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Here are some cool reasons why guitars are better than women. Just so I'm not sexest I also put why guitars are better than men for the ladies.
Aaron Berdanier
www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palladium/8378/

Why Guitars are better than Men:

Guitars don't work late.
Your Guitar stays as clean as you want it to.
Guitars don't have parents or kids.
Guitars don't get sick.
Guitars don't get overweight, unless you like the Jumbo style.
If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
Your Guitar always has time for you.
Guitars don't watch TV.
Guitars never need a shave, nor do they have hair on their backs.
Guitars don't snore.
Guitars don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.
If you don't like the length of your Guitar's appendage you can get a new one.
You can try out as many Guitars as you like before you get your own.
You don't have to feed your Guitar.
Guitars never argue, you are always right.
Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
Guitars never try to show you off to their friends.
Guitars don't come home drunk after a night out with the other Guitars.
Guitars don't sneak around with other Guitars.
Guitars don't care what you look like or what your age is.
Guitars don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
Guitars don't care if you have to work late.
When you're playing, your Guitar doesn't care if other Guitars are bigger or better.
Guitars don't care about their performance.
Guitars don't get you pregnant.
Guitars don't have mothers.
When you've finished playing, you can put it away.
You don't have to praise a Guitar after playing it.
Guitars don't sulk.
Guitars don't bore you.
Guitars don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting players.
Guitars don't have to prove anything.
Guitars don't try to change you once you've bought them.
Guitars don't get jealous of your male colleagues.
Guitars never interrogate you.
Second-hand Guitars don't brag about previous owners.
Second-hand Guitars don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town.
You don't have to explain to a Guitar if you don't feel like playing tonight.
Guitars never put you down, yet you can put them down whenever you wish.
Guitars don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
Guitars don't have egos.
Guitars don't need remote control units.
When you're lost you don't have to argue with your Guitar about stopping to ask the band for directions.
When your Guitar is being played too slow, you can speed up.
When you need someone to play with, your Guitar is happy to accommodate.
You buy the tools your Guitar needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
You don't have to continually assure your Guitar that its string length is just right.
You determine the length and frequency of playing, and you're always in control.
Your Guitar never finishes before you do.
Your Guitar doesn't complain about your going out to dinner with your women friends rather than staying at home with it.
You never get helpful suggestions from your Guitar's mother.
Your Guitars will allow you to play it even on Super Bowl Sunday.
Your Guitar never complains if you put on a few pounds.
When your Guitar is dysfunctional you know how to get it fixed (and know that it can be fixed).
Your Guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it's a Guitar.
Your Guitar never spends a "night out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard.

Why guitars are better than women:

Guitars don't get pregnant.
You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
Guitars don't have parents.
Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
You can share your Guitar with your friends.
Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
Guitars don't get headaches.
Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
Guitars don't care if you're late.
You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.

From: Aaron Berdanier
www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palladium/8378/

But wait... there's more!
WARNING: You may find these a little more crude & *tasteless*

Why Guitars are better than women:

A guitar has a volume knob.
If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one.
You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to.
You can unplug a guitar.
You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more.
Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset.
You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested.
You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care.
You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can retune it.
You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar.
If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set.
You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to your liking.
If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required.
You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free.
It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.
You can play a guitar all month long
A guitar doesn't care how many guitars you own.

Why women are better than guitars...

Women are more fun when the power goes out.
You can't get your guitar wet.
The input to a guitar is only 1/4" (ouch!)
A guitar won't beg to be played.
It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it.
When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue.
A guitar won't play you back.
You need two hands to make a guitar scream.
A guitar won't scratch your back.
A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk.
A guitar doesn't care who plays it.
You can't play two guitars at once.
It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
If you really do want little guitars, you have to buy them.
You can't marry a rich guitar.
Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
Guitars don't taste very good
From: Skysurf Cross Keys Sun Jan 17, 1999

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