Jokes from Lars Eliasson, Vinay Kulkarni & Daniel Hardy:

Q: What do you call a guy that hangs around with a band
A: A bass player

Q: why did god invent bassists??
A: coz drummers had no talent.

Q: why did god invent gutiarists??
A: coz bassists didnt either!!

Q: What's the difference between a bass and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.

Q: Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
A: Even a virus has some pride.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

Q: What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
A: "Pizza!"

and finally, from Nathan Adams: I live in L.A. My bass player the other day asked me what time it was in San Francisco. Not much of a punchline, but I thought it was pretty damn funny...

Check out more in the "Tell a Joke" section of the Guitar Discussion Forum:
http://www.guitarsite.com/discussion/