Here are some of the entries from the "TELL A JOKE... WIN AN IBANEZ BASS" competition:
http://www.guitarsite.com/igm/winbass.htm

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The scene is a typical Northern England Working Mens Club....
Concert Secretary: Right lads, I want you to start your first spot in ten minutes,just after the first Bingo game.
Bass Player: No problem, we just have to tune up first.
Concert Secretary: What d'you mean tune up? You've known about this booking for three months!!! (John Barker)

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A drummer goes on vacation to a remote island. Its tranquill and nice and there are native drums beating off in the distance. Being a drummer, he can appreciate the native rhytyms and enjoys them to a point, but finds that they continue to go on for days. He asks a native why they continue to beat the drums and the only reply he gets is "Drums must not stop --- very bad if they stop".

After three days of continuous drumming and asking the native why, and getting the same response "drums must not stop, very bad", he finally gets fed up and demands an answer: "Look what is so bad?" the drummer asks. "What happens if they stop?" The native replies "Bass solo begins" (Don Parrish-Bell)

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A guitar player and a bass player were out on the ocean in a rowboat fishing. The guitar player saw a lamp float by his side of the boat so he thought what the hell. So he picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, sorry but Im only an apprentice genie so I can grant you only one wish. The guitar player thought for a moment and then made his wish- I want this whole ocean turned into beer. Poof, it was done. The bass player was watching all this go on and finally said to the guitar player, That was dumb-now we'll have to piss in the boat. (Chuck Wenberg)

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A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!" (K L)

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Q: How Does a bass player get away with parking in a handicapped spot??
A: He leaves his used strings on the dash board !!

Q: why do bass players seem to always speed up their tempo during a song ?
A: because they're always in a hurry, that's why they play bass !!

Q: why don't bass players get any respect?
A: Because they can't play guitar!!

Q: Why do bass players make better lovers?
A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !!
(Tommy Roeck)

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Q: Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in his car?
A: It took him an hour to get the drummer out!
(Eric Sands)

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What would you be if you weren't a musician? ...a bass player! (wannabe human)

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How do you know when your bass player is playing out of tune?
His fingers are moving. (Gerry Barlow)

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Ya know how many bass players it takes to screw in a light bulb?
None - the keyboardist can do it with his left hand (Paul Davis)

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How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and the other to complain that the bulb doesn't have enough eq added to it. (Chris Hudson)

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How many bassist does it take to screw in a light bulb?
To know the answer, you need know two things:
1/ How big is the bulb.
2/ How do you get them in the bulb.
(F.J. "Rick" Hiscock)

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Have a laugh - check out the rest of the entries:
http://www.guitarsite.com/discussion/messages/1730.shtml

More jokes here: http://www.guitarsite.com/jokes.htm