This is too funny!

Sorry for this offtopic but it's damn funny :))) I could not hold it!

Why it is good to be a man?

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
2. Your orgasms are real. Always
3. Your last name stays put
4. The garage is all yours
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
10. Same work .. more pay
11. Wrinkles-add character
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

i think its the best joke!



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Jet lag.

Who are you calling a slag, you Cockernee git? :)

Sorry Bass it was a typo. YOU TART ! :lol:

In order to please a woman we (men) have to (list incomplete)...

    Be sensitive to their needs Remember ALL important dates.
    Acknowledge that 'whenever you have time' means NOW.
    Always respond 'of course not' to 'Does my bum look big in this?'
    Retain a mental map of every conversation we've ever had with a woman in order to be able to pick up where we left off, no-matter how great the time-lag is in-between.
    Acknowledge that nothing they 'need' is too expensive or frivolous.
    Get used to being ignored and spoken about as if you weren't there if there is another woman in earshot.
    Put down the toilet seat (why? - If they can get pissed off with us leaving it down, why can't we get pissed of at THEM leaving it UP?).
    Acknowledge that ALL soap operas are watchable because they are 'real life', not like that rubbish Sci-Fi/Horror/Thriller (delete as applicable) that WE like.
    Acknowledge that the desire for and accumulation of hundreds of pairs of shoes, tens of handbags and the need for more wardrobe space than your house is actually capable of providing is a necessity. Whereas your need for another guitar is a fripparous and un-necessary expenditure.

On the other hand, all women have to do to please a man is...

    Get Naked. Bring Food.

:lol:

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