Home Forums Guitar Discussion Guitar Competition Time.

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    • #72284
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Good point. We could start a “this electric guitar has plastic machineheads and a zero fret; but it isn’t cack” thread 🙂

    • #72241
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Well spotted Bass, i just thought of something, do all shite guitars have zero frets? this lot look like they have been dragged from the skip.

    • #72245
      glw
      Participant

      C’mon, those three guitars are just crying out to be made into a triple-necked guitar by some enthusiastic but cack-handed amateur.

    • #72310
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Hey, Lee. The seller of that guitar, “Catsleep”, specializes in listing sometimes euphemistically titled “projects”. Take a look at his auction for a trio of Teiscos. We’d have our work cut out just listing the issues, never mind fixing them. Could reach triple figures, here…

      http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/3-Old-Teisco-Electric-Guitar-Projects-Buy-It-Now-109_W0QQitemZ140158760495QQihZ004QQcategoryZ2384QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

      #http://i10.ebayimg.com/01/i/000/b3/e5/0fd1_1.JPG#http://i16.ebayimg.com/06/i/000/b3/e5/10eb_1.JPG
      #http://i11.ebayimg.com/06/i/000/b3/e5/1180_1.JPG#http://i9.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/b3/e5/1221_1.JPG

    • #72292
      lee_UK
      Participant

      [quote=”Tim”]Do you often accost people in shops to offer them advice? I’ve met people like you…

      I hate being next to somebody in a big queue, I’m always thinking:
      “Don’t be a talker, please don’t be a talker, Oh no! eye-contact, ok, roll eyes knowingly, tut, then look away”
      I then become enthralled by the supermarket architecture or the comparative prices of different carrots.[/quote]

      Accosting people.. heres a good one, bear with me.
      Years ago i worked clerical for BT, (Now a fully fledged ETG at TO level, we do love an acronym at BT) we had a canteen and a chatty extremely nice West Indian lady called Zena, she got on great with everyone, and she left to become a ticket collector for London Underground, so months later im going into Tower Hill tube at 6.30am and see her collecting tickets, i walk straight up to her and say ‘oh hello, how are you? ive not seen you for ages!! i was wondering if you ever got to work in this station….’ and we chat away for about 5 mins, shes asking me questions about my work etc, then it suddenly dawns on me, this isn’t Zena, and she’s chatting to me as if she knows me! so i end the conversation with a ‘must go have a train to catch’ and she says in a very concerned voice, ‘yes, and you mind how you go love, if you need any help just ask a member of staff’ .

      I had to hang my head.
      😆

    • #72232
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😆 , Tim. No, you’re safe with me; I keep myself to myself. In both cases, I was silently checking over basses/riojas when such people tapped me and started the “Excuse me, but I can see that you’re obviously knowledgeable about…” stuff.

      Having asked me advice, I duly give it. The warning bells should clang when I hear “So, you don’t recommend this one then?” asked for the fourth time in that ever-more-“So-ooo…” voice. You just know that they’re going to buy the Marlin/Blue Nun/Tandy PC anyway and just want to hear an “expert” tell them they’ve made an excellent choice.

      Truth be told, I’d rather be left alone.

    • #72215
      Tim
      Participant

      Do you often accost people in shops to offer them advice? I’ve met people like you…

      I hate being next to somebody in a big queue, I’m always thinking:
      “Don’t be a talker, please don’t be a talker, Oh no! eye-contact, ok, roll eyes knowingly, tut, then look away”
      I then become enthralled by the supermarket architecture or the comparative prices of different carrots.

    • #72247
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]’Solid’ ply and weighed a tone[/quote]

      Freudian slip 🙂 . Marlins were awful. I remember trying to convince some dad in a shop that a used, nice nick, proper wood guitar was money better spent on his sprog than a new Marlin. He listened (“I can tell you’re a proper musician” type comments) then went ahead and bought the Marlin. Just like the bloke at Malaga back in the days of duty free; listening to me telling him the good riojas worth buying but, after 10 mins advice, said “well, you can’t go wrong with a Blue Nun can you?” and bought a couple of bottles of the piss.

    • #72275
      lee_UK
      Participant

      I can only go on what ive played, my old mate John had a Welsh (yes as in from the Welsh valleys) Marlin, that was ‘Solid’ ply and weighed a tone, maybe it was Oak ply?

    • #72236
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Aaargh. I spotted, but forgot to include, the two missing selector area screws. I might disagree with your third about the weight. Ply bodies are actually quite lightweight, certainly less dense than ash. No doubt about what it does to the tone, though. An old ply bass of mine has a string-thru-body bridge. Absolutely pointless.

    • #72278
      lee_UK
      Participant

      OK, ive added a few to your list, missing truss rod was well spotted, heres mine added to yours:
      1) Ply body
      2) Ronseal refinish
      3) Missing tailpiece screw(s) Question
      4) Broken off (not just missing) whammy bar Question
      5) Ground wire running on body surface (nice)
      6) Bridge missing
      7) String missing
      8] Oversized replacement screw near p’up selector
      9) Missing scratchplate screws (I count eight)
      16) Scratchplate damage near neck join
      17) Both p’ups are sunken (bet they won’t adjust on those screws and springs)
      19) Four-bolt neckplate doesn’t fit the dimensions
      20) Ghastly “birch” neck
      21) High E tuner missing its bushing
      22) Two machine heads missing
      24) Both string guides shot and need replacing
      26) Truss rod cover missing
      27) Looks like the truss rod itself is missing Question
      28] Nut missing

      29] Scratch plate is not the original, and does not fit the contours.
      30] 2 screws missing on the PUP selector switches.
      31] The strings that remain need replacing!!

      Cant be sure but i think this is a good guess section….

      1] Frets have seen more life than a London Black Taxi cab.
      2] The Vol and Tone pots are off of a cheap Strat copy.
      3] with all that plywood and glue it weighs a ton and a half.
      4] Has the tonal range of a Brick.

      any more?

    • #72243
      1bassleft
      Participant

      OK, in the words of Gilbert and Sullivan, I’ve got a little list. With only a photo, I’m a bit unsure about a couple of spots and have put a ‘ ❓ ‘ on them. Add to the list or subtract any you think are wrong.

      1) Ply body
      2) Ronseal refinish
      3) Missing tailpiece screw(s) ❓
      4) Broken off (not just missing) whammy bar ❓
      5) Ground wire running on body surface (nice)
      6) Bridge missing
      7) String missing
      8] Oversized replacement screw near p’up selector
      9) Missing scratchplate screws (I count eight)
      16) Scratchplate damage near neck join
      17) Both p’ups are sunken (bet they won’t adjust on those screws and springs)
      19) Four-bolt neckplate doesn’t fit the dimensions
      20) Ghastly “birch” neck
      21) High E tuner missing its bushing
      22) Two machine heads missing
      24) Both string guides shot and need replacing
      26) Truss rod cover missing
      27) Looks like the truss rod itself is missing ❓
      28] Nut missing

      Once those items are sorted, might be a nice guitar. Unless you guys can see something else?

    • #72257
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Odd, that. I’ve switched my watch back, of course but could’ve sworn it said 02:20. HST, I do allow myself red wine on Friday and Saturday nights…

    • #72253
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Are you still on continental time??, your time stamp shows 1.30am 😆

    • #72265
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Shall do, but not at 2:20am Friday 🙂 Await the weekend.

    • #72261
      lee_UK
      Participant

      good idea, you show me yours first.. 😆

    • #72228
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Oh well, if you’re going to pinch my spots and add them to your total, we’d all better shut up 😆 . Shall we just combine and add to the list as people chime in? See if we hit 30.

    • #72234
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Ronseal!! thats 27 😆

    • #72223
      1bassleft
      Participant

      A GCSE kid ignored my advice and used pine – knots and all – for his project. But then, he did fail. No, I’m sure this is a Woolworths special and likely a Kay. That neck wood gives it away and I once stripped a 70s Satellite and, in the bare, they really do look that bad. Apols for erroneously suspecting some butt-scalloping. It’s just a nasty run of the Ronseal around the exposed ply end.

      Is it me, but I cannot believe that the neckplate on that thing is designed to be there.

    • #72218
      Tim
      Participant

      [quote=”lee_UK”].
      It has to be a Heath Robinson, or at best, a CSE woodwork project.[/quote]

      Plywood for a school project?! you’d fail. Even my crappy 6th-form bass started live as a semi-decent chunk of timber. It has to be mass-produced, aimed at ripping off people who can’t play but have fallen for the ‘rock’ aesthetic. Shame, these things could put you off for life!

    • #72267
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Well done glw, thats 25 ive got, do you think it’s a ‘real’ Kay?? i think its a Kay copy.. scuse me while i pee myself laughing (ive just clocked the missing bridge, thats 26!!), but are you seriously suggesting that this pile of poo was actually made by human beings and sold in Woolies? under a real brand name?
      That body looks like it used to be grannies sideboard.
      The tuners/machine head came off of his younger brothers nylon acoustic.
      It has to be a Heath Robinson, or at best, a CSE woodwork project.

    • #72259
      glw
      Participant

      There is only one problem with that guitar, which is that it isn’t on fire.

    • #72307
      1bassleft
      Participant

      ah, I’m well into the twenties then. Like your “plywood” thang, I did count that awful, strange variety of eastern Beech used as neckwood by Kay et al in the 70s reason enough. I take it you noticed the DIY scalloping of said body around the butt end? Sniff, sniff, what’s that burning smell?

    • #72251
      lee_UK
      Participant

      If 3 screws are missing then thats 3 reasons not to buy it, every screw, machine head has it’s own count.
      Is ‘plywood’ body a reason for not buying it? umm, i think so, make my count 24!! 😆

    • #72255
      1bassleft
      Participant

      I’m at around 18, but I’m not duplicating (i.e., two missing machine heads only count as one fault, as with missing screws).

    • #126884
      Tim
      Participant

      I owned one in sunburst…reason enough never to buy another!

      Still on the obvious at the minute (earthing, machine heads etc…hmm 23…)

    • #72221
      lee_UK
      Participant

      Ive got 23 so far (faults or missing bits) , but then i only spent 2 mins searching.

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