Home Forums Guitar Discussion Guitar The Worst Colour/Finish/Detail on a guitar – post them in.

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  • #21953
    lee_UK
    Participant

    OK, ive said this on another thread, but i think one of the worst finishes to my eyes, is this:
    http://www.pittsburghguitars.com/collantigua.html
    some will disagree, some will say there are worse, but how many will say they love it??

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    Replies
    • #69739
      Jason
      Participant
    • #69716
      Michael
      Participant

      This thread has been locked and all new UGLY GUITARS are in a new thread at:
      https://www.guitarsite.com/hotlicks/viewtopic.php?t=1919

    • #69720
      1bassleft
      Participant

      No, but you wear your underpants inside-out, to make them last another six months before troubling the washing machine πŸ˜†

    • #69725
      Michael
      Participant

      πŸ˜†

      It was an artist’s impression, had we had a mod conference.

      I haven’t worn underwear on the outside for a good 6 months.

    • #69698
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ™„ , the g-site shindig was the other side of the world from us. Even the free drinks offer didn’t cover the flight (unless Easyjet have invested in bigger elastic bands for their 737s).

      So, if it wasn’t us, which other mod has a penchant for inflatables, is known for giving lousy head jobs and likes to dress up? Wasting your time with the masks, Mike. As Mad Max put it to the fat bird-watcher, “You can hide but you can’t run” πŸ˜†

    • #69584
      Michael
      Participant

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/batman1.jpg

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/batman2.jpg

      Lee and 1b after one too many of Alfred’s Battinis and lime at the gsite annual mod conference. Yes, police were called.

    • #69578
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† Scott, yes I was thinking of “Phoenix Nights” and the “I’m going to give her a pearl necklace” line. Certainly wouldn’t give anyone a “Blunt” necklace, though.

      I’m into glw’s latest. Is it just me, or does it look like Batman’s submersible ScubaStrat? “Holy A minor!!!” πŸ™‚

    • #69544
      Michael
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]I think the Squier “Obey” series are alright, actually.[/quote]

      It’s just the “propaganda” I have an issue with. I mean, I love a snake and skull guitar as much as the next bloke.

      [quote=”glw”]Here’s a rather odd one:[/quote]

      Reminds me of Clockwork Orange.

      [quote=”lee_uk”]So, STOP being a James Blunt Michael, nobody would own guitar that looked like his![/quote]

      Wait, your not saying that that is a replica of the Blunts actual guitar?

    • #69588
      glw
      Participant
    • #69596
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]No?

      Squire ‘Obey’ something-or-rather…

      And for laughs sake, a necklace with James Blunt on a guitar. Supposedly a prototype of Lee’s full scale custom.

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/theblunt.jpg%5B/quote%5D

      Oi, watch it son, you know what the new cockney slang is for a see (C) you (U) next (N) tuesday (T) is dont you? it was a Berkshire Hunt, then it was a James Hunt, then it became a James Blunt.
      So, STOP being a James Blunt Michael, nobody would own guitar that looked like his!!

    • #69581
      glw
      Participant

      I think the Squier “Obey” series are alright, actually.

    • #69595
      Michael
      Participant

      No?

      Squire ‘Obey’ something-or-rather…

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/squireobey.jpg

      And for laughs sake, a necklace with James Blunt on a guitar. Supposedly a prototype of Lee’s full scale custom.

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/theblunt.jpg

    • #69523
      USGold
      Participant

      Pearl Necklace indeed—-ha–assume you know what the euphimism means.Scott

    • #69587
      Michael
      Participant

      ebay is a complete shambles.

      As for the beans.. “This guitar comes with tags and a certificate. In fact they all come with tags and certificates which certifcate nothing at all except your good taste and style.” classic.

    • #69526
      1bassleft
      Participant

      And, just for a laugh at our Chinese guitar-selling chums, have a look at this one:

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/EMS-Wonderful-superb-left-handed-Electric-Guitar_W0QQitemZ7411257227QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      Wife or girlfriend won’t let you buy another guitar? Tell her you’ll give her a “pearl necklace” instead πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

    • #69541
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Take a look at this shocker of an acoustic. I was thinking about putting it in “optimistic eBayers” but, TBF the seller has tongue firmly in cheek. I suggest you have a click on the link after looking at the pic πŸ˜†

      #http://i6.ebayimg.com/02/i/06/e8/a7/fb_1_b.JPG

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Broad-Bean-Guitar-by-BOB-BREEKS_W0QQitemZ7411240674QQcategoryZ33045QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #69576
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Immediately after the “I do” bit, in ’88 πŸ˜†

    • #69535
      Michael
      Participant

      lol, any ounce of malehood you had left was shall we say, just flushed down the toilet….

    • #69559
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I cannot understand English toilets and carpet (seriously off-topic). I haven’t been allowed to lift and stand in years, because of it 😳

    • #69593
      Michael
      Participant

      lol… speaking of poms and loos, when I’m watching UKTv lifestyle programs (in between Bill reruns) I’m always amazed at the amount of bathrooms/toilets with carpet! C’mon guys, it’s 2006! Thank the lord you have 365 different renovation shows.

    • #69556
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]Do you think we need a second thread now, split and lock? We are up to page 46. Up to you guys.[/quote]

      Nope. Just think of all the new searchers who typed “definitely” into Google πŸ˜†

      (I know; it’s the ‘other’ thread. Watch out for Stacey, Lee – she’ll be changing your loo curtains next πŸ˜‰ )

    • #69505
      Michael
      Participant

      Congrats Lee, limited edition commemorative dinner plates will be available very soon πŸ™‚

      Do you think we need a second thread now, split and lock? We are up to page 46. Up to you guys.

    • #69591
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Lee_UK, your thread has made the 50,000+ landmark. Mike, get your Letraset Certificate Kit out πŸ˜€

      Also, see Lee’s “worst guitar” thread for a Fender abomination I have spotted…

    • #69580
      Michael
      Participant

      Nothing with Paris Hilton AND guitars gets past GLW πŸ™‚

    • #69590
      glw
      Participant
    • #69553
      USGold
      Participant

      What in the he!! is EPIPHONE thinking?

      ##http://xs200.xs.to/xs200/06182/TrailerEPI.jpg

    • #69599
      USGold
      Participant

      eeewwww.—Please , I just ate lunch.

    • #69532
      glw
      Participant

      It looks like some New Age claptrap supposedly depicting Pochahontas (or some other North American Indian woman) and spirit guides and so forth.

      Very disturbing.

    • #69502
      lee_UK
      Participant

      is that suppoed to be a beautiful princess gone wrong? I dont think he has quite captured her youthful looks, good one mike.

    • #69579
      Michael
      Participant
    • #69529
      lee_UK
      Participant

      You could never spin that one round and play that left handed could you bass?

      Never get past the 12th fret.

    • #69597
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† , “What’s f***ed up, Doc?”

      That really looks unplayable. Great find, glw πŸ™‚

    • #69514
      glw
      Participant
    • #69585
      USGold
      Participant

      Play using the wrist or the forearm instead of palm?

    • #69538
      1bassleft
      Participant

      601, that’s a great post. At first, I was thinking of The White Stripes 2nd video, which was pretty effective use of Lego, but that SRV is about as accurate as snap-together cuboids go. Right down to the whammy. Incidentally, how on earth can anyone play an uppy-downy trem? Being a lefty, I often have to play on a righty guitar, which is fine – unless a trem is in the way. Then I’m burgered.

    • #69550
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”601blues”]#http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c204/601blues/srvl2.gif%5B/quote%5D

      Nice, those look about the right gauge of string for SRV too.
      Thinking about it, how do you make strings out of Lego??

    • #69508
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”][quote]If you ‘newcomers’ have a look over the pages of this post you will see some real eyesores.[/quote]

      Lee, I’d never accuse you of being supercilious for the sake of it. You’re not desperately trying to keep the “MTV” guitar in the #1 spot for all time are you? Even “Wet Wet Wet” pulled the plug on that song of theirs after 18 weeks :lol:[/quote]

      πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

      For all who havent seen it…. it’s on page.. πŸ˜†

    • #69592
      601blues
      Participant
    • #69594
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]If you ‘newcomers’ have a look over the pages of this post you will see some real eyesores.[/quote]

      Lee, I’d never accuse you of being supercilious for the sake of it. You’re not desperately trying to keep the “MTV” guitar in the #1 spot for all time are you? Even “Wet Wet Wet” pulled the plug on that song of theirs after 18 weeks πŸ˜†

    • #69568
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Not really meant to be a playable guitar though, we had one like that before, i think it had mosaic tiles all over it, it was meant to be an ornament of some sort.
      If you ‘newcomers’ have a look over the pages of this post you will see some real eyesores.

    • #69511
      USGold
      Participant

      That your guitar stand “went down”—My vote for the “WORST” has to be that mess with the paste on crap

    • #69547
      Michael
      Participant

      The one GLW posted looks like it has been left on the beach for the last 45 years and has been encrusted with everything from seashells to seagull crap. Awful.

    • #69520
      1bassleft
      Participant

      When Mike does his “part two” roundup, I comfortably predict that that barnacle-encrusted eyesore will be in the top three, glw. After that, this thread’s turning distinctly diiirty. First we get a smiling girl clutching a large carrot, then Goldie’s avatar pic. I recognize that guitar stand. Took two hours to inflate with a foot pump and still couldn’t handle my 34″ without going down on me. I asked for a refund but they promptly charged me double (burdumm – tish!)

    • #69562
      USGold
      Participant

      The guitar stand of course-I wann know where to get one of those.

    • #69586
      Tim
      Participant

      I’m a gullible male and a total sucker for a redhead so, yes, I visited the site, they seem to make 2 guitars $3000+ each and totally butt-ugly. I know sex is supposed to sell but even she couldn’t sell me one of those! Nasty.

    • #69574
      USGold
      Participant

      I nominate this as the best guitar accessory I have seen to date.

      ##http://xs75.xs.to/pics/06146/bestaccesory.jpg

    • #69582
      USGold
      Participant
    • #69598
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]One of Bugs Bunny’s, perhaps:

      #http://www.menty.no/gg.jpg%5B/quote%5D

      I quite like this one, nice consistant shape, looks like its supposed to,
      good quality hardware, plus nice hands and a lovely smile. πŸ˜†

    • #69589
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]This one is just disturbing. I assume it’s supposed to be an “art” piece rather than a player. I can’t imagine what the tone would be like with all that assorted crap stuck to it, but I bet it’d sound horrible.

      #http://www.phoenixfm.com/images/bae2005/Mark%20Spetch’s%20Guitar.JPG%5B/quote%5D

      I’d like to see a hand grenade placed inside, pin withdrawn, and high speed cameras rolling, at least it would be a dignified end to a once ‘Useable’ guitar.
      Arts and Crafts has a lot to answer for.

    • #69496
      glw
      Participant

      One of Bugs Bunny’s, perhaps:

      #http://www.menty.no/gg.jpg

    • #69583
      glw
      Participant

      This one is just disturbing. I assume it’s supposed to be an “art” piece rather than a player. I can’t imagine what the tone would be like with all that assorted crap stuck to it, but I bet it’d sound horrible.

      #http://www.phoenixfm.com/images/bae2005/Mark%20Spetch’s%20Guitar.JPG

    • #69498
      glw
      Participant

      #http://www.rondomusic.net/photos/acoustic/panda1a.jpg
      (No jokes about guitar makers trying to panda to all tastes… Well, go on then, seeing as it’s you…)

    • #69571
      1bassleft
      Participant

      How long did it take them to realize it made a blimmin’ lousy bat, Mike? The smack of leather on spruce-top-mahogany-sides would’ve been interesting if they’d managed a clean connection.

    • #69517
      Michael
      Participant

      A gibbon πŸ˜†

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/cricketteamguitar.jpg

      If the colours didn’t offend you poms enough, it’s the official guitar of the Australian cricket team.

    • #69565
      USGold
      Participant

      Those designs are unique I must say-but obviously designed by an artist not a player–good luck trying to rock out on one of those things

    • #69355
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]#http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/wolfgoodluck.jpg

      According to the ebay seller, this guitar will bring you good luck. It is also “nobler and enthralling, it will give you the elegance and made you exalted.” yessssss.[/quote]

      A quick study of the back legs doesn’t suggest that gibbon is ‘depositing’ any good luck, I think it’s using that river for other purposes.

    • #69376
      lee_UK
      Participant

      All three truely stunning, do you get the frames in with the deal?
      The baboon guitar is the the other end of the scale, i dont think the Chinese have a clue when it comes to these collectors items.

    • #69388
      glw
      Participant
    • #69317
      glw
      Participant
    • #69353
      glw
      Participant

      It looks like a baboon to me.

    • #69349
      Michael
      Participant

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/wolfgoodluck.jpg

      According to the ebay seller, this guitar will bring you good luck. It is also “nobler and enthralling, it will give you the elegance and made you exalted.” yessssss.

      Edit: wtf is that. I originally thought it was a wolf but looking closer it appears to be some sort of sheep wolf. Wolves do not have muzzles like that.

    • #69375
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]How does spelling homework work?

      Do they have a book giving them a list of words to spell?[/quote]

      πŸ˜† , glw. It does work like that; “Spell the word ‘shed’ correctly (2 marks)” πŸ™‚ . There’s method to the madness, I’m sure.

    • #69365
      glw
      Participant

      I’ve gotta say, I found myself quite liking the OBEY graphics on the Squiers, but the red and white So-Cal Fender thing is an abomination.

    • #69386
      USGold
      Participant

      I don’t appreciate any of the graphics on guitars–does anybody have an opinion on the “obey” graphed squires and whats up with that southern california hot rod red and white from fender speed shop for this year

    • #69332
      glw
      Participant

      How does spelling homework work?

      Do they have a book giving them a list of words to spell?

    • #69327
      1bassleft
      Participant

      You’re missing the point, glw and Lee. This guitar is for duelling with. Not as in Frank Marino vs Ted Nugent, but as in ultra-serious-tournament-grand-anorak stuff. I believe this guitar has 45 health points, an attack strength of 3800 and can be polymerized with a naff “skull” axe to form the “pic-axe” that can be placed in the graveyard. That summons the 12-bar monster “Staytuskwo”, crippling your opponent’s hand into a rigid Barre chord.

      I wouldn’t have a clue if I didn’t have a 7yo to inform me about all this guff. He’s behind on his spelling homework, though.

    • #69372
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I dont think anyone would get up and play one of those in a pub in Basildon, but its a good looking fun instrument, lots of novelty value and great hardware, the Japs can actualy be quite innovative.

    • #69347
      glw
      Participant

      I’m sure it’s a fantastically made guitar, good finish, quality components, etc. I just think it’s quite funny, that’s all, and have to admit that I’d feel a bit of a nana having to get up and play it in front of any audience other than my cat (who possibly would appreciate the instrument’s design).

      Actually, I love all this barmy stuff! The Japanese are particularly good at it. Long may it continue.

    • #69359
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I seem to miss the point on a lot of these, am i alone in thinking that this guitar is actualy quite nice? in a give it to your kids kind of a way, i can see what they are trying to get at, it has nice hardware,
      looks as if its been nicely painted, ive seen a lot worse.
      Japanese are a very funny lot.

    • #69351
      glw
      Participant

      Just when you thought we’d exhausted this topic:

      #http://www.espguitars.co.jp/gallery/alfee/guitar_report2003/doraemon/kansei.jpg

      Ahhhhh! Aren’t you disappointed that it says NOT FOR SALE?

    • #69380
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]There are a few crackers on this page, which appears to be in Russian.

      http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/

      Has anyone heard of this guy Ron Thal?

      Anyway, the guitars:

      #http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/img/ron_thal_01.jpg
      The Hand

      #http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/img/ron_thal_03.jpg
      The Half-Munched Piece of Cheese

      and the Piece de las Resistance:

      #http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/img/ron_thal_08.jpg
      The Flying Foot

      What on earth is that one all about?[/quote]

      The hand is quite interesting, whats going between the last fret and the pickup?? is that an extended 3 octave fretboard slab?

      and ive just worked out ‘Ron Thal’ is an anagram of ‘Wanker with long hair’
      Dont mention a rug ever again!

    • #69328
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]#http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/scorp.jpg

      Mars is aligning with Venus and telling me that I’m going to not buy this guitar.

      Edited to add: Is that the new Gary Coleman Signature Strat GLW? I found the neck too short.[/quote]

      The Scorpio’s claw is firmly clenched on the young girls right nipple,
      Don’t know how i spot these things..

    • #69325
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Stop the contest, part 2. They are achingly bad finds, glw πŸ˜†

    • #69330
      glw
      Participant

      There are a few crackers on this page, which appears to be in Russian.

      http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/

      Has anyone heard of this guy Ron Thal?

      Anyway, the guitars:

      #http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/img/ron_thal_01.jpg
      The Hand

      #http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/img/ron_thal_03.jpg
      The Half-Munched Piece of Cheese

      and the Piece de las Resistance:

      #http://www.guitarplayer.ru/ronthal/img/ron_thal_08.jpg
      The Flying Foot

      What on earth is that one all about?

    • #69337
      Michael
      Participant

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/scorp.jpg

      Mars is aligning with Venus and telling me that I’m going to not buy this guitar.

      Edited to add: Is that the new Gary Coleman Signature Strat GLW? I found the neck too short.

    • #69345
      glw
      Participant

      Image hosting by Photobucket

      Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Blues?

    • #69322
      601blues
      Participant
    • #69318
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I’m not sure that Dean knows where to pitch itself. A bit like Schecter. Is it the “cack” version, the “not-so-cack” version, the “to-be-taken seriously” version? For one, I can’t be bothered to find out. Far be it from me to suggest that guitar makers should sack their marketing department… 😈

    • #69363
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Michael Angelo also sports the full Dean range.

    • #69326
      Michael
      Participant

      Interesting point GL, something I hadn’t thought much about. Remembering or milking his death for all it’s worth – a bit of both?

    • #69324
      glw
      Participant

      I dunno… the cynic in me thinks that perhaps it’s a little lacking in taste that Dean Guitars appear to be raking it in following the death of Dimebag Darrell. I’m sure they’d say there’s been an unprecedented demand for Dimebag Darrell signature guitars and that they’re only responding to what the consumer wants, but it’s something that I’m not quite comfortable with.

    • #69329
      Stacey
      Participant
    • #69321
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]Crushed velvet is definatly in this spring[/quote]

      But my matching jacket is at least 6 years old?

    • #69336
      Michael
      Participant

      GLW, that red, blue and white one that reminded us all of Lee was from some chap on eBay UK selling removable guitar skins. For instance, you can switch to a black skin for the goth club gig Saturday night and quickly change to a more conservative bible brown for the Sunday morning church performance. Or so they say.

      Is that crumbed sausages on the shark one? classic.

    • #69341
      mrblanche
      Member

      Do you know how many baby velours gave up their life for that covering?

    • #69323
      glw
      Participant

      Turn it on its side to avoid the carrying handle and you’ve got a nice comfy seat to sit on.

    • #69391
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Amp again (apols). I have a jacket to match this:

      #http://i16.ebayimg.com/02/i/06/86/59/d7_1_b.JPG%5B/quote%5D

      Are you BONKERS !! that is the coolest thing ive seen since Steve Harley wore that fur collared leather jacket on top of the pops .
      Crushed velvet is definatly in this spring.

    • #69339
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Amp again (apols). I have a jacket to match this:

      #http://i16.ebayimg.com/02/i/06/86/59/d7_1_b.JPG

    • #69320
      Tim
      Participant

      How could anyone at Gibson leave the knobs at that angle! Good or bad finish I’d have to line those knobs up.

    • #69343
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]EDIT: BTW, just noticed your new blurb, Tim. I’m cut-up that you didn’t like any of my suggns, but the purple fret-marker does look nice. Incidentally, what would a 1000+ poster have got, Mike? I’m intrigued; do they step up from “Lead virtuoso” to “now qualified to play bass”?

      Just wondering.[/quote]

      Thank you, in desperation to see my squares I went with the ‘stare at your amp till something jumps out at you’ approach to the words. The white northern star idea was a bit garish so now its the Northern Star behind a storm cloud, possibly.

      The next level could be along the lines of ‘Spandex-clad, fret-tapper’ (yes tapper was a late replacement for w***er as I’d quite like to stay on the board really πŸ˜† )

    • #69331
      glw
      Participant
    • #69367
      glw
      Participant

      If sharks aren’t your thing, how about this fella:

      #http://harleyguitars.com/images/f133b.jpg
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Fender-MiM-Strat-w-Poisen-Frog-Custom-Graphics-New_W0QQitemZ7399092209QQcategoryZ38082QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      A clear scratchplate doesn’t work too well on a Strat, does it?

    • #69361
      glw
      Participant
    • #69334
      glw
      Participant

      Actually, I quite like it…

      …No, I’m kidding! It’s VILE!!! Where did you dredge that one up from?

    • #69369
      Michael
      Participant

      You may not actually believe this but my creative juices don’t reach as far as 1000. LV was the highest Jason and I could think of. Anyone past 500 is welcome to their own custom one I think anyways. Thus I keep an eye on who reaches it.

      And your right, it does scream Lee (a rather girly scream too).

    • #69333
      1bassleft
      Participant

      That finish just says “Lee UK” to me. Go on, buy it, Lee – we’ll all chip in for the hardware upgrades πŸ™‚

      EDIT: BTW, just noticed your new blurb, Tim. I’m cut-up that you didn’t like any of my suggns, but the purple fret-marker does look nice. Incidentally, what would a 1000+ poster have got, Mike? I’m intrigued; do they step up from “Lead virtuoso” to “now qualified to play bass”?

      Just wondering.

    • #69382
      Michael
      Participant
    • #69316
      601blues
      Participant

      Dey most likely have a pecker,Picker floatin out there somewhere

    • #69384
      Michael
      Participant

      πŸ˜† Beats shoving the Brian Wilson face guitar into your nether regions. God Only Knows what you’d catch.

      Worst pun thread coming soon to a forum near you.

    • #69357
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Mike, how can I explain this? Your “shark” guitar looks slightly more like a shark than the one I posted; yet it looks even cheesier. I suppose the answer is, if you have a bad idea; the better executed it is, the worse it looks.

      I’ve understood the point (dodgy pun alert πŸ™‚ ) of that Jim Reed. Y’know that “pained” expression you get from Motley Crue types shoving the axe into their crotch? Well, this one would certainly make the facial expression a cinch to do.

    • #69371
      Michael
      Participant

      That JR is f*kin terrible.

      We all know that shark guitars are a big thing in the world of worst finishes, or should I say worst FINish. Hah! A shark eat shark race amongst luthiers to build the dodgiest jaws look-a-like and which Chinese eBay scammer can “sell” it the quickest.

      Here’s a new one to add to the continuing saga.

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/jawsgotit2.jpg

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/jawsgotit1.jpg

      Auction Quote: “ATTENTION: a vrey very splendid item. let’s cherish the charming sonny together!”

      CHERISH THE CHARMING SONNY!

      Only GBP: 188.00 shipping. Bargain.

    • #69378
      Tim
      Participant

      I’d be too scared perforating myself to rock out on that! I’d have to put some padding on those corners – especially the top of the arrow head…

    • #69319
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Blimey. I like Jim Reed guitars; I own one. Not this one, though:

      #http://www.jim-reed-guitars.com/thumb/6/4dcf851694ed7f19ae175de6badbba4e_679075439.jpg

    • #69393
      1bassleft
      Participant

      As mentioned in the bass section, I don’t understand this nostalgia. That KAy has 3 bids up to £20 now. Put that with £12 shipping and that means someone is paying £32 for the unplayable dinghy-oar. Same thing happens with Hondos (although Hondos are not quite as bad) and yet if anyone has a decent line of beginners instruments, CNC routed etc with a BIN of £50, no-one touches them. Go figure.

    • #69335
      BrianJ
      Participant

      πŸ˜€ Loved the Kay Bass on Fleeb – all the action needs is a shim under the neck – another bass in the joint should just about bring it up nicely!!!

    • #69180
      glw
      Participant

      Wotsisname from Motorhead (Phil Campbell?) has got one of those Minarik jobbies. It looks over the top, but sounds good.

    • #69195
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]OK – check out this Hondo so-called LP copy. It looks like a section of the handkerchief my aunt sent me in 1963. All it needs is the snot! [/quote]

      πŸ˜† Brian. It makes me think of “EVH walks into Gieves and Hawkes and asks for a nice shirt since he’s settling down and got a good job in the city”

    • #69188
      Tim
      Participant

      Thats exactly what I said in the bass thread…maybe its some kind of exercise device for when you play a real guitar?!

      ‘Want to pump-up the fingers on your left hand, we have just the thing for you…’ (in a QVC voice of course)

    • #69182
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Seeing as this one’s overtaken the “worst guitar” thread, I thought I’d pop it here. Something Tim said in the bass section reminded me of the “Kay” bass I owned at 13. A vile plank, here’s an even worse one clogging up FleebUK right now:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Bass-guitar-kay-vintage_W0QQitemZ7397830923QQcategoryZ4713QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      :lol:[/quote]

      LOOK AT THE ACTION ON THAT THING !!

    • #69189
      BrianJ
      Participant

      OK – check out this Hondo so-called LP copy. It looks like a section of the handkerchief my aunt sent me in 1963. All it needs is the snot! #http://i16.ebayimg.com/03/i/06/7f/a2/79_2.JPG

    • #69201
      1bassleft
      Participant

      And have a look at this:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/lefty-LEFT-HANDED-SOUTHPAW-ONE-OF-A-KIND-CUSTOM-GUITAR_W0QQitemZ7397492164QQcategoryZ47072QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      I’m talking about the guitar, not the auction totty πŸ˜†

      #http://www.minarikguitars.com/images/products/inferno.shatteredmirror.jpg

      I wonder what gave them the revolutionary (yawn) idea for a shattered-mirror top? Oh yeah, Paul Stanley. And I wonder what gave them the idea for the revolutionary (yawn) flame body shape? Oh yeah, Steve Vai. And I wonder what gave them the idea for this pile of verbal poop?

      [quote]The Minarik Inferno is the most scientifically advanced electric guitar ever built. This flagship design features custom tone chamber engineering throughout the entire body even into the flame tongues. Every design feature on this body shape has a purpose. Increased mass on the left side of the body accent low frequencies and reduced mass on the right side increase the voice-like high frequencies. Each individual flame tongue was designed to produce a certain frequency response giving the Minarik Inferno the most balanced and widest tone spectrum unmatched by any other guitar on the market today.[/quote]

      Oh yeah, Ex-lax dissolved in the mouthwash.

    • #69213
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Seeing as this one’s overtaken the “worst guitar” thread, I thought I’d pop it here. Something Tim said in the bass section reminded me of the “Kay” bass I owned at 13. A vile plank, here’s an even worse one clogging up FleebUK right now:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Bass-guitar-kay-vintage_W0QQitemZ7397830923QQcategoryZ4713QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      Checkout the quality hardware, the precise placement of neckplate, how the strings almost but don’t quite pass over the polepieces and the fingerboard. Best of all, see how the neck isn’t even maple (I think it may be beech πŸ˜• )

      When this auction link dies, just search for Kay guitars in Fleeb. Even the “made in USA” models are junk and some idiots (like our “Mitten in Deutschland” chum) try to sell them for telephone numbers as “classics”. Bubonic Plague was a long time ago, but it doesn’t make it a collector’s item πŸ˜†

    • #69178
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I used to work for Making Music magazine and they (not me, I’m afraid) interviewed Tom Robinson (a la “2-4-6-8 Motorway”, “War Baby” etc). He said something incredibly prescient; something along the lines of “I’ve always avoided flightcases. You put your best guitar in them and then never bother to open them up except for a gig or recording session. All of those ideas, your best creative moments, are tried out on some rubbishy junk you have lying around that you don’t bother protecting.”

      Sure enough, my Jim Reed bass is in a flight case. I used to drag it along to every jam session because it was my only 5er. Since I got the Cort Action V as backup, I’ve taken it to sessions because I can’t be arsed dragging the Jim Reed and its case out of the understairs cupboard. Barmy, really.

      Anyhoo, here’s my “worst hack” contribution. I bought this shortscale Fender Mustang bass for about £35. The seller double-boxed it and she even said she was glad I won because I wanted to bring it to life instead of salvage it for parts. Three years on, I’ve got a ’67 pup, control plate and pots (RH), a RH scratchplate (they’ll both have to be templates) but can I find a LH body? Of course not. Look at what some idiot (not the seller) did. A RH “conversion”, an extra rout for a MightyMite six-string pup (FFS) and, for good measure, one of the tuners was removed and a hole cut in the treble side right through the Fender logo. Ye gods…

      #http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid162/pec407c3ec3dede4c71e60422406412d7/f4bbd986.jpg
      #http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid162/p682bf93e16a81ab40cd25adbd5e80a27/f4bbd98d.jpg

    • #69181
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Sad story. Are those playing cards on the “don’t go there” frets? And did they make a pleasing rattling sound, like on a bike?[/quote]

      It was a big M.I. (GIT, BIT, TIT etc) Logo that I cut up and stuck between the frets…seemed like a good idea.

      I still wish I’d made a hard-case, could really do with one sometimes especially when I was gigging.

    • #69186
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Sad story. Are those playing cards on the “don’t go there” frets? And did they make a pleasing rattling sound, like on a bike?

      On the ‘A’ level project story, a friend of mine had a son who wanted to do it for his high-school project. He already had a perfectly alright Epi Thunderbird. I warned him, told him how much trouble my build was causing, and that what he ought to make for his GCSE was a nice hard case (Tbird headstocks mean they don’t fit in standard bass cases/bags).

      No, he went ahead with it, wanted to make a 5-string. I gave him two Peavey pups and a Kramer Focus neck, but being a Jazz width at the nut he decided 4-string was more prudent. The routing for pups wasn’t working, so he decided to do a sliced-through middle two-piece to jigsaw out the routs in the top half, then glue it onto the bottom half. I must’ve spent hours talking to him, but the wood he chose was builder’s merchants pine. In order to avoid having to round off two-piece edges, he went for a Warlock style pointy.

      I happened to be in the school’s technology area so I asked his teacher for a look. He’d cut a big scoop out of the butt for pointiness so, with a bad feeling, I asked for a tape measure. Putting the neck in the pocket, I measured from the octave fret and, 17″ later, the tape was dangling in mid-air where the cut out piece of wood had been. I explained to them that, if the bridge isn’t sited 34″ from the nut, the thing will not be playable. I can’t remember whether they were going to glue the piece back in (I reckoned the tension from the strings will make it fly right back out) or build some metal brace for the bridge to sit on across the gap.

      He got a “C” pass, but, if I’m uncharitable I might ask my friend to lend it to me and take pics. It must be truly hideous.

    • #69196
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]…C’mon, some of you guys must also have skeletons in your closets…[/quote]

      Ok, couldn’t find any good quality pics to scan, but I think you get the overall from these, once again, I blame Kurt…

      #http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b378/subphonic/Bitch.gif

      Followed by my A-level final project, AKA if Fernandes made a Les Paul…after visiting a whale sanctuary, maybe?!

      #http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b378/subphonic/proj-1.gif
      #http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b378/subphonic/proj-3.gif

      EDITED: to replace crazy-wide pic with less-wide pic.

      Anyhoo, I feel purified by my little confessional, you should all join in!

      P.S. The tragic post script is that the ‘decorated’ bass above was stolen, it was in a gig bag at the time, everything else taken was quick-money-cos-I’m-on-crack style theft, CD’s, speakers etc, I suspect it was chucked over a wall somewhere as soon as they undid the zip so I lost it’s sentimental value and the crazy little inbreds didn’t even get a hit out of it.

    • #69191
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Oh yes, glw. Lee with his “Columbus”, me with my “Hondo II” (I love Lee’s Cockney rhyming slang – that sounds like a pile of Hondo II πŸ˜† )

      At least my Hondo was bought when I was young and knew not much. More recently I picked up off the Fleeb a Japanese “Yamato” bass, thinking I could replace the Tele-lipstick style SC with a ’51P coil I have. Uh oh, the neck is very nice but the rest (body, hardware) terrible. Not barmy enough looking for this thread, but I will be putting it up elsewhere here.

    • #69219
      glw
      Participant

      I just wanted a cheapo short-scale bass at the time.

      It plays quite nicely, actually.

      C’mon, some of you guys must also have skeletons in your closets…

    • #69192
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I wonder if it’s a CMI? No, stop 1BL. You’re getting a bit obsessive…

      For some reason, I’m wondering about Antoria. They were quirky, “almost but not quite like” guitars.

    • #69190
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Can you list the reasons for the purchase?
      Maybe you found it? in a skip?
      very erm… 80’s Miami Vice.

    • #69221
      glw
      Participant

      It was like that when I bought it! Honest, guv!

      Actually, the “interesting” graphics must’ve been done a long time ago, because the blue and green paint (Dulux?) is really well crazed. I’ve no idea what the bass underneath the layers of paint and vinyl shapes really is. Possibly an Ibanez copy. It’s a bolt-on neck jobby, btw.

    • #69197
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† , I was about to write ugh, ack ghastly etc. I’m assuming that the Jazz pup was an add on to the Sidewinder-looking neck pup? Interesting geometrics, anyway.

    • #69211
      glw
      Participant

      Check out this hideous looking bass:

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/DCP03392.jpg

      Oh, wait a minute, that one belongs to me.

    • #69187
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]Double-sided pots? Do you mean the speakers that have been installed?[/quote]

      Apols, I’d obviously not realized the half of it. I hadn’t seen all the construction pics. Now I have, the insane SOH of it all quite appeals to me. Unlike the ’99 Srat.
      [quote]I decided to customise it to my own tastes…. thinking that I would never sell it.” [/quote]

      He’s right there πŸ˜†

    • #69208
      glw
      Participant

      #http://i15.ebayimg.com/01/i/06/4c/ef/28_1_b.JPG #http://i12.ebayimg.com/03/i/06/52/7c/f0_1_b.JPG

      This is pretty scary. The moto scratchplate looks especially out of place alongside all the magazine cut-outs pasted all over the body. And is the giant dice for the middle-pickup tone knob big enough, do you think?

      At least the seller admits, “It was originally metalic blue but as I got a bit bored of that I decided to customise it to my own tastes…. thinking that I would never sell it.”

      Under payment details, he says, ” I will not post this guitar as I don’t trust the post service to not damage it.” Perhaps he thinks the ParcelForce guy will destroy it in a fit of rage when he sees the horrendous “customisation”.

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1999-Fender-Strat-Powerhouse-Deluxe-Customised_W0QQitemZ7395378107QQcategoryZ33039QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #69177
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]:lol: , glw that one is a MUST CLICK LINK. To be fair to the originator, that amount of work does deserve its own site. Still, I vote glw as winning poster of “barmiest acoustic ever” award. Can someone tell me why it has double sided pots? And a CD-Rom built in. I’m beside myself… I really love this one, please click :lol:[/quote]

      It is pretty barmy, isn’t it?

      Double-sided pots? Do you mean the speakers that have been installed?

    • #69212
      Michael
      Participant

      10 marks for effort. Unlike the MTV guitar, quality was not compromised for style. Hah!@

      I also award the Fire Danger certificate of achievement.

    • #69217
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† , glw that one is a MUST CLICK LINK. To be fair to the originator, that amount of work does deserve its own site. Still, I vote glw as winning poster of “barmiest acoustic ever” award. Can someone tell me why it has double sided pots? And a CD-Rom built in. I’m beside myself… I really love this one, please click πŸ˜†

    • #69204
      glw
      Participant

      Here’s a rather eccentric thing to do to a poor unsuspecting acoustic guitar – put a computer inside it!

      http://www.envador.com/cases/GuitarPC/

    • #69200
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Haha, it took me a coupla secs to work out the “RW” logo. Feraminute, I thought you had insider knowledge of Robbie’s undie preferences. Then again, so does anybody who looks at a calendar in a hairdresser’s.

    • #69210
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Robbie Williams???

    • #69184
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Once again, this is an amp (apols everyone). Custom made 10W valve job but they’ve been to Hobbycraft again, or Ivana Trump’s wardrobe castoffs:

      #http://i17.ebayimg.com/01/i/06/60/90/43_1_b.JPG

    • #69194
      Michael
      Participant

      Not sure what the image prob was?

      The everlasting supply of 99 cent Chinese guitars on ebay UK with descriptions like Admirable or Stunning work of art crack me up.

    • #69220
      1bassleft
      Participant

      If he were Irish, he might say “Feck” πŸ˜† (apols to people who’ve never seen “Father Ted” on TV).

    • #69215
      mrblanche
      Member

      [quote]I wonder what Jeff Beck would say.[/quote]

      “Bleck?”

    • #69222
      glw
      Participant

      I wonder what Jeff Beck would say.

    • #69206
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Mike, it may be that our own goodtastefilter v1.1 has prevented posting the image of the Jeff Beck Tribute up. I’ve abused my mod status to bend the rules and flash the hideosity up so everyone can retch in harmony. It is ghastly, isn’t it?

      #http://i24.ebayimg.com/04/i/06/60/38/bf_1.JPG

    • #69198
      glw
      Participant

      I like the way he blames the finish on a “previous owner”.

      Yeah, right…

    • #69193
      mrblanche
      Member

      For some reason, I couldn’t get that image to post on here.

    • #69199
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”mrblanche”]This one’s on e-bay right now!

      http://cgi.ebay.com/Ibanez-Custom-RG-Jeff-Beck-Guitar-Seymour-Duncan-LOOK_W0QQitemZ7393786055QQcategoryZ33043QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem%5B/quote%5D

      I would ask for £3 off the finish price, to pay for 2 sheets of sandpaper!

    • #69225
      mrblanche
      Member
    • #69223
      1bassleft
      Participant

      This is a Fender Sunni Mustang (sic), Indian job, with a re-fret and, of course the paint job. Start price of £70, devilish sense of humour I’d say:

      #http://i4.ebayimg.com/05/i/06/61/0d/9f_1_b.JPG

    • #69179
      Michael
      Participant

      Ah lol… cheese guitar.. absolute classic.

    • #69205
      glw
      Participant
    • #69185
      mrblanche
      Member

      I’m sure they were after marble, but instead they got Roquefort.

    • #69202
      Tim
      Participant

      I didn’t know ‘Hammerite’ had a custom-shop range, looks like one of my old basses which I decorated with Humbrol enamel, it was a grunge thing.

    • #69209
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Tim, I had noticed that Betty looked like things had Gone South, but I’m too much of a gent to say so. A candidate for nip/tuck, though.

      glw, sorry but 😯 ❓ Mike (blanche) has just put up the (quite literally) cheesiest looking guitar ever. It exactly reminds me of those Stiltons that win awards from ruddy-cheeked, fuzzy-sideburn types in Arran sweaters and wellies. Like the Stiltons, that guitar stinks.

    • #69203
      lee_UK
      Participant

      glw has always been a bit odd in his tastes. πŸ˜†

    • #69224
      mrblanche
      Member

      Ah…..yes……

      And that is why a thread on “ugly guitars” is really quite meaningless, isn’t it? After all, if SOMEONE didn’t like it, no one would make it.

    • #69176
      glw
      Participant

      I dunno… I quite like it.

    • #69214
      mrblanche
      Member

      #http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e79/mrblanche/img003.jpg

      Can you believe someone would really advertise a guitar this ugly?

    • #69216
      Tim
      Participant

      Moving poor Betty’s breast that far down for the sake of a visual joke is close to sacrilage though. I know ropes compress them somewhat but you can see both shoulder blades as well and…erm, I think I’ll shut up now… 😳

    • #69207
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I can’t get over the toggle selector on “bondage Betty”. It reminds of what I read once in one of the Sunday tabloids about one of the Gibbs and his fondness for clamps. Shiver…

    • #69218
      Michael
      Participant
    • #69183
      Michael
      Participant

      As a fan of the movie I’ll give it some cool factor πŸ™‚

      But speaking of Schecter customs:

      House Of 1000 Corpses:

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/house1000corpsesguitar.jpg

      Bondage Betty:

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/betty.jpg

      And I believe this is the Fred Durst pubic hair custom… better check that with 1BL:

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/custom04.jpg

      I think the first two have artistic value. They aren’t shite jobs.

    • #69076
      1bassleft
      Participant

      This NAMM 2002 Schecter was apparently praised as cool-looking by some people 😯 :
      #http://www.otheroom.com/namm02/images/guitars/DeadSchecter.jpg

    • #69015
      1bassleft
      Participant

      That old favourite; the “I made this out of attic junk” bass. Cigar box body, ‘burned in’ fret markers, one string and check that groovy bridge.

      #http://i24.ebayimg.com/03/i/06/40/2c/3d_1.JPG#http://i22.ebayimg.com/04/i/06/3f/9c/33_1.JPG

      http://cgi.ebay.com/Cigar-box-bass-guitar-Electric-or-acoustic-fretless-CBG_W0QQitemZ7390204109QQcategoryZ47064QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #69023
      601blues
      Participant

      WOW! lookin at the blue one I thought I was havin a FLashback!! 60s ya know!!

    • #69066
      Michael
      Participant
    • #69071
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I did see the “views” # recently and thought 😯 8) . Yes, well done all who’ve input on the thread. Oh, and a special “thankyou” to bad taste luthiers everywhere.

    • #69070
      Michael
      Participant

      :lol:, It deserves to appear twice anyway.

      I should note that this thread has received a whoping 25,000+ views now. Awesome stuff guys, can’t wait until we have enough for another ‘Top’ set.

    • #69061
      1bassleft
      Participant

      You have the power to simply, quietly, without fuss, delete the offending repetition. That would be the English Way, showing a little class. To err is human and all that. Now, the alternative is to splat a bloody great repost of your original and go “I DID IT FIRST! NER DEE NER DEE NER”

      But that would be a bit “australian”… πŸ˜†

      Ok, sorry. It was an acoustic – how much notice did you expect me to take 😳

    • #69039
      Michael
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]Seemed a little quiet in this here thread….

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/ufochick.jpg%5B/quote%5D

      I posted that freak about 4 weeks back. Your going blind mannnn! blind I say. I wonder why… bad valentines? πŸ˜€

    • #69069
      1bassleft
      Participant

      From eBay, one of those Chinese sellers with £120 shipping that fill the bandwidth. This one is “fair sound, distinct, fashionable guitar”

      #http://i18.ebayimg.com/04/i/06/0f/e6/dc_1_bl.JPG

      Distinct it certainly is. Also from the seller’s text:
      [quote]it will bring you beat all [/quote]

      Indeed.

    • #69031
      lee_UK
      Participant

      The things we do in the name of entertainment. πŸ˜†

    • #69044
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† , Mike. I think I’ve seen that faux-zebra in “Hobbyworld”, Lee. I bought some faux-vache when Bassjr was an ox in the nativity thang.

    • #69045
      mrblanche
      Member

      I think in this case it would have to be the anti-polyester crowd.

      When I was a teacher, the “crushed velvet” formal dress was popular at the proms, etc. I had several girls in tears when I asked them if they knew how many baby velours had to be killed to make their dress.

    • #69072
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]I know I’m going to get kicked for putting amps in a guitar thread, but I just had to share this with you:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Fender-Bassman-Head-Cab_W0QQitemZ7387109001QQcategoryZ10171QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
      #http://i18.ebayimg.com/01/i/05/ff/6b/5e_1_b.JPG

      Yeah, baby![/quote]

      Great, if you want the Anti-fur lobby throwing buckets of red paint at you.

    • #69073
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I know I’m going to get kicked for putting amps in a guitar thread, but I just had to share this with you:
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Fender-Bassman-Head-Cab_W0QQitemZ7387109001QQcategoryZ10171QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
      #http://i18.ebayimg.com/01/i/05/ff/6b/5e_1_b.JPG

      Yeah, baby!

    • #69050
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Might have been a subconscious of “Last Judgement”, I’m not sure. I’d never seen “Garden of Earthly Delights” before, crikey, what a painter! Way ahead of his time there, no wonder Philip II liked his stuff; it made me think of Dali and Picasso’s “Guernica” straight away. I guess both of them would’ve been familiar with it.

      Sorry, we now return control of G-site back to topic… πŸ™‚

    • #69056
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]As for the Hell thing, they may be green aliens but something about the poses reminds me of some painting of “Judgment Day” and Satan’s Little Helper’s shovelling all the naughty types off to Damnation. I may be wrong – can’t be bothered with Renaissance art.[/quote]

      From the description and the pic that sounds like the work of Hieronymus Bosch (possibly ‘The Garden of Earthly Delights’ or ‘The Hay Wain’).
      One of the most famous of the 15th century Flemish artists, his work tends to be catagorised as late-Gothic (as opposed the early Rennaisance…this was developing in Italy around the same period)

      Wayhey, something on Guitarsite that I know about!

    • #69067
      lee_UK
      Participant

      You should check that ‘eat my shorts’ website, he has some great 1 string basses.

    • #69033
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I shudder to think what setting up the intonation on that “shorts” guitar involves. As for the Hell thing, they may be green aliens but something about the poses reminds me of some painting of “Judgment Day” and Satan’s Little Helper’s shovelling all the naughty types off to Damnation. I may be wrong – can’t be bothered with Renaissance art.

    • #69055
      Tim
      Participant

      I feared that was the case…I think I preferred the big M guitar and that’s saying something!

    • #69062
      glw
      Participant

      Tim, as far as I can make out, it’s genuine.

    • #69054
      Tim
      Participant

      Please tell me you ‘Photoshopped’ the ‘Eat My Shorts’ guitar, I refuse to believe it exists…How bored would you have to be to realise an idea that…pants (see what I did there?)

    • #69028
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Atchly, that one’s quite amusing. I wonder if they’re little Beelzebubs. That’s the problem with Hell, it’s just fornicate, fornicate, fornicate…[/quote]

      Where does the Hell part come in?…

    • #69065
      glw
      Participant
    • #69064
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Atchly, that one’s quite amusing. I wonder if they’re little Beelzebubs. That’s the problem with Hell, it’s just fornicate, fornicate, fornicate…

    • #69019
      glw
      Participant

      This one doesn’t look to bad at first glance:

      #http://www.dawaynebailey.com/images/alien-anderson.jpg

      …but what are those aliens doing? And the less said about the toggle switches the better.

      http://www.dawaynebailey.com/images/alien-anderson.jpg

    • #69011
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I know the “Cream, The Fool” guitar has appeared here before, but get an eye(ache)ful of this ESP:

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/CREAM-Clapton-The-Fool-ESP-Custom-Shop-SG-Guitar_W0QQitemZ7384229728QQcategoryZ33038QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      Apparently it was hand-painted “painstakingly”, which I can well believe for the unfortunate who had to stare at it that long. The best bit is, the owner’s strung it, and selling it as, a lefty. It’s occularly assaulting enough for Joe Audience, without being upside-down to boot.

      #http://i21.ebayimg.com/04/i/06/03/c1/a1_0.JPG #http://i17.ebayimg.com/03/i/06/04/06/ea_0.JPG
      #http://i17.ebayimg.com/02/i/06/04/07/de_0.JPG #http://i8.ebayimg.com/01/i/06/0a/d8/5b_0.JPG
      #http://i19.ebayimg.com/01/i/06/04/3d/54_1_b.JPG

    • #69052
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]A Flying V with a headstock that looks like it’s broken. What is the point of that?[/quote]

      The guitar is a called a ‘Harpoon’ my guess is they are trying to make the headstock look like a harpoon, harpoons have that hook shape pointy bit so they Japs can pull in the half dead screaming whales without the harpoon coming out, but of course it’s all done in the interest of ‘Scientific Research’ . Why cant they stick to making very good Fender re-issues?

    • #69043
      mrblanche
      Member

      I don’t have it here handy, but there is a guitar in the newest issue of Vintage Guitar, the one with Santana on the front, that has a finish that looks like my sisters dresser. Mind you, we were very poor, and that dresser had about 5 different colors of paint on it, plus the spills from all her makeup.

    • #69041
      1bassleft
      Participant

      On the EB- basses, a broken headstock is “an authentic Gibson feature” πŸ˜† , they’re reknowned for it.

    • #69057
      glw
      Participant

      A Flying V with a headstock that looks like it’s broken. What is the point of that?

    • #69047
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Ed Roman’s selling the Harpoon Vee, all you style freaks:

      #http://www.edroman.com/guitar/abstract/abs_models/images/harpponvee550.jpg

      Wait, there’s more from the venerable Ranting Roman (doubtless all at competetive prices πŸ˜† )

      #http://www.edroman.com/avail/guitar/jfrog/jfrog_skull_550.jpg

      #http://www.edroman.com/guitar/vampire/images/rockingbat_small.jpg

      Edit: I’m sure the middle one has been on here before (apols). We’ve had a lot of planks posted here, but that one definitely sticks in the mind…

    • #69053
      lee_UK
      Participant

      PRS are somtimes things of beauty, but when you make your ‘Standard’ guitar with a quilted 10 top, and gold hardwear, with Brazillian rosewood fingerboard, how on earth do you up the ante to make a ‘Custom Shop’ ?

      Enter the ‘Dragon’

      http://www.prsguitars.com/showcase/discontinued/dragonthree.html

    • #69017
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”mrblanche”]Don’t know how long this will be viewable, but can you believe a PRS could be this ugly?http://mi-images.instrumentexchange.com/images/photos/a_4726023928266_1.jpg[/quote]

      I’m no lover of PRS guitars at the best of times, but you are correct – that one is truly vile.

    • #69058
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]also this customised Tokai Love Rock, with a bit of pubic hair hanging around the rear strap button, if it were mine i’d give it a ‘Brazilian’

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/TOKAI-LOVE-ROCK-SPECIAL-NUDE-PUxxY-EDITION_W0QQitemZ7378408878QQcategoryZ33040QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem%5B/quote%5D

      That Tokai is certainy the most tasteless I’ve seen on this thread as of now.

    • #69025
      1bassleft
      Participant

      And, as I mentioned in another thread here, that “35th Anniversary Mustang Strat” is back on Fleeb. I think glw put it deservedly in here the first time round. $18,000 indeed.

      Fercryin’ out loud Lee:
      [quote]Oultlet? or Outlet ??

      Mrs Bass please send Mr Bass to the back of the class, for everybody that doesnt know, Mrs Bass is an English teacher. [/quote]

      1) Mrs Bass is a MFL teacher (that’s “Modern Foreign Lanuages” not Zappaesque “Mother…..”). I’ve told you this a coupla times. Perhaps he’s that German “Music Umlaut Shop”

      2) I could put up padding little posts about “spotted a minor typo by Lee” but I’ve got 1300+ and a fancy avatar already – plenty of material for nyoobs here, though πŸ˜›

    • #69037
      Michael
      Participant

      Seemed a little quiet in this here thread….

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/ufochick.jpg

    • #69021
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”mrblanche”]Don’t know how long this will be viewable, but can you believe a PRS could be this ugly?http://mi-images.instrumentexchange.com/images/photos/a_4726023928266_1.jpg[/quote]
      Hi Mrblanche, yes we can beleive PRS can be this ugly, basicaly anything from PRS that sports the ‘Custom shop’ badge. πŸ˜†

    • #69060
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”][quote]I can’t stand that German “Music-Oultlet-Shop” seller. [/quote]

      Oultlet? or Outlet ??

      Mrs Bass please send Mr Bass to the back of the class, for everybody that doesnt know, Mrs Bass is an English teacher. πŸ˜†

    • #69035
      mrblanche
      Member

      Don’t know how long this will be viewable, but can you believe a PRS could be this ugly?http://mi-images.instrumentexchange.com/images/photos/a_4726023928266_1.jpg

    • #69027
      Tim
      Participant

      Definate pregnancy look to the LP, I used to love that shape but I’ll never see it the same again.

      The ‘scarring’ around the hardware doesn’t exactly add to the appeal either…ooh, a pregnant cyborg, yay.

    • #69068
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]have a look at this monstrosity, its direct from the vile torid barrel of idea dregs marked ‘Unimaginative’ (did i spell that correctly?) [/quote]

      Yes, you did (but we’ll skip on the “its” and “torid” πŸ˜› ). I can’t stand that German “Music-Oultlet-Shop” seller. Always stockpiled with overpriced tat, like an old Precision that, once you read on, has been refinished and the pup replaced with a Dunkmore Semen etc but a price-tag more in line with a decent example.

      Anyhoo, that “skull and crossbones” actually reminded me of the duck I slammed in the oven for Xmas dinner. Seriously; take the neck away and it just looks like a trussed-up piece of poultry. What’s it called? Spatchcock chicken, or something? As for the “hardcore” axe; there’s a slight problem here. The LP shape just looks like, frankly, a bit of a fat bint. So, great idea, paint it up in a crotchless leather gimpsuit for women. Nice. Doesn’t even look “Ann Summers” – more like the top-shelf mag that even the ropiest newsagent wouldn’t stock πŸ˜†

    • #69051
      lee_UK
      Participant

      also this customised Tokai Love Rock, with a bit of pubic hair hanging around the rear strap button, if it were mine i’d give it a ‘Brazilian’

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/TOKAI-LOVE-ROCK-SPECIAL-NUDE-PUxxY-EDITION_W0QQitemZ7378408878QQcategoryZ33040QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #69049
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Meanwhile, back at the farm….
      have a look at this monstrosity, its direct from the vile torid barrel of idea dregs marked ‘Unimaginative’ (did i spell that correctly?)

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7379124452&ssPageName=MERC_VI_RSCC_Pr4_PcY_BIN_Stores_IT

      sorry i should have warned you.

    • #69048
      1bassleft
      Participant

      You’re right, glw, it has nothing to do with the topic and thanks for flagging it up.

      Moonlight, if you do ever look in again, feel free to PM me to discuss what a nasty git I am, and how your posts can be better tailored to what we’re actually talkiing about. If it makes you feel better, I’m even more anti-corporate than Chris Martin of Coldplay πŸ˜†

    • #69074
      glw
      Participant

      What’s that got to do with the tpic being discussed?

      Or am I missing something?

    • #69013
      Moonlight
      Participant

      The WinMX community is back, the files are back, and the users are taking a stand. Get connected Today.

      [EDIT 1BL] Spam blah blah spam blah blah

    • #69059
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I was looking up a search for Taiwan guitars, to help out on Honeysunshine’s post. I turned up this link, which is worth a view:

      http://web.tnnua.edu.tw/~g920713/2005/11/electric-guitars.html
      😯

    • #69063
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† , or perhaps change to “Vile”

    • #69046
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I think there is an ‘E’ missing off the end of the name on the headstock.

    • #69075
      1bassleft
      Participant

      This isn’t one of those bogus hijacks. This is a jenyooine seller of guitars made in China. Still, I thought you ought to take a look, and this is the thread to put it in…

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/new-admirable-high-quality-professional-electric-guitar_W0QQitemZ7376135637QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #68839
      lee_UK
      Participant

      it is unforgivable.

    • #68859
      glw
      Participant

      Indeed, Lee. What a horrible thing to do to such a classic guitar design.

    • #68908
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I had a wardrobe that looked like that, long ago…

    • #68826
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Excuse me guys, i think im going to throw up…..

      http://www.gibson.com/products/gibson/classic/tomdelonge.html

    • #68891
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I’ll take it on a Ducati Monster, but I’m not sure I’d want it on the guitar. Mustard Mitt, “Encore Black” and sunburst can be a tad yawny, though.

    • #68889
      glw
      Participant

      I quite like it. I’d prefer it any day rather than black or sunburst (which I loathe).

    • #68824
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Howsabout Fender’s “Graffiti Yellow”? There’s a couple on the Fleeb right now. Is it cool or is it “vomit in a NY taxi”? I’m plumping for the latter, but I admit it’s not up there with the real horrors previously posted.

    • #68822
      lee_UK
      Participant

      and the quad exhausts are not straight, it adds to the ASBO effect.

    • #68903
      glw
      Participant

      I like the way that the chequered stripe down the middle isn’t even centred properly.

    • #68895
      1bassleft
      Participant

      glw, please tell me that’s not furreal. It must be from “Max Power” or one of those other “chav” car mags. Before we know it, people will be sporting neon lights on their fretboards, engraving the neckplates. Where will it all end????

    • #68837
      glw
      Participant
    • #68862
      1bassleft
      Participant

      My ISP tried to stop me looking at it. For once, I agree with them. πŸ™‚

    • #68855
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]RMAxe Admin thinks otherwise: “OK, that’s just hot. :)”[/quote]

      I saw that too. Perhaps he was just being polite.

    • #68845
      Michael
      Participant

      RMAxe Admin thinks otherwise: “OK, that’s just hot. :)”

      Looks like you would contract something playing it.

    • #68843
      glw
      Participant

      Blimey, this pretty damned awful: http://www.ratemyaxe.com/details.php?image_id=132

    • #68857
      1bassleft
      Participant

      glw, I think ESP can slip easily past BC Rich in the “we make hideous guitars for a living” stakes.

    • #68883
      lee_UK
      Participant

      why are they hung so far up the wall? do they think people will actulay br tempted to get one down and plug it in? might as well paint a ‘look im a winkle’ sign and hang it above your head.

    • #68877
      Michael
      Participant

      Are the prices as ridiculous as the other ESP’s.

    • #68879
      glw
      Participant

      Sorry about that, I had a touch of the Victor Meldrews.

      Anyhoo… I’ve found some more BAD guitars. The Devil Girl we have already seen but what are these other horrors from ESP?

      #http://www.petersontuners.com/images/bank/ESP_1.jpg#http://www.petersontuners.com/images/bank/ESP_2.jpg

    • #68881
      lee_UK
      Participant

      twas originaly a Scottish tradition, humbug.

    • #68887
      glw
      Participant

      Oh, I can’t be dealing with that Halloween nonsense. Little turds turning up on your doorstep “trick or treating”. Take that custom back to the States where it belongs, it has no place in British culture. Moan, groan, etc…, you get the picture.

    • #68870
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Your just trying to take away some of its genius value, shame on you glw.

    • #68828
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]Headless Horseman – Headless Guitar = pure genius marketing, my whole life now makes sense.[/quote]

      Except that it’s a one-off.

    • #68861
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Headless Horseman – Headless Guitar = pure genius marketing, my whole life now makes sense.

    • #68820
      glw
      Participant
    • #68849
      Tim
      Participant

      I want a VW/Beastie Boys/Fender strat but I don’t suppose they do one of those, pity.

      My old guitarist had a Jag for driving from gig to gig in (that’s all he does) they’re cheap because the insurance/fuel consumption isn’t. Also seem to get car-keyed a lot.

    • #68818
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Jags are cheap, rather like the drivers. Take a look at the resale value of, say, an XJ before buying this Strat. Jaguar have been pulling this kind of “exclusive association” stunt since the days of John Egan. Leather golf-tee holders, you name it. This guitar is right up there with Enron and Barings on the investment front. Now, a “Bummer” Strat with the BMW roundel, that’s a different matter. May only depreciate by 30% in its first year.[/quote]

      As i live in Essex and have regular access to ‘London Rd’ (6 mile long road of dodgy car dealers goes from Romford to Stratford) i can indeed confirm the 2nd hand resale value of the entire Jag range is very affordable, of course this is due to the fact that they are now owned by Ford, and use Mondeo chasis’s and Ford V8 engines instead of the usual High Quality UK built parts.

    • #68893
      Michael
      Participant

      Different values on em over here, not as cheap.

    • #68885
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Jags are cheap, rather like the drivers. Take a look at the resale value of, say, an XJ before buying this Strat. Jaguar have been pulling this kind of “exclusive association” stunt since the days of John Egan. Leather golf-tee holders, you name it. This guitar is right up there with Enron and Barings on the investment front. Now, a “Bummer” Strat with the BMW roundel, that’s a different matter. May only depreciate by 30% in its first year.

    • #68899
      Michael
      Participant

      Just takes one Jag driving guitar lover to see it. If he can afford a Jag, he can no doubt afford that. Actually, do Jag drivers play guitars?

    • #68830
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]A Fender Jaguar Stratocaster? What’s that all about?

      #http://www.nevadamusic.co.uk/ebay/jag-head.jpg#http://www.nevadamusic.co.uk/ebay/jag3-sm.jpg#http://www.nevadamusic.co.uk/ebay/jag4-sm.jpg#http://www.nevadamusic.co.uk/ebay/jag1.jpg

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7361174470&ssPageName=ADME:B:SS:UK:1

      I’m sorry, but I have to ask the really obvious question. Why not a Fender Jaguar Jaguar?[/quote]
      ive seen one of these in a shop nr Chelmsford called ‘Peaches’ the guy in their is a real guitar enthusiast, and has a glass case that always contains 3 ‘access denied’ guitars, im sure i saw a Jag in their for £10k, he had the Hendrix monteray (copy) strat too, and a Hendrix 68′ but the Jag was just too tacky, i wonder if the ebay seller makes anything near 15k for his? i just cant see it.

    • #68866
      glw
      Participant

      That legs guitar is just vile.

    • #68853
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]The Inspector Morse Jaguar was recently renovated for a cost of about £100,000. (Surely, it would have been cheaper to build one from scratch?)

      It was originally bought from a jink yard for a couple of hundred apparently.

      My Uncle used to have one of those cars when I was a kid. I always thought it was dead smart.

      (Sorry, all off-topic).[/quote]
      Reagan and Carter (the sweeney) smashed a few up in their time, funny how Reagan turned into Morse years later, still a copper but this time polishing his beloved Jag instead of chasing one over some wasteland in a south london car chase, they always ended up flipped on the roof and bursting in flames, and the car they chased them in? it was always an early Granada (Park Life) now much sought after themselves!

    • #68847
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]The double-necked guitar is not usually as eyeffensive as the double-legged, IMO:
      #http://homepage.mac.com/bigvelvetdog/gallery/Resources/legsgtrcopy.gif%5B/quote%5D

      has she got underwear on?

    • #68834
      glw
      Participant

      The Inspector Morse Jaguar was recently renovated for a cost of about £100,000. (Surely, it would have been cheaper to build one from scratch?)

      It was originally bought from a junk yard for a couple of hundred apparently.

      My Uncle used to have one of those cars when I was a kid. I always thought it was dead smart.

      (Sorry, all off-topic).

    • #68858
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Good point πŸ˜† , but I suppose the chances of creaming £15,000 off a dim punter for a Fender Jaguar Jaguar are even more remote. I remember flagging up some equally silly “Ltd ed Jaguar” Marshall amp on antoher forum last year. Same formula; boggo product, lots of gold plating, barking pricetag.

      Funny, but back in the 60s the Jaguar was a spiv’s car; for the camel-coat wearer.

    • #68906
      glw
      Participant
    • #68910
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Mike, the comments on that site are a good read too. Where to put the 1/4″ jack must’ve worried old Sr Rich. Nice ‘white-bits’ πŸ™„

    • #68869
      Michael
      Participant

      Nearly as bad as the Crotchocaster on Tom’s Music Thing.

      http://musicthing.blogspot.com/2005/09/most-tasteless-guitar-ever.html

    • #68863
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The double-necked guitar is not usually as eyeffensive as the double-legged, IMO:
      #http://homepage.mac.com/bigvelvetdog/gallery/Resources/legsgtrcopy.gif

    • #68901
      lee_UK
      Participant

      No the blue on has got ‘Nicky Clarke’ written all over it, Nicky is our biggest haired hairdressing stylised boufonted quiffing ponce in the UK.
      πŸ˜†

    • #68904
      italos
      Participant

      I though the blue one was some kind of a scissor for rockers…not funny, but that was my first thought

    • #68860
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Except this, to have a design as bad as these, takes a person to walk up to a luthier, give him a wad of cash and a very bad pencil sketch and say ‘dont ask me any questions, just make it, i’ll pick it up in 3 months at the end of the US tour’ and of course when he did the sketch he was taking a gramm or 2 of some illegal substance, and when he gets back and picks it up, he thinks, my god, i really do need rehab. A picture is then taken of the offending guitar and stuck on the door of the fridge with a magnet as a constant reminder never to do drugs again. I honestly cant think of any other reason why these guitars are made. I think that sounds pretty good.. πŸ˜†
      I do suprise myself sometimes, i will sleep well tonight.

    • #68875
      glw
      Participant

      Probably not.

    • #68873
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I dont quite know what to say… is there anything to say?

    • #68841
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”italos”][quote=”glw”]Here’s another horror that I once downloaded from the net… sorry, I forget where the picture is from, who made the guitar, etc.[/quote]

      Try to find the place though glw, i’m dying to know where this came from :)[/quote]

      Here we are: it’s on the dreaded Ed Roman site! http://www.edromanguitars.com/featured/dbl_neck2.htm
      “Originally custom made for Yngwie Malmsteen” – I should have guessed when I saw the scalloped fingerboards.

      Here’s some more amusing doublenecks from that site:

      #http://www.edromanguitars.com/misc/images/59caddy.jpg#http://www.edromanguitars.com/resources/images/dblneck76.jpg

    • #68864
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Aaah, I like the idea of the 3 y.o. girl and her grammatically-challenged dad systematically devaluing an LP after a Sunday lunch. Me, I scream blue murder if my_sprog touches anything other than his Sunn Mustang (£46). I admit, I’m a grouch, but at least I’m not on “slatemyaxe” yet.

    • #68832
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]Here’s another horror that I once downloaded from the net… sorry, I forget where the picture is from, who made the guitar, etc.[/quote]

      Well you can say it’s a piece of art but not a guitar…
      Ok i’m completely sane…i would like this on a wall in my house but i wouldn’t get on stage with one of these….a “Gothic” Rock videoclip maybe?
      Try to find the place though glw, i’m dying to know where this came from πŸ™‚

    • #68851
      Michael
      Participant

      You have outdone yourself there GL with those.

      As for the jellybeans, resin top would sound like the right way to do it… if someone was to.

    • #68897
      lee_UK
      Participant

      where would we be without Ratemyaxe.com?

    • #68684
      glw
      Participant
    • #68697
      glw
      Participant

      Here’s another horror that I once downloaded from the net… sorry, I forget where the picture is from, who made the guitar, etc.

      #http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/wood_950.jpg

    • #68700
      glw
      Participant

      You’re getting into the realm of guitars with a clear resin top with objects embedded into it.

      For instance, you could have some plastic cuttlefish embedded into the clear top:
      #http://www.projectguitar.com/gal/img/cf3f.jpg
      http://www.garageguitars.com/henry1.html
      See also: http://www.projectguitar.com/gal/2e.htm

      or a whole heap of other rubbish: http://www.garageguitars.com/henry2.html

    • #68654
      Michael
      Participant

      What do you think the logistics are of a clear inlay filled with jellybeans? Melting? Movement?

    • #68655
      1bassleft
      Participant

      You’re safe from me, at least, Italos. I’m still munching Mike’s Sushicaster

    • #68665
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]but the link led me to all manner of ‘interesting’ concepts:http://voodooguitar.com/gallery.html

      have a look for yourselves.[/quote]
      I kinda like the spidey guitar the one with the large spider in the centre…DON’T SHOOT!!!

    • #68690
      Michael
      Participant

      Wtf. Squid inlay on a porcelain dinner plate??!?!

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/sushi.jpg

      Nevertheless check out http://www.projectguitar.com/gal/2f.htm for more info on “Henry Kaiser’s Wacky Geisha Girl Guitar.”

    • #68667
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]#http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/serpguit.jpg

      Official Unofficial Fansite of the Serpent Guitar, featuring the unauthorized biography of the Serpent Guitar.[/quote]

      sometimes words are not enough, and sometimes design goes too far, and every now and again you get the 2 together and i think we have it here, absolutly stunning.

    • #68708
      Michael
      Participant
    • #68666
      Michael
      Participant

      I’m with Lee on that one, I like it.

      The star wars one wins a trifecta and falls in this thread, worst looking and the franchise thread.

    • #68658
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Not just Brits that get gung-ho. I’d seen this “made to look like a P-51D” guitar on Fleeb,
      #http://voodooguitar.com/sitebuilder/images/p4-298×219.jpg

      but the link led me to all manner of ‘interesting’ concepts:
      http://voodooguitar.com/gallery.html

      have a look for yourselves.[/quote]

      That Tele looks qute nice, i’d get up on stage and play it, i quite like your non-taste in guitars Bass.

    • #68657
      glw
      Participant

      There are some real stinkers on there!

      Such as this one: http://voodooguitar.com/starwars.html

    • #68668
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Not just Brits that get gung-ho. I’d seen this “made to look like a P-51D” guitar on Fleeb,
      #http://voodooguitar.com/sitebuilder/images/p4-298×219.jpg

      but the link led me to all manner of ‘interesting’ concepts:
      http://voodooguitar.com/gallery.html

      have a look for yourselves.

    • #68692
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]”U TOO CAN FIGHT THE WAR..SONICALLY”[/quote]

      I thought you were taking the p***, and then I clicked the link and it actually says that in the listing.

      Very, very sad.

    • #68674
      Michael
      Participant

      Ibanez Iceman DMM1 Daron Malakian Signature

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/systemguitar.jpg

      I wont hide the fact I’m not much of a System of a Down fan.

      ———

      “U TOO CAN FIGHT THE WAR..SONICALLY”

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/jetguitar.jpg

      eBay link

    • #68688
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Anyone recognise it? im trying to keep a straight face, it’s a buit like the ‘Bigus Dickus’ python Life of Brian sketch, anybody recognise the guitar?? 😯

    • #68715
      Michael
      Participant

      No one is safe anymore with you hawking around the threads Lee πŸ™‚

    • #68710
      italos
      Participant

      What is this, an antique table?Where is the handcrafted ashtray? πŸ™‚

    • #68663
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Pssst, has anybody seen this one?

      #http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/6799/1gbody8xm.jpg

    • #68661
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”italos”][quote=”lee_UK”]is that PRS on the right a Dragon? that thing is apalling on all fronts, never could see the point in adorning a $2,000 guitar in $25,000 worth of crap, looks like something that belongs on bid-up tv.[/quote]
      Is it really bad that i kinda like the dragon thing??? :oops:[/quote]

      Yes it is, it is quite sick.

    • #68650
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Another ghastly:
      #http://i8.ebayimg.com/01/i/05/24/95/fa_1_b.JPG

      “Holy eyesore, Batman!”

    • #68673
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]I don’t know what this one is because I found it on a Japanese website and would need a translation. However, it is very tacky.

      [/quote]

      I have a T-shirt like that, except it’s full of skeletons “doing the nasty”. Not something I’d put on a guitar; in fact, I haven’t worn the “bone in love” T-shirt for a while either.

    • #68712
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Best to seek professional help italos, we cant help you any further on here, im afraid its therapy you need now, i’ll see if i can find a tele number for you.. πŸ˜†

    • #68671
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]is that PRS on the right a Dragon? that thing is apalling on all fronts, never could see the point in adorning a $2,000 guitar in $25,000 worth of crap, looks like something that belongs on bid-up tv.[/quote]
      Is it really bad that i kinda like the dragon thing??? 😳

    • #68719
      lee_UK
      Participant

      is that PRS on the right a Dragon? that thing is apalling on all fronts, never could see the point in adorning a $2,000 guitar in $25,000 worth of crap, looks like something that belongs on bid-up tv.

    • #68706
      glw
      Participant

      #http://www.soundhouse.co.jp/show/namm2002summer/dsc00290.jpg

      What is that finish? Is it brushed alumunium, or some kind of pearloid finish perhaps?

      This is another one from that Japanese website I found, and would appear to be a Martin electric guitar with a Bigsby! Not seen one like that before!

    • #68678
      glw
      Participant

      I don’t know what this one is because I found it on a Japanese website and would need a translation. However, it is very tacky.

      #http://www.soundhouse.co.jp/show/namm2002summer/dsc00274.jpg

    • #68660
      glw
      Participant
    • #68680
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]http://www.ratemyaxe.com/details.php?image_id=119

      i just got a couple of sheets of 1200 grit paper for my 13th birthday and guess what i did? i think you are getting there, take a look at the URL[/quote]

      Did you notice my diplomatically-phrased questions underneath?

    • #68714
      Michael
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]
      Jackson again. DON’T handle it, just shoot it
      ‘[/quote]

      oh..easily your best

    • #68664
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Yes, I couldn’t think of a witty comment. I was just, 😯

    • #68653
      Michael
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/gres3.JPG 😯

      [/quote]

      I’m speechless.

    • #68669
      1bassleft
      Participant

      BTW, Lee, I think that one’s a contender for “worst guitar” – there’s more to it than just dodgy finish.

      Anyhoo, I was looking in on the thread by Weapon Zero and found a seller of many a pointy. The thing about pointies is that some of them can be, er, extravagantly finished. Here’s the site, http://www.jcguitars.com/floyd.htm, but I’ll pop up some of my fave funnies:

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/vestass2.JPG A Vester for $500? What a bummer.

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/scorp2.JPG An Ibanez copy (crafted in Cambodia by Pol Pot?)

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/jacnag3.JPG Jackson – nice spray on the pup covers

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/jacsnksd2.JPG Jackson again. DON’T handle it, just shoot it

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/jackelflm2.JPG Flamin’ awful

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/jactd3.JPG Really shouldn’t have put this in the same tub as the navy socks

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/hamstone2.JPG Yep, the black pen’s definitely working now

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/gres3.JPG 😯

      #http://www.jcguitars.com/bcbd2.JPG This is my ‘favourite’

    • #68672
      1bassleft
      Participant

      It’s one of those “psychologist’s blobs” finishes. When he looks at it, the owner can probably see guns, Charlton Heston’s face and dying Democrats.

      Note how that Telecaster-style neck sits oh-so beautifully in the pocket of the LP-style body. A masterpiece.

    • #68696
      lee_UK
      Participant

      http://www.ratemyaxe.com/details.php?image_id=119

      i just got a couple of sheets of 1200 grit paper for my 13th birthday and guess what i did? i think you are getting there, take a look at the URL

    • #68686
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]Oh, I’d prefer a Shark to a Skull any day. At least the shark guitar is fun, whereas the skull is just a bad teenage stereotype.
      [/quote]

      And, if you do that “Schenker” shove guitar in crotch thing, you’d get a really genuine “pained” expression πŸ™‚

    • #68652
      lee_UK
      Participant

      its a mix between left and right handed too, very weird.

    • #68651
      glw
      Participant

      What about these Flip Out guitars:

      #http://www.deweydecibel.com/F-out_Images/Austin.jpg

      http://www.deweydecibel.com/foutintro.html

      Apparently they play really well, but to my eyes everything about them is WRONG!

      If I got my hands on one, I’d want to put the neck on the correct end and move all the other hardware about, fill in the un-needed holes, etc.

    • #68717
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]OK, Jay Turser guitars can be good value. This, though, is just downright silly. Worse, perhaps than those naff “skull” guitars on Lee’s “worst guitar” thread.

      #http://www.nevadamusic.co.uk/ebay/jay-shark.jpg%5B/quote%5D

      Oh, I’d prefer a Shark to a Skull any day. At least the shark guitar is fun, whereas the skull is just a bad teenage stereotype.

    • #68662
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I could maybe stomach 😳 it if it were a Fender, but it’s one of those “apply shop name to Korean product” jobs. It probably sounds as bad as it looks.

    • #68682
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Again the custard colour is quite nice, its a classic Fender so no horrendous colour could ever take the dairy off the pure beauty of the shape and concept…. (BS) πŸ˜†

    • #68675
      1bassleft
      Participant

      #http://i3.ebayimg.com/02/i/05/05/c9/3a_1_b.JPG

      One for the “Birds” – as in custard.

    • #68656
      1bassleft
      Participant

      My 7 y.o thinks the shark guitar is cool, which pretty much sums up the target market, but he thought even those Fendsons were a bit “chintzy” so yer takes yer pick.

      That home-made case is an absolute corker (pardon the pun), especially the stair-thread handle. He could’ve sharpened the lathe tool first.

      BTW, Mrs Bass is a French teacher. I slightly outscored her, but she knew (unlike me) that a pétard is a (firework) banger so she got that Hamlet quote “Like the engineer; hoist by his own petard” correctly translated.

    • #68676
      lee_UK
      Participant

      not a lot wrong with the guitar, but check out the handmade case, oh dear..
      #http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/4859/2234xc.jpg

      wish i had been given a jigsaw and chisel set for christmas…

      #http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6181/3436jh.jpg

      and what about that ‘How to make a coffin in 10 easy steps using a lump of old ply, and a staircase spindle’ book?

    • #68659
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Oh and they retail at between $1,600 – $2,200 mark. a little expensive but not over the top.

    • #68704
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Saw these beauties on the Fendson website, slightly less overstated to the ones Bass posted, and look a very nice guitar..
      #http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/2447/fendsonguitarlafayette1ga.jpg
      #http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/4417/fendsonguitarversailles7vn.jpg
      #http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/9453/fendsonpearlyqueen5jn.jpg

      anybody else drooling??

    • #68702
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Yep, that one is truely naff, its not badly done its just naff, why did they bother? 64/70 is very very good Bass, i didnt even attempt it, my English is’nt that good, did you notice? but then again Mrs Bass is an English teacher so i bet she was helping you.. πŸ˜†
      Im going to have a look at those ricky/firebird guitars, they are very nice indeed.

    • #68694
      1bassleft
      Participant

      OK, Jay Turser guitars can be good value. This, though, is just downright silly. Worse, perhaps than those naff “skull” guitars on Lee’s “worst guitar” thread.

      #http://www.nevadamusic.co.uk/ebay/jay-shark.jpg

    • #68677
      1bassleft
      Participant

      As I said to Vince in his thread, of course it’s not the worst finish out there. It’s just that you’d have to be a touch… flamboyant to use one on stage.

      Incidentally, going back to that “parquet” bass. I was watching “Test the Nation” on BBC tonight (64/70 I scored πŸ˜› ) and they showed a clip of Chas ‘n’ Dave performing “Rabbit” on Top of the Pops. Dave was playing the most awful looking Precision, made from about five different hues of wood. I had a look around the web (even their official website) but no pic of it in action, sadly.

    • #68670
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Thunderbird / Firebird headstock too, but again i would have to say they look quite nice, dont know about the green, but the red and the blue one almost look hypnotic, look into my eyes look into my eyes, not around the eyes but in the eyes….

    • #68557
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I could see the owners of the red and green guitars clashing violently in centuries-long solo wars. The owner of the blue guitar would hang around and jump in once it was a certainty that the red guitar was knackered and at death’s door. Even then, the blue guitar would contrive to crush itself under its own trolley cart.

    • #68491
      Michael
      Participant

      hahaha…

      c’mon 1b.. they are cool. Can you imagine a Knights of the Roundtable themed band, or heck, even a royal themed band. Would be a hoot.

    • #68536
      1bassleft
      Participant
    • #68521
      Michael
      Participant

      Lee please just throw some water on your eyes, wipe, then take another look at it. The flag, the sparkly blue, all we need is 16 cheerleaders reciting the anthem, a rodeo and some fireworks. it’s straight out of a State Fair.

      And yeah it is 1b… and the body and colour in my opinion make for an ugly little bugger, not the worst, but you wouldn’t bother trying to pick it up in a club if it was a broad.

    • #68556
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I presume that’s a BC Rich bass, Mike. If there is anything that makes a bass look ugly, it is a pair of split-coil p’ups. Always looks ghastly, and a Rich body just adds to the eyeache.

      As for grimer up north… is that a pun? Or are you borrowing Mike’s dictionary πŸ˜› ? Grimmer it may be, but I’ve managed to wangle a place with a nice, large garden for my whippet to run around in and the flat cap hangs easy on the lengthy washing line.

      Even so, my “compact” kitchen has an all-in-one washer/dryer. Why? Because it continually and continuously pees down mightily in this bog of a region, that’s why.

      Anyhoo, lets find some more guitar bodies before we develop a “cyclone or bag cleaner?” sub-thread πŸ™‚

    • #68504
      v BONES v
      Participant

      Its not just sparkly, its the coarse texture which really sets it off…oh and the flag…essential!

    • #68512
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]Well it’s a common misconception us aussies even use washing machines…..

      It’s much more Flintstones like down here… but instead of using a terradactals {sp?} beak, we put our clothes in a kangaroos pouch with some water and get em to bounce around.

      ….a newy for the thread…

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/hodad.jpg%5B/quote%5D

      I quite like that one Mike, it has a strange must have quality about it, the shape isnt horendous, and sparkly blue paint is rather alluring..

    • #68548
      v BONES v
      Participant

      I remember when the first Jackson Soloist arrived at our local store, we’d been waiting for literally years for these to arrive from the states – everybody who was anybody played them, weighing in a £1,800 it was one of the most expemsive guitars available (this was when £1,800 was a lot of money – Les Pauls cost half that!)

      There was quite a crowd turned out to check it out “in the flesh” but we all got a bit of a shock. It was a kind of zebra stripe scheme in flourescent lime green and flourescent pink…absolutely bloody disgusting!

      Come to think of it, there were a shedload of horrendous colour schemes for those origiinal Soloists, I bet they were all rejects they couldn’t sell in the states!

    • #68542
      Michael
      Participant
    • #68524
      Michael
      Participant

      Well it’s a common misconception us aussies even use washing machines…..

      It’s much more Flintstones like down here… but instead of using a terradactals {sp?} beak, we put our clothes in a kangaroos pouch with some water and get em to bounce around.

      ….a newy for the thread…

      #http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/guitarczar/hodad.jpg

    • #68563
      lee_UK
      Participant

      its cheaper for LAND (thats a good name for a band) in Australia, you could buy the whole lot for about £150, in the UK if you want a 1ft square piece of garden its gonna cost more than one of Ywengies Ferrari’s. The Vinly/Lino was well spotted though Mike, i didnt see that, of course in the South East of England we all have porcelain tiles and space saving integrated Washing machines, Dishwashers and Tumble dryers… it’s a lot grimer up north… isnt it Bass?

    • #68547
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]Nearly as bad as poms having their washing machines and dryers in the kitchen.. space saver or not… I’d hate it :)[/quote]

      Yeah but we all have titchy little houses, unlike you Australians with your mansions, so we can’t afford the space.

      Anyway, what is a “dryer”? In the UK we hang our washing out on a line in the garden. Those of us lucky enough to have gardens, that is.

    • #68534
      Michael
      Participant

      10 grand for the skull… fark.

      Totally unrelated – but with the kitchen pic… they can afford what looks to be non MDF cheapo changing room cupboards but didn’t chip out a few bucks extra for actual tiles and instead went for vinyl/lino.

      Nearly as bad as poms having their washing machines and dryers in the kitchen.. space saver or not… I’d hate it πŸ™‚

    • #68549
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I’ve just realized why it’s worth so much. Place any metal object (say, a kitchen bar-stool) in the same room and the repellant force is enough to stand the guitar upright without the need for a guitar stand. Handy that, no wonder there isn’t a ding on it.

    • #68506
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]The great thing about this “Feline” Iceman copy on FleebUK is not the blue glitter finish. No, I love how the scratchplate has a perfect image of the previous owner clutching a mobiphone camera. Who wants that on their 2nd hand axe after spunking the requested £1500?
      #http://i15.ebayimg.com/03/i/05/07/fd/32_12_sb.JPG :)[/quote]

      Nice kitchen cupboards though..

    • #68561
      glw
      Participant

      …and another one:

      #http://www.synergyguitars.com/ESP-Guitars/ESP-Guitar-Images/ESP-Vertical-Skull-Guitar.jpg

      A snip at $9,999.00 courtesy of http://www.synergyguitars.com/ESP-Guitars/ESP-Guitars-Current-Inventory.htm

      I’d be embarrassed to be in the same room as it, let alone play it.

    • #68514
      glw
      Participant

      This is typical of the kind of thing I hate to see on a guitar:

      #http://www.synergyguitars.com/ESP-Guitars/ESP-Guitar-Images/ESP-Screaming-Skull-Guitar-Jimmy-Diresta-1-Black.jpg

      It’s so bloody childish.

    • #68553
      Michael
      Participant

      I’m sure the Liberty has come up before..somewhere or rather. But your right about the collectors plates and makes me wonder why no ones trying to offload a Princess Dianna custom.

    • #68530
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Statue of Liberty and the ‘fed flag on one body? You just know it can’t be “made in the USA”. It reminds me of those “limited edition collectors plates” you get in newspaper supplements:
      #http://i4.ebayimg.com/03/i/04/e8/d5/12_1_b.JPG

    • #68551
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The great thing about this “Feline” Iceman copy on FleebUK is not the blue glitter finish. No, I love how the scratchplate has a perfect image of the previous owner clutching a mobiphone camera. Who wants that on their 2nd hand axe after spunking the requested £1500?
      #http://i15.ebayimg.com/03/i/05/07/fd/32_12_sb.JPG πŸ™‚

    • #68554
      Tim
      Participant

      Thanks Italos, I like it with the satin finish it used to be VERY high gloss which exagerated the cheesy 80’s rock shape, but sounds sweet and its black so I’m happy.

      Tim.

    • #68522
      italos
      Participant

      Lol no besides it’s a beauty congrats!!!!

    • #68502
      Tim
      Participant

      Just remembered, this thread is supposed to be the worst finish on a guitar, oops, hope thats not why you asked to see it πŸ˜•

      Tim.

    • #68516
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”italos”]Man now i’m curious….show me please!!!!i can’t have someone describing something and not showing to me πŸ˜€ :D[/quote]

      I know it was 2 weeks ago but I’m slack, sorry. As promised I finally did the photobucket thingy:

      #http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b378/subphonic/Bass800wide3.jpg

      Like I said black…all black…with my adjusted strap buttons (and ‘experimental’ screw hole, oops)

      Tim.

    • #68560
      lee_UK
      Participant

      My Dad went to see the Minter vs Haggler fight, he said he went to get a crate of beers, struggled over to his seat, heard the bell ring, sat down looked up and it was all over, he said he never got time to get the bottle opener out of his pocket, then of course everybody started throwing bottles in the ring, total disgrace… does this go down as the furthest post off topic? ugly guitars to Alan Minter in 3 steps via the Yammamoto!!

    • #68493
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Close, Lee – I’m impressed. The Yamato was a blimmin’ great big battleship. Sunk by waves of US bomber attacks in 1945. I won’t go into the details as it is a bit off topic, as you say. Besides, I can hear my “military history” anorak rustling πŸ™‚

    • #68518
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Is that Yamato guitar named after the ill fated Japanese aircraft carrier from WWII ?? it went down faster than Alan Minter when he boxed Marvin Haggler at the Battle of Midway ? or was it the Yammamoto? someone help me out here, i know its a bit off topic.. πŸ˜†

    • #68508
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The only redeeming feature of a Yamato I have (same production as Maya and CMI, I’m sure) is a lovely maple neck. Nice grain, beautiful gloss laquer (I know, it slows you down, but it looks and feels so much nicer than today’s satin), but the tuners are awful. From the butt-joint back, totally unpleasant features.

      I was eyeing a Maya lefty Jazz solely because of its black-block fret markers. A sleeper neck, but the bidding went past £100 and there’s too much ancillary junk to be paying that kind of money.

    • #68499
      lee_UK
      Participant

      There certainly are some gems, i have a Tokai ‘Reborn’ 1979 LP copy, the tone is stunning, but i did change the pups for a pair of Seymour Duncan Pearly Gates, i played it at a recent gig and it played as good as my 1989 Gibson LP standard. i have a Maya Tele from 1980 and the hardware is total rubbish but the neck is solid maple and a great player, and the boddy solid ash, Satelitte, and colombus are truely awful because they have no quality features, wonky necks, laminated 12lb bodies, tone sucking pickups, crackly underated pots, slipping machine heads, and crap finnishes.

    • #68552
      glw
      Participant

      …but then again there are goodies to be found. I’ve got a Japanese 70s “Sanox Sound Creator” Strat (perspex body – I put up a picture of it on another thread) that I actually prefer to my 2004 Fender Strat (also Japanese).

    • #68555
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]NOT all japanese 70’s copy guitars were good[/quote]

      Lee’s absolutely right (in fact, a lot of 70s US guitars weren’t great but that’s another thread), don’t pay money for any old guitar because it’s a “Japanese 70s classic”. I grew up with the things. The Fuji-Gen-Gakki factory were producing great instruments (Tokai, Greko and, to a lesser extent, Antoria) as were many Yamahas of this period.

      There were also rubbish little workshops turning out rubbish little guitars. Beware the fleeb auction that says the following makes emanated from the F-G-G shop (or “made on the same production line as the legendary Tokai”):

      Columbus, Satellite, Maya, Yamato, Avon and the re-badged CMI guitars were made in Japan (in the 70s, Japanese labour costs were relatively low) but not to the same standard. The hardware and ply bodies can be criminally bad. They are many, many times worse than the sub-a-ton beginner instruments you can buy brand new today.

    • #68529
      italos
      Participant

      ouuuu now i’m sad πŸ™
      I thought you were concerned about my little baby……..

    • #68487
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Sorry i was getting you mixed up with Jimmy, been a long day, and that Colombus guitar brought back a lot of bad memories..

    • #68538
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]Talking of bad guitar finnishes Italos, how is your project guitar coming along?? :)[/quote]
      The what? i’m not the one painting my guitar you should ask jimmy…now if i misunderstood and you mean the problems i had with the wavering note mentioned on that other thread, it’s solved!!! i spent an hour with the technitian trying to figure out what’s wrong till we realised the strings were difective from the factory….
      i didn’t get uch sleep so sorry if i’m missing something,i’ve met my limits of insomnia

      EDIT: Um technician that is….zzzzzzzz

    • #68544
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Ive had my ‘Colombus’ guitar rants in the past, and ive made it my mission in life to steer people away from these truely awful guitars, they have no redeeming features, so i just thought i would post this one up as a WARNING to unsupecting young bidders, NOT all japanese 70’s copy guitars were good, this example looks like it was used by a ‘Who’ tribute band for the last number of the set… beware.
      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/COLUMBUS-JAPANESE-LES-PAUL-GUITAR-PROJECT_W0QQitemZ7352921915QQcategoryZ42455QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #68550
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Talking of bad guitar finnishes Italos, how is your project guitar coming along?? πŸ™‚

    • #68527
      italos
      Participant

      Well the tele is waisted now….it’s gonna need some years of psycological treatment to overcome the devastation of being held by……it,he-who-has-no-name….gorsh!!!!!

    • #68559
      glw
      Participant

      If I remember rightly Blair was playing the Tele at a school visit he made, there was a band there made up of some of the pupils and they roped him in on guitar. So, the Tele belonged to someone else.

    • #68562
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Blimey, this topic of Lee’s has a life of his own πŸ˜› . Fender, back in ’97, noticed TB carrying a Strat into 10 Downing St and gave him freebie membership of the “Fender Club”. First time I’ve seen him sporting a Tele, but “impeccable research” (plagiarized off the net) reveals that Tony + Tele is a “Weapon of Mass Destruction”, that can wipe out half the population as soon as a Gmaj7sus is strummed. According to the latest intelligence, Tony is only 45 years away from learning and deploying this chord.

      A coalition pre-emptive strike is required right now to remove this imminent threat to all we hold dear. If all posters can cough up for the cost of a 13amp fuse, a metal coathanger and a stainless steel plectrum, Lee and I can do the rest πŸ˜†

    • #68540
      lee_UK
      Participant

      i remember the days when the Damned supported Eric, great picture, who was the guy im thinking of who became a postman?, it was punk days 76-78, a great songwriter, was on the Robert Elms show couple of months back….. now i wont be able to sleep.

    • #68497
      glw
      Participant

      No, Eric is still gigging. He mainly plays solo these days and can put on a very entertaining show – just him and a guitar.

      #http://www.ginasnowdoll.com/music/eric_290804_02.jpg
      This is a pic I took of him in August of last year. Nice Gibson 330, eh?

      He released a really impressive album last year too, called “Bungalow Hi” and also recenlty wrote an autobiography “A Dysfunctional Success”.

      See him on tour later this year supporting The Damned.

      http://www.wrecklesseric.com

    • #68495
      vitaminE
      Participant

      In ’86 or so I found a Wreckless Eric import EP in the bargain bin at the local record store – Rags and Tatters, Personal Hygene, etc. I’ve been a fan ever since. Politics aside, it’s too bad that a person can’t “unsee” things because that image really sucks. I’m gonna have to surf a lot of porn to erase that one. Thanks a bunch, Italos!

    • #68500
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Is Wreckless now a postman? he was one of the best, funny guy too.

    • #68489
      glw
      Participant

      I remember Wreckless Eric commenting on his website that that photo made him want to never play the guitar again.

    • #68532
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Should put any one off the Telecaster for life, guitars and suits just dont look right. πŸ˜† (smileys especialy for you glw)

    • #68485
      italos
      Participant

      [quote]OK, how about the Kirk Hammett “Ouija” decal kit for your superstrat?[/quote]

      Gosh!!!Why do something like that in a such a fine piece???OMG

      Check this one….
      What is that strange and ugly looking thing all AROUND the poor guitar???
      #http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Politics/Pix/pictures/2003/05/06/guitar.jpg
      ugh!!!

    • #68558
      glw
      Participant
    • #68546
      glw
      Participant

      Sorry, it was just a rant, which was aimed at modern society in general rather than any one person.

      I’ll go and find a particualrly hideous looking guitar to show you all now, just to get the thread back on track.

    • #68510
      italos
      Participant

      This really goes off topic and i’m truly sorry.
      I really hate smileys too, as far as i’m concerned though the πŸ™‚ is sometimes useful in order not be misunderstood since it’s text only communication and of course we can’t go putting the {}()[] symbols with a comment like “joking” inside….this is not a script, or book.But really now people just overdid it with the smileys just think of the F*** msn messenger and the crap it comes packed with….anyway.Sorry for posting off topic again but i thought i should straighten out my views…
      [quote]italos we just don’t care, just shut the F**** up and stop posting crap!!!!![/quote]:):)

    • #68564
      Tim
      Participant

      Me too, I thought I was being sarcastic enough but it just goes to show the power of the little yellow ones, maybe they’ll replace our cumbersome language one day?

      πŸ˜€ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜† ❗ 😑 😯 ➑ πŸ˜‰

      Tim.

      EDIT: ok but I need to do that whole photobucket thing, I’ll get round to it…

    • #68383
      glw
      Participant

      [quote=”Tim”]Sorry, I forgot my smiley… πŸ˜† !![/quote]

      I hate smileys. If people would articulate themselves properly in their use of language in the first place then there would be no need for the f***ing things.

      What next? TXT SPK?

      Please, I implore you, NO!!!!!

      For hundreds of years the written English language has survived without such primitive devices for the brain-dead. Don’t help kill it off!

      Rant over.

    • #68396
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Well, I’m going to stick my butt in the kicking line. I like the PCB finish. I don’t like the bodyshape, I don’t like the “1 rosewood, 1 maple” fingerboard hotchpotch, I especially don’t like the player’s expression (“should I push this one out and risk a follow-through?”), but I do like the PCB finish.

      Go ahead, kick me.[/quote]

      Good one Bass, you had me going there for a moment, can i quote Jim Royal from the Royals?? ‘PCB my arse’ πŸ˜†

    • #68377
      italos
      Participant

      Man now i’m curious….show me please!!!!i can’t have someone describing something and not showing to me πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    • #68400
      Tim
      Participant

      Sorry, I forgot my smiley… πŸ˜† !!

      Just not cup of tea really, my main bass is satin black with black hardwear and I’ve put black electrical tape over the logo cos it was a bit garish…

    • #68392
      glw
      Participant

      The body shape actually makes some sense because he’s tried to keep it as compact as possible without turning it into a small rectangular Steinberger-esque effort.

    • #68414
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Well, I’m going to stick my butt in the kicking line. I like the PCB finish. I don’t like the bodyshape, I don’t like the “1 rosewood, 1 maple” fingerboard hotchpotch, I especially don’t like the player’s expression (“should I push this one out and risk a follow-through?”), but I do like the PCB finish.

      Go ahead, kick me.

    • #68376
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]http://www.spasticink.com/inkdoubleneck.html

      if you look at this strange guitar the Circuit diagram design is actualy a working circuit, its very clever, if you put a 100MA 9v DC supply between Resistor 9 and Capacitor 2 and then appiled the toggle switch pictured just below and to the right of Resistor 12 you would cause the pickups to ‘pulse’ out a string of morse code, when decoded this would read ‘I look a right Tosser with this pretencious peice of shite round my neck’ . Very clever.[/quote]
      Ok i don’t see any smileys around and just read TIM’s reply you’re all serious?
      TELL ME YOU’RE KIDDING!!!

    • #68407
      Tim
      Participant

      Cunning, sheds a whole new light on it.

    • #68393
      lee_UK
      Participant

      http://www.spasticink.com/inkdoubleneck.html

      if you look at this strange guitar the Circuit diagram design is actualy a working circuit, its very clever, if you put a 100MA 9v DC supply between Resistor 9 and Capacitor 2 and then appiled the toggle switch pictured just below and to the right of Resistor 12 you would cause the pickups to ‘pulse’ out a string of morse code, when decoded this would read ‘I look a right Tosser with this pretencious peice of shite round my neck’ . Very clever.

    • #68388
      Tim
      Participant

      Sorry KJP but they do look a bit ‘my A-level woodwork’ meets ‘my GCSE Conceptual Art’ to me. I presume he plays fantastically and probably earns a lot more than me but…

    • #68413
      italos
      Participant

      [quote=”KJP”]Anyone familiar with Ron Jarzombek’s custom guitars?
      I consider them being anything but bad looking, though.

      http://www.spasticink.com/gtrs.html%5B/quote%5D

      Man pleeeeeeeeease!!!!i don’t like to offend people but c’mon the guy’s guitars are all like his music TOTAL GROSS!!!

    • #68415
      italos
      Participant

      Hey kjp πŸ™‚ welcome….
      check the links i sent you and die out of laughter

    • #68386
      KJP
      Participant

      Anyone familiar with Ron Jarzombek’s custom guitars?
      I consider them being anything but bad looking, though.

      http://www.spasticink.com/gtrs.html

    • #68398
      glw
      Participant

      Don’t worry about it. I was just hoping someone would add some more multi-stringed monsters to that thread.

    • #68410
      italos
      Participant

      Wops!!!Sorry!!! 😳 Erm….what can i say?don’t shoot.
      I should’ve known that in a guitar forum there HAD to be someone who knew….or many…gosh πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      you can’t expect from someone new to had read all the previous threads now… πŸ˜† i’ll be more carefull from now on
      The link about the sympitar is very interesting though…i would really like to listen how it sounds…

    • #68416
      glw
      Participant
    • #68395
      italos
      Participant

      Man sorry for bringing this up again…but what is the problem with the rockon DAMMIT guy???
      Browsing his site felt like, i don’t know strange…I felt kinda sad you know i had glw’s comment in my head that he might be a special needs child…Well no kidding that IS a possibility…god i wish i hadn’t clicked on the link, i’m quite sensitive you know πŸ™
      Oh check these:
      This is the Picasso guitar(not really related to the topic but check this out)
      #http://www.jazztokyo.com/interview/vol10b/image/11.jpg

      And it works!!!Pat Metheny is the guy-you should listen to him

      And this is just an ugly one WTF?
      #http://members.jcom.home.ne.jp/masaruy/image/Guitar/picaso1.JPG

    • #68419
      Michael
      Participant

      There was just something about the MTV guitars raw shittyness – it took the worst of DIY, colour and concept and combined them to make what I also think is one of the ugliest POS guitars ever conceived. God have mercy on its creator.

    • #68404
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Anybody remember that MTV guitar i flashed up on here? the pink one? that still has to be number one in the ugly stakes.

    • #68385
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I bet my bottom we’re (or “where” sic) talking about a she, here. No self-respecting type lists Avril Lavigne in the faves, links to “Megan’s site” and has a “dolls” page, unless she’s in touch with (frankly, completely throttled by) her feminine side.

      My other favourite quote is, “i have one simular but mines black”.

      Allegedly, that was a problem that Adolf had, but he’d shoot his doctor if the word got out πŸ˜† . Three grammar/spelling errors in a six-word phrase; I feel strangely drawn into the world of Rock-on, Dammit! – must stay away from this thread 😯

    • #68399
      Tim
      Participant

      Anybody click on the ‘Dolls’ link?…

    • #68412
      glw
      Participant

      I like the bit at the top of the page where he has a photo fo some Strats and says: “These Are Fenders, I Like Fenders. There awsome

      He truly must be Special Needs Child.

    • #68389
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I had another click on that site. Weirdly enough, I got to the bottom and there was an ad, “Does someone you know have Alzheimers?”

      Must’ve been coincidence. I love these “my crud” sites, filling up the bandwidth with suchlike.

    • #68379
      Tim
      Participant

      Let me get this straight he loves the cardboard bass with the interesting pickup layout, wants an inflatable guitar but thinks the Pearl kit is Ok but not as good as his (a ‘really awsome’ biscuit tin maybe?!)?

    • #68391
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Better still, the bass has a split-pickup stylee but using two Jazz pups. There are pole-pieces dangling in fresh air with nothing to do. “Awesome!” alright, but not quite in the way meant. Blimmin’ ugly, too. Even a Death player wouldn’t use it, surely?

    • #68380
      glw
      Participant

      Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

      Check out this page, third guitar picture down…

      http://rockondammit.tripod.com/id6.html

      Quote: “This Is an AWSOME Guitar i love the shape, i have one simular but mines black.”

      Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis? That hideous THING trying (and failing miserably) to look like a B C Rich is quite obviously made out of cardboard! Check out the frets too – there’s some very strange spacing going on there!

      Mind, the kid who wrote that page does seem to have some problems spelling some of the most basic words, so perhaps he’s a Special Needs Child and shouldn’t be laughed at.

    • #68406
      lee_UK
      Participant

      you must be dreaming mike, nobody would stoop to those depths, unthinkable.

    • #68409
      Michael
      Participant

      am i just dreaming or did someone post a harry potter guitar in this thread? surely there is one – and im guessing taking to tack to new levels.

    • #68382
      glw
      Participant

      Didn’t Fernandes produce a range of guitars featuring Star Wars artwork?

    • #68403
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Nice action, absolutly stunning, well ballanced, sits nicely on a strap, well thats enough about the model, this guitar looks offensive and i cant beleive there are 3 bids on it, read the description, he’s very imagnative.

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/UNIQUE-ELECTRIC-GUITAR-BRAND-NEW_W0QQitemZ7350774186QQcategoryZ47074QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    • #68421
      lee_UK
      Participant

      this one is quite bad, its not a pro job, looks s bit Bob Ross, i think the guy found and airbrush kit in the attic and foolishly unleashed it on a perfectly good guitar..

      http://www.sveeart.co.uk/images/starwars01.jpg

      http://www.sveeart.co.uk/images/starwars02.jpg

      http://www.sveeart.co.uk/images/starwars04.jpg

      http://www.sveeart.co.uk/images/starwars03.jpg

    • #68390
      glw
      Participant

      That’s almost as bad as carving an X right though the body. I mean, who would do a thing like that?

    • #68420
      Tim
      Participant

      Unfortunately I’ve since covered (bodyfillered) the evidence but I’ve got an Epiphone SG which my freind carved a 5-10mm DEEP lizard into which he then painted blue and gold! His arguement was that the previous owner scratched his girlfreinds name into it and he had to remove it. It was the grunge era…

    • #68405
      glw
      Participant

      Oh dear, that guitar is almost worth buying just for the comedy value!

    • #68417
      Michael
      Participant

      You know theres something wrong when a thread turns to knocking “models” in thigh length socks πŸ˜†

      The animated gif down the far right of this one makes it look even 10x worse – http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7328936314&ssPageName=MERC_VI_RSCC_Pr4_PcY_BIN_Stores

    • #68418
      glw
      Participant

      I’m 41 and I still don’t find socks sexy.

    • #68411
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”glw”]

      (and why is the dodgy looking model wearing thigh-length socks in the last picture?)[/quote]

      some people have a thing about thigh length socks.. πŸ˜› might just help sell the guitar, when you get older (im 40) you lose the dodgy looking bit

    • #68378
      glw
      Participant

      And from the same seller and manufacturer (with a different model this time), what’s the deal with this guitar: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7342401588&ssPageName=MERC_VI_RSCC_Pr4_PcY_BID_Stores

      I mean who wants a guitar covered in eyes? What’s that all about?

    • #68375
      glw
      Participant

      Here’s another example… http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/The-new-Keiper-Resolute-top-Technic-and-top-Design-136_W0QQitemZ7342401530QQcategoryZ2384QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      American patriotism gone mad!

      (and why is the dodgy looking model wearing thigh-length socks in the last picture?)

    • #68397
      glw
      Participant

      Oh dear. Some people try too hard.

      Didn’t anyone ever tell them that less is more?

    • #68408
      lee_UK
      Participant
    • #68387
      philvis
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”]OK, ive said this on another thread, but i think one of the worst finishes to my eyes, is this:
      http://www.pittsburghguitars.com/collantigua.html
      some will disagree, some will say there are worse, but how many will say they love it??[/quote]

      I love the antiguas in the photo,however in person well thats another story

    • #68381
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Has anyone posted up any hondo II’s? or Colombus? i could go on night about those 2 makers…

    • #68384
      glw
      Participant

      I quite like the green, but not with the red tortoiseshell scratchplate.

    • #68394
      HigherPerspective
      Participant

      Man, those are fugly guitars. Check this one out. #http://www.zen-pharaohs.com/guitars/images/pizza_vomit.jpg

    • #68402
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Thanks, I wondered. I remember the Distortocaster back from when I worked on a British magazine. I never touched it, but the people in the office told me it definitely worked.

      Those other “Eastwood” guitars I’m keeping my wallet closed on. I’m waiting for the “White Stripes Starter Pack” to come out. I gather it contains the guitar, drumkit, sister/ex-wife (with realistic “special needs” fringe) and a pair of splish-splash tom-tom sticks. What I really want is the songbook, “Dead Simple Riffs You Wish You’d Thought of, But You Didn’t and They Did, So They’re Rich and You’re Not”

      πŸ˜† , but credit to them

    • #68401
      glw
      Participant

      No. Brian Eastwood the British luthier who was responsible for the Distortocaster is not connected with Eastwood Guitars – http://www.myrareguitars.com/Eastwood.html – who produce a series of “radical vintage remakes”.

    • #68373
      1bassleft
      Participant

      The weird thing is; a distortocaster worked (in exactly the same way that a Hondo didn’t). Are they in any way related to the “Eastwood – Jack White” specimens?

    • #68372
      glw
      Participant

      And here’s another scary design on a production guitar… Who remembers the Gibson Corvus?

      #http://www.muc.de/~hm/music/Guitars/gibson-corvus-82973530/gibson-corvus-1983-2.JPG

    • #68374
      glw
      Participant

      #http://www.ginasnowdoll.com/guitarz/bender.jpg

      It’s a Strat that’s had a make-over by Salvador Dali.

      There was a guy recently selling one of these on eBay and also a Collision bass.

      They are made by Brian Eastwood (whose website now seems to be dead, unfortunately).

    • #68303
      glw
      Participant

      Hey I’m Welsh, so let’s not have any welsh-bashing, thank you very much!

      Look again at the Welsh flag and you’ll see it’s a red dragon and not bloody bat girl.

      Anyway, some great bands have come out of Wales, e.g. the magnificient Super Furry Animals.

      OK, I’m off to find a picture of a Distortocaster for you.

    • #68309
      lee_UK
      Participant

      The devil girl guitar looks a bit Welsh, and anything that looks remotely Welsh goes into premier league status, top 10 definatly, cant look R’n’R with lookie likey red dragon round your neck, nobody who ever made it big from Wales went back there to live…. πŸ˜† boyo.

    • #68317
      rayc
      Participant

      Please. I would love to know what a “Distortcaster” looks like.

    • #68275
      glw
      Participant

      I believe the ESP Devil Girl body was moulded from some kind of plastic, so who knows…

      It might look better melted.

      Dare I post a picture of the Bender Distortocaster at this point?

    • #68283
      1bassleft
      Participant

      glw, although Lee is desperate to win a trophy, I rule all your entries as admissable eye-ache. The sprained-class “Birth of Jesus” Gibson… 😯 … Did any examples survive an immediate strike from a bolt of lightning? And the Epiphone has to be towed to gigs by some porky diesel saloon? I love the ‘attractive’ bint modelling it. The same tactic is used with full-size caravans, draped with totty. The subliminal message is, “No, you are not middle-aged for wanting this comfortable 4-berther with chemical toilet! You really are a wildchild freedom-seeker getting back to nature – and 20somethings in bikinis will fancy you, honestly”

      Is it just me, or does that ESP look like it will melt if placed too near a radiator?

    • #68292
      glw
      Participant

      OK, in that case I have another one for you.

      The ESP Devil Girl:

      #http://www.guitarhangar.com/guitars/images/esp_devilgirl.jpg

    • #68319
      lee_UK
      Participant

      that one counts, it is truely hideous, and i cant imagine anyone wanting to buy it, so its a good ‘un. πŸ˜†

    • #68274
      glw
      Participant

      Well, since you brought Epiphone up, what about the hideous Air Screamer? I mean, who in their right mind would want a guitar styled after a caravan?

      #http://www.epiphone.com/images/parisguitar.jpg

      http://www.epiphone.com/news.asp?NewsID=116

      Or does it not count because we’re now getting into the realm of weird shaped guitars rather than just ‘orrible finishes?

    • #68320
      lee_UK
      Participant

      The Gibson Birth of Christ is a classic one off ‘Duffer’, but it’s a one off, and surely can not beat my Epiphone Bob Marley, available in all your local guitar shops, it is truely awful and one look at it will confirm this and i will get the vote for having found the worst guitar finish.
      Thank you.. πŸ˜†

    • #68293
      glw
      Participant

      The Gibson “Birth of Christ” guitar has to be one of the most hideous designs I’ve ever seen on a guitar:

      #http://www.gibson.com/whatsnew/pressrelease/2000/img/christmas/front.jpg

      http://www.gibson.com/whatsnew/pressrelease/2000/dec11a.html

    • #68304
      Michael
      Participant

      Or the Joe Perry hot sauce… imagine a guitarist making sauces …oh wait…

      This little gem comes once again from the oh so tasteful brits:

      [URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/8162/ovation2gb.jpg%5B/URL%5D

    • #68282
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Hmm, could be a (no-prize) idea for spoof endorsements…

      Like the Clapton-endorsed “make 20bpm history” wristband. Simplyt twist it enough times and watch those solos fly off the fretboard.

      Or the Slash-endorsed “headstock protector”. Titanium plate, can withstand a full pack of Camels burning.

      OTOH, could be another one of those “rubbish ideas from Bass” TM.

    • #68284
      Michael
      Participant

      Endorsers is a whole new thread of its own πŸ™‚

    • #68299
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Just thinking about the other endorsers for the Mach IV…

      David Soul… Paul Michael Glaser… Antonio Fargas…

      I’m fond of the “competition” Mustang, but there are limits (or, in fact, there aren’t. That’s why this thread’s running πŸ™‚ )

    • #68301
      Michael
      Participant

      [quote]Just to clarify, the nice DiPinto is which one exactly? [/quote]

      The Cheap Trick Mach IV… the only band to make bathroom floor tiles look cool. πŸ™‚

    • #68287
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]Oh come on 1b… they arent all that bad … Most .. yes… but not all. [/quote]

      Just to clarify, the nice DiPinto is which one exactly? πŸ˜› Congrats on finding the “Changing Rooms” Lime Green-MDF acoustic, BTW πŸ™‚

    • #68306
      Michael
      Participant

      Secondly, The Axe –

      [URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/1791/theaxe6jh.jpg%5B/URL%5D

    • #68300
      Michael
      Participant

      Firstly the 99 cent Green Goblin –

      [URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/9172/greengoblin3vl.jpg%5B/URL%5D

    • #68273
      Michael
      Participant

      Oh come on 1b… they arent all that bad … Most .. yes… but not all. πŸ˜€

    • #68296
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Oh, and please have a look at http://www.dipintoguitars.com before coming to any decision. Wall-to-wall iris-torture.

    • #68305
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Of course, where else? As found in the British Lions changing rooms, perhaps? πŸ˜₯

    • #68281
      Michael
      Participant

      Where else but eBay UK.

    • #68295
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Lee, somehow, I just knew you’d like the pearloid Strat πŸ˜› . The question is, which does the vinyl suck fastest; the looks or the tone? Set your stopwatches! Mike, where did that aberration come from? Daisyrock meets Bertie Bassett?

    • #68307
      Michael
      Participant

      Speaking of Changing Rooms, I’m sure I’ve seen Laurence in the same floral suit pattern as this….

      [URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/4093/flowerpower4nc.jpg%5B/URL%5D

    • #68321
      lee_UK
      Participant

      That Brandoni is quite tasty, As for the Disney. i didnt realise it was a limited run, i thought it was a one off, so its in the running, it is truely tacky, i wonder if they managed to shift the whole 150 guitars?

    • #68288
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Oh, so the Russians are allowed? I didn’t realize the gloves are off…

      From the Brandoniguitars website, this pearloid-covered Strat copy doesn’t do justice. I have their catalogue, costing £1 for the privilege of some of the most lovingly-stapled pages of unremitting eye-ache yet seen. The “engraved and jewelled” ones are something else:

      #http://www.brandoniguitars.co.uk/images/images/sparklstr.jpg

      ps, dave – I thought I was a self-styled Fenix/YC expert. I had no idea they carried on long enough to be inspired by the “Changing Rooms” distressed-glaze look. Perhaps they went on to do the Lime-Green MDF model with rag-roll effect?

      pps, Lee – the Custom Shop Disney job I posted is one of a 150 (thankfully) limited edition. I’m nigh-certain that the original Disney-present was a carved top, with Mickey jumping out at you. Oh, the horror 😯

    • #68278
      Michael
      Participant

      This thread just keeps getting cheesier and cheesier with each post and I’m lovin it.

      Rocklogicxx, thanks for showing us that one, I’m sure it’s your pride and joy! πŸ™‚

      Ray I will be sending you a bill from my optomotrist re: the BigBeat.

      No prize as of yet Lee, but I’m thinking maybe a bit further down the track we might have to hold a poll so we can all vote on one. As for a prize, no promises as of yet πŸ™‚

    • #68286
      rayc
      Participant
    • #68279
      rayc
      Participant
    • #68308
      rayc
      Participant

      From a site dedicated to cheesy guitars. They have some that are even cheesier than this one:
      #http://www.meatexz.com/cheesyguitars/solo/solo2-tom.jpg

    • #68290
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”rayc”]I think Mickey Mouse and company take the prize for tackiness.[/quote]

      But the mickey mouse was a one off for a single customer (Michael Jackson?) where as my WINNING guitar is made by the masses for the masses, and as for the Fenix, is that the best you can offer?? roll on the prize money…. by the way Michael / Jason, what is the prize for the best offering? a Bulsara Special??? πŸ˜†

    • #68312
      Rocklogicxxxxx
      Participant

      [quote=”1bassleft”]Now, on downright tackiness, that is definitley a contender. The “Rastafaraiiii!” fretboard markers, the photo-print Marley-face. Are there no limits to the depths that the epiphone name can be dragged down to?[/quote]

      Check out my Fenix Charvelle type thing for a nice, sedate, sensible finish.

      http://rocklogic-music.blogspot.com/

    • #68316
      rayc
      Participant

      I think Mickey Mouse and company take the prize for tackiness.

    • #68294
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Now, on downright tackiness, that is definitley a contender. The “Rastafaraiiii!” fretboard markers, the photo-print Marley-face. Are there no limits to the depths that the epiphone name can be dragged down to?

    • #68291
      lee_UK
      Participant

      STOP THE COMPETITION, IVE JUST WON WITH THIS:
      ok it has to be a pointless fininsh, this person was a great songwriter/performer/artist/icon BUT he was’nt anything special on the fingerboard, infact he was damn right mediocre, also this guitar is a tribute guitar, looks nothing like the original just a totaly pointless tribute to the artist, and, the original artists guitar was a load of cack too, it was no ’59 Jimmy Page Les Paul, and it sounds complete rubbish (i actualy saw and played one of these tributes at a guitar show a couple of years ago) AND it’s over priced too, so i think i win… now for the speech, i would like to thank…. oh sorry here is the guitar, get ready for the big cringe…
      http://www.epiphone.com/default.asp?ProductID=211&CollectionID=6

    • #68297
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”][URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/5135/brianwilson7uw.jpg%5B/URL%5D

      Let the talking Brian Wilson watch over you.. there’s just something Chucky about it.[/quote]

      Better and better, it’s just a sick idea, Brian Wilson? was he an innovative player? did he push the boundries of bass playing? Yet again Michael pulls the big 50lb pike out of the lake. πŸ˜†

    • #68302
      Michael
      Participant
    • #68313
      vitaminE
      Participant

      Outstanding, Michael! That’s the coolest (strangest) P-Bass that I’ve ever seen. Can you provide us with a brief history of the instrument?

    • #68277
      Michael
      Participant

      [URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/5135/brianwilson7uw.jpg%5B/URL%5D

      Let the talking Brian Wilson watch over you.. there’s just something Chucky about it.

    • #68289
      Michael
      Participant

      [URL=http://www.imageshack.us]#http://img61.imageshack.us/img61/932/flower7lc.jpg%5B/URL%5D

      flowers for added touch

    • #68311
      Michael
      Participant

      The gun one is bad Lee.. but it’s no bowling ball πŸ™‚ I don’t mind the far upper right.

    • #68285
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Michael”]I believe the method for painting them was to leave em out on the beach for few hours.. throw some hot chips on em and let the seagulls do the rest. πŸ™‚

      In defence of fender but… http://www.fendereurope.com/news/images/10_cs_strats-2.jpg

      .[/quote]

      Well done Mike, you have found it!! this for me says it all, take a look at the one with the 3D relief guns on it, it just says it all, can you imagine the sales pitch? and the discussion with the Fender Custom Shop boys? snigger snigger, and it just goes to show, money talks, nobody stood up in the custom shop and said ‘NO, this is going too far!! ‘ this gets my No1 vote πŸ˜†

    • #68318
      SB
      Participant

      Please 1bL,

      Isn’t it hard enough being an American these days without throwing this in our face. I’m so ashamed, my only hope is that no one bought it. SB

    • #68280
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I thought the “spatter” had a clear pickguard but obviously not, as there is no rear rout apart from the trem. While searching for something else, I found out these are aluminium hollow-bodies.

      I did have a copy of Fender Frontline mag and, inside, was a pic of a Custom Shop “Disneyland” Strat to celebrate some anniversary of the place. Wood-bodied, but still as gaudy and tasteless as the themepark itself:
      #http://www.stratcollector.com/private/archives/distrat2.jpg

    • #68310
      Michael
      Participant

      I believe the method for painting them was to leave em out on the beach for few hours.. throw some hot chips on em and let the seagulls do the rest. πŸ™‚

      In defence of fender but… http://www.fendereurope.com/news/images/10_cs_strats-2.jpg

      Edit: 1bl pics came out looking weird because they have a white border… made for a white background.

    • #68315
      bulsara
      Participant

      Hi guys,

      This sucker makes the bowling ball/marble look like a Da Vinci.

      http://www.musik-service.de/ProduX/Gitarren/EGitarren/Fender_Stratocaster_Splatter_Drop_BLK.htm

      Sorry I was so quick to nominate the bowling ball/marble strat.

      Believe it or not they call this a “splatter strat”.

      Has Fender stopped making guitars?

    • #68276
      1bassleft
      Participant

      don’t know why the Basslab pics came over all funny. They’re strange enough without gremlins getting in the way…

    • #68298
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Sorry, the Antigua is a bad idea, but the bowling ball is the product of a sick (literally) mind. OK, found the barmiest guitar. Now, spare a thought for the complete lack of logic that makes some bass players open a wallet. Not, strictly, a ‘finish’ problem – just barking mad all over. NB, these aren’t from the back pages of the catalogue where the kid’s toys are – these are high-end, wallet wringers. Step forward Ritter:

      #http://www.die-linke-bass-saite.de/bilder/baesse3/ritter_basses_seal7.jpg

      #http://www.die-linke-bass-saite.de/bilder/baesse3/ritter_basses_classic7.jpg

      and Basslab:

      #http://www.die-linke-bass-saite.de/bilder/baesse3/basslab-l-bow.gif

      #http://www.die-linke-bass-saite.de/bilder/baesse3/basslab-classic_head_V.gif

      #http://www.die-linke-bass-saite.de/bilder/baesse3/basslab-std5.gif

      I rest my case (containing a dubious-looking, “Bird’s eye Koa” topped eye-acher:

      #http://www.leftybass.com/oz_osborne_reed.jpg
      My main bass 😯

    • #68314
      Michael
      Participant

      Well it was no definite winner, just a possible… maybe we have a showdown on the horizon πŸ˜€

      I’ve taken a second look at the Antigua and it hurts my eyes. I’m not sure if it’s just the dodgy photograph or both.

    • #68272
      lee_UK
      Participant

      1. i think the Antigua strat is far more horrid than the Marble Bowling ball.
      2. The Mick Ronson has my tongue hanging out…. whats wrong with it? what am i missing?
      3. i would love to take Camilla doggy style in the stable, i bet she goes like a train, and im waiting for her to feature in this months FHM.
      (8 tins of Export will now never make it back to Denmark)

    • #68151
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I think we know the women in magazines that have a “certain appeal” for Lee… staples through their midriff. Mind you, with her money, Camilla’s already had that done. Gruesome thought… 😯

      Speaking of gruesome; if you’d had another 7 tinnies, Lee, then retched over a nearby Strat (Gibby-lover that you are πŸ˜‰ ), you’d have got your own “bowling ball” finish. Adding my own congrats to Buls – “millenial post competition” winner and GNW featured all in the same week. Does life get any better? πŸ™‚

    • #68185
      Michael
      Participant

      Your eyes Lee, they’re playing mind games on you. Open up a womens mag and tell me if you find Carmilla Parker Bowles has a “certain appeal”?

      Buls.. you made into GNW “And Finally…” … Whilst we have had some mighty finds, I think most of us would agree that Buls has atleast won heat 1 πŸ™‚

    • #68145
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Ive just had 3 tins of Carlsberg Export (the one the Danes hate to see leave) and i must say the Micky Ronson has a certain appeal…. i think i need to lie down for a while.. πŸ˜•

    • #68163
      SB
      Participant

      Gee, I thought I’d win for sure with the “Rust” finish but 1bass is right. That bowling ball finish is the most obscene amalgam of color I’ve ever seen on a guitar. Good find bulsara! SB

    • #68152
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😯 Competition over, we have a winner. For a major manuf’s standard finish, “bowling ball” surely cannot be beaten. Absolutely vile.

      BTW, Lee – I saw another “Antigua” on Fleeb, this time grey-black, and noticed that the pickguard was also partly sprayed. Yuck.

    • #68164
      bulsara
      Participant

      The “Marble/Bowling Ball” Strat was not a pretty guitar.

      http://www.stratcollector.com/scn/base/84.html

    • #68143
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Mick Ronson, terrific chap etc, but this Epi LP “Mick Ronson” is for serious (and colourblind) fans only:

      #http://i15.ebayimg.com/04/i/04/5a/4a/73_2.JPG

      It’s on eBay, so the pic won’t be around forever (thankfully). What has that wood been stained to? Ebony piping and gold hardware to boot 😯

    • #68136
      vitaminE
      Participant

      I live in a small mining town in Northern Minnesota, and there are some pretty tough crowds in the local bars. IÒ€ℒve probably been tempting fate by wielding the pink strat for all these years. I though for a moment that if I could handle the meth freaks in our local pubs, I could easily stand up to the North London crowd. Then, I remembered that my only experience with socialists is occasional contact with friendly Canadians and that you vicious Sids would probably eat me alive!

      As for the green knob on the strat, the drummer from my band in college procured several large and multicolored sheets of the adhesive-backed reflective material from which road signs are made. We proceeded to cut the stuff up and paste it all over our instruments – donÒ€ℒt try this at home because itÒ€ℒs a pain in the a$$ to remove! Aluminum foil, duct tape, and green knobs were added for maximum effect. This was my first trio and I tried really hard to step up to the task. Now, 12 years later I listen to some of those old tapes and marvel at the guy on guitar. In those days I had nothing and I was perpetually stoned and pissed off. IÒ€ℒve found out now that comfort and prosperity equals mediocre guitar playing. The green knob remains to remind me that I didnÒ€ℒt always suck at playing guitar.

    • #68149
      1bassleft
      Participant

      πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† , Lee. It’s all true, but the Roller’s worth more than today’s Maybach. Does it prove anything (in strict % terms)? No, but it does mean you can stick with what you’re comfortable with, even for a laugh, and play it.

      Anybody can be cool with a ’57 Strat. Me, I’d prefer eBay fill up with “as played by 1bassleft” hype sales for a weird alternate. As long as it’s not a Hondo. Or a rusty, bronchial, thing. Paisley tele; now that floats my boat.

    • #68180
      lee_UK
      Participant

      1. He never drove it πŸ˜†
      2. The windows were blacked out in the back πŸ˜†
      3. He always wore dark sunglasses when out in it πŸ˜†
      4. He was in his ‘L.S.D’ experimental period when he owned it. πŸ˜†
      5. He always had 5 bodyguards shielding him when he got out of it to get in to Abbey Rd πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

      But he is the most creative artist ever in the whole world (to own a pink roller/bentley)

    • #68165
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Toco, count me in as a pink-paisley appreciator. I’d like a Tele-bass (lefty, please) in paisley. If you do take stick for it, remember; what’s good enough for Lennon’s Rolls is good enough for your guitar.

    • #68167
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Those pink paisleys are big sellers, a lot of people like them, but i think you do have to be a bit brave to get up on a north london pub stage on a saturday night to play one. I bet that one is a Jap reissue too, those necks are something else on those guitars.
      What is it with the green vol knob?? is there a story there??

    • #68184
      vitaminE
      Participant

      Over the course of the last 17 years, I’ve absorbed a fair amount of abuse over the color of my Stratocaster. “Big pink Hondo” and “wallpapered wonder” are just a few of the slams I’ve had to endure.

      http://usera.imagecave.com/vitaminE/oldax.jpg

      I still think it’s cool.

    • #68182
      1bassleft
      Participant

      ps, I own an Italian sports car that lives in NW England. Do I know about “rust finish”? Factory standard πŸ˜› πŸ™

    • #68169
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Just clicked the link, SB. Jeez-H:shock: ! I had a look at this bass: http://www.jamestrussart.com/scb_rust.html. Not only is it the ugliest amalgam; it’s also $3000+ 😯 . They might call it “unique” and “distinctive”, but so is wearing a Fez in a supermarket. Dunkmore Semen pups – so what? Hawaiian koa neck – so what? I’d love to know where the other $3k goes.

      SB raises the bar to 2.9m (about 9ft).

    • #68141
      SB
      Participant

      OK, here is my first thought. I’m sure James builds some fantastic guitars http://www.jamestrussart.com/ although I ‘ve never had the opportunity to touch one. However, “Rust” as a finish strikes me as a bit bizarre. That’s the same finish I have on my old Ford Explorer! SB

    • #68155
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😯 I’ve sometimes wondered what would happen if a guy with severe bronchial asthma, 40-a-day, and a bad cold walked into a music store. Now I know.

      What’s with the “Sorry, none of these is for sale!” line? Are they still scraping it off? OK Lee, you’ve set the bar high, but I’m-a-hunting to beat that.

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