 3 tuners, 3 strings (all same size) a standard strat pickup without the cover, go down to your shed at the bottom of the garden for half a day, and then emerge into the sunlight with this little baby, what a result, he realy rang the bell with this one.

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2384&item=7333116239&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

    • #57614
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]there are a number of Fender-stinkers of the 70s. Also, I checked a 70s Ric 4001 that was no great shakes either.

      I’ll batten down the hatches now.[/quote]

      Fender Stinkers?? Dodgy Rickys?? yeah you are probably right, who remembers the Fender Bullet? i had a Jap copy Telecaster from 1979, it was a Maya, my parents bought it for my 14th birthday and it was great, i also remember it cost £180 at the time, whilst the Fender was £600+ and the quality between the 2 was’nt that great. A lot of the jap stuff from around that period was very good, and like Bass says, a fair bit of the Fender stuff was a bit disapointing.

    • #57611
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Does anybody remember Sutton? Is it still there 😛 ? Plymouth Sutton ❓

      Anyhoo, worth remembering that a lot of 1970s guitars were not great, even though prices now are getting silly. OK, there were some nasty planks from SE Asia, but there was a lot of duff Fender product, too.

      I started playing in the late 70s/early 80s and a lot of seasoned vets warned me off then current Fenders (some didn’t like the Gibsons of that era, but I can’t comment) and told me I’d be better spending money on a Tokai. They were right. In the 90s, I tried out a 1970s Jazz (not the block-marker type) bass and it was shocking. I kept my £300 firmly in my wallet. Last year, a friend asked a “Whaddaya think?” on another 70s Jazz on Fleeb around £1000. I pointed out the clearly visible 5mm or so of neck pocket wood hanging around, getting in the way.

      Not saying they were all bad (I fancy getting a good one), but be careful; there are a number of Fender-stinkers of the 70s. Also, I checked a 70s Ric 4001 that was no great shakes either.

      I’ll batten down the hatches now.

    • #57603
      lee_UK
      Participant

      How can someone put it up for sale on ebay? in those days (mid-late 70’s) if a guitar cost £100 new, then you knew that £95 of that budget was spent on making the thing look good, but in this case they didnt even do that!, anybody remember the Bell music shop in Sutton, i think it’s still there, they used to produce a catalogue which featured some top end Guitars, but also some bottom end stuff like this too.

    • #57622
      1bassleft
      Participant

      But if you’re still wondering why I rated Hondo slightly above Satellite, check this bass out:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=4713&item=7328348154&rd=1

      mmm, quality bridge. Love those “Jazzmaster” selectors. Only £20 starting bid. Somebody stop me, can’t… resist… clicking… 😛

    • #57624
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Just to feed your love of Hondos, Lee, take a look at this one:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2384&item=7328139915&rd=1

      It’s a later one. Look at that neckplate positioning; precision engineering, isn’t it? I doubt if they could spell or pronounce parallel; they sure as heck couldn’t drill it 🙄

    • #57625
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Hey thrill-seekers, buy those quality axes – you won’t regret it! 😛 Believe it or not, those two were considerably up on quality from my “Fame” Hondo bass. The Strat does look like a solid wood (the bass was ply) and is that LP a thru-neck? Looks very 80s.

      Atchly, the Satellite you listed earlier brought even older memories. I bought my very first electric in 1978. It was a Satellite, and could be called a “Strat copy” in the same way that my drawing of Liz II’s head could be called “a forged British banknote”. Absolutely terrible guitar, the Satellite, but a fine egg-slicer. Just push the hard-boiled in the considerable gap ‘twixt fretboard and strings and hey presto! Instant sandwich filling.

      Unlike the new Hondo bass, which cost me some £140 (the shop owner wore a black beret, eyemask and carried a bag over his shoulder with the legend, “Swag”), the Satellite I bought s/h for £18. It also came with some old Jim Dunlop Cry-Baby Wah pedal. I was delighted to sell this for £10 to a guitarist, keeping the much more valuable guitar for a net £8. Boy, did I think I’d diddled that guitarist 😳

    • #57621
      lee_UK
      Participant

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2384&item=7326876558&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

      thought i’d post that link for Bass

      or maybe

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2384&item=7326819006&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

      The Strat is described as ‘Wood look’ which sounds like it’s been made by ‘Courts’ the ex furniture retailer rather than a guitar company, there are a few things wrong with it, (the jack plug socket is a nice touch, and the replacment pickup and tone knobs in odd colours looks kind ok) mainly the name on the headstock, but i thought it was a trip down memory lane for Bass.

    • #57589
      Michael
      Participant

      Looks like the Rod Stewart designed guitar I took a jab at in GNW. This ones slightly better but.

    • #57595
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Doesnt come close to the black dragon lords beast, but still in need of a tin of lighter fuel, some good tinder, a box of matches and a prayer book.

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2384&item=7326582900&rd=1

      in the discription he says ‘too good to break for parts,needs a little TLC’ ??uh? not too good to bury though. 😆

    • #57602
      Michael
      Participant

      😆 thanks for the legwork Lee bringing us the full goss on that beast.

      Heck knows why he couldn’t register here but, I just tested, all fine.

    • #57594
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]Black_Dragon_lord is currently the highest bidder on the MTV Wondorous guitar with a bid of $70+ australian, i have on behalf of the Forum extended the warm hand of friendship to the ‘Black dragon lord’ and asked for him to give us his words of wisdom, on what has made him bid a very tidy sum for a very untidy guitar, so hopefuly we may see him on here very soon, as for the guitar? well it still seems as absurd as the first day i saw it, a very sad sight indeed, i can only assume that the black lord has misbid and was aiming at a very nice USA ‘Big Muff’ (very tasty)which is 2 numbers away from the ebay auction number on the MTV eyesore.

      The things people do with some spare time, a sheet of MDF, a jigsaw, and a tin of mama’s pink possum bathroom paint.[/quote]

      the black dragon lord has sent me this e-mail (problems loggin on) and has asked me to pass it on to the masses. Here it is, unedited..

      “hey Lee.

      I can’t seem to register on guitarsite, so can u post my comments for me.

      It is the most hilarious and stupid thing I have ever seen it. It
      definently needs to be hanging on my rehearsal room wall. I was also
      considering giving it to a friend for his birthday, he would appreciate to
      humour and then punch me for giving him such a stupid present.

      Thanks in Laughter
      Luke. “

      Peace and love.
      😀

    • #57610
      lee_UK
      Participant

      ‘M’ for mark? maybe sting had a poke at it too.

    • #57587
      fretboard
      Member

      I was thinking maybe 🙄 it was Mark Knoppler bidding on this one of a kind treasure(?)

    • #57596
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Black_Dragon_lord is currently the highest bidder on the MTV Wondorous guitar with a bid of $70+ australian, i have on behalf of the Forum extended the warm hand of friendship to the ‘Black dragon lord’ and asked for him to give us his words of wisdom, on what has made him bid a very tidy sum for a very untidy guitar, so hopefuly we may see him on here very soon, as for the guitar? well it still seems as absurd as the first day i saw it, a very sad sight indeed, i can only assume that the black lord has misbid and was aiming at a very nice USA ‘Big Muff’ (very tasty)which is 2 numbers away from the ebay auction number on the MTV eyesore.

      The things people do with some spare time, a sheet of MDF, a jigsaw, and a tin of mama’s pink possum bathroom paint.

    • #57608
      crazybri311
      Participant

      pee pee

    • #57588
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😆 That “Wayne´s World” scene has appeared in my head. I´m the wrong colour to be the traffic cop (unfortunate – I have the leather and a shiny helmet), so I´ll get a moustache going and be the cowboy. See you at G.A.Y. club Lee (Not!) 🙂

      Oz

    • #57601
      lee_UK
      Participant

      i wonder if there is a Y , C and A guitar to make up the the rest of the village people anthem? i wanna be the construction worker with the multi utility belt!!

    • #57599
      SB
      Participant

      As my son would say, “that’s shameful”. Although it may not be much for sitting in a chair soulfully strumming ballads, I bet it’s great for duck-walking across a stage. Actually, I think I’ve seen this instrument before. Look up “Wall Hanger” in your Funk and Wagnall! SB

    • #57615
      1bassleft
      Participant

      No, it’s not me bidding. Much as I’d like a MDF bodied guitar with a Korean Kramer neck, there’s a problem for me. Flipping it over would have me playing guitar on a large “W”. Too many obvious jokes about what the “W” stands for, with my playing.

    • #57616
      Michael
      Participant

      haha quite a find.

      It’s located over here so I should put a bid in at that price, only 10 bucks. If only the postage wasn’t AU $35.95.

      If anyone can top that wonderous piece of art, I’ll give you some glory in a GNW next week.

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