Homemade 'Garage' Relic jobs. The Worst (Obviously!!)

I just don't know what to say..
I keep seeing stuff for auction on ebay with sellers proudly displaying their goods, secret relic-ing techniques undisclosed, and they think they are doing a wonderful job, anyone seen a relic ( i left it out in the rain with some rusty nuts and bolts on it for 5 days) as bad as this one?

Some of his quotes:

'This guitar is a 2003 Squier Telecaster which has been modified and reliced by myself to look like a really old and battered beauty'

'The metal parts have all been sympathetically aged to give that authentic vibe.' (Tea stains on LCD screen after reading that one)

'The body on this beauty is a solid wood job' -( nice to see its not marine ply.)

'I would happily take this guitar anywhere (why not start with your local Dump?)- it is definitely a talking (surely he means 'laughing' point?) point and something to be proud of. It's not often you see a Broadcaster now is it?' (More tea on monitor... Broadcaster?? this pile of ....)

'Ladies and gentlemen (boys and girls?), what we have here is not a Custom Shop relic (At last, some honesty), but a budget conscious version which looks every inch the part.'

'The intonation and action have been set up properly to a very high standard, this would cost you around £60 in a music shop' (i think he means £20 to post it there £20 to get it back £15 for the setup and a fiver for the strings...£60 my arse!)

here are some ebay customers comments:

'Good relic...Very pleased...Best setup guitar ive had....Cheers..Buyer IM_SO_FCUKINGSTUPID(140) 23-Sep-07 180157916960

'Good item, well relic'd. Thanks Buyer SELLERS_BROTHER(72) 01-Apr-07 180097392296

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:shock: , another great glw find - smoked like a pack of Camels. The auction's Q+A section is a brilliant read, too; as much as for what the seller could've said but didn't:

Q: is this a Custom Shop relic Strat, or is this a relic job that someone did to a regular strat?
A: It is not a custom shop relic I mean, c'mon...:

Q: didn't i see this guitar for sale a couple months ago?...wondering why it did not sell...
A: Yes, I relisted it and you're wondering why it didn't sell?:

Q: was this relic done by the factory
A: No, it was done locally There is a local guy who regularly vomits on his guitar and tries to scrape it off with a blowtorch and Dremel :


The amp has many scuffs, scratches, torrn tolex, etc. to make you think the amp is 48 years old when in fact it is new!

Just the thing for your one off strats :P

Look at this one.It clearly says Fender as manufacturer and then in fine print farther Down

Fender Custom Shop has no intensions to release such guitars.

As lots of work was put into this guitar, even the luthier himself said that it would be his first one and only made like this.

Look at the pics and believe. Made in USA by Rocketfire Guitars.


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