: Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze? A : You can tell it’s coming, but you can’t do anything about it. ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins. ——————————————————————————– Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job? A : Would you like fries with that. ——————————————————————————– Q : How can you make a bass player slow down? A : Put a sheet of music infront of him. Q : How do you get him to stop? A : Put notes on it!! Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– : A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on. "Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings. "So what is the problem?", replies the singer. "He won’t tell me which one it was". ——————————————————————————– : A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea. "**** it", says the bass player, "let’s play in four!" Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. A : Don’t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice. A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first. ——————————————————————————– A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?" "Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!" Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!