Wife or Guitar?

I have formal practice with the band twice a week and a gig once a week. She gets the gig money! However this has become too much for the wife to handle and she threatens divorce every week. So how many of you have had to deal with the neglected wife problem? Music is such a great therapy for life and yet it's like my guitar is another woman to her. I have had an Ovation Legend and a Strat demolished, however the Les Paul stays at the studio! After twenty years of marriage you think she'd realize I'm in a band. So how do the rest of you obsessed musicians deal with it?

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all the time, the band i was in last year rehearsed on thurs and gigged on saturday and she thought that was too much

Well im not married, nor old enough to be, but my past gfs usually threatened me with "its me or the guitars" and i usually say, well, i did pay for the guitars. They dont like it, but when ive been so dedicated to something i love so much that i cant look away from em even for a second, and the girl cant handle it, then is she really worth it?

This is tough man, and a lot of us deal with it. I don't gig nearly as much as I used to, but the couple times a month is almost too much sometimes! Your marriage HAS to be the top priority, but that does not mean giving up music!

Talk to her, yeah I know its tough, tell her she IS first, and if she is able to feel that is really the case you need to let her know how much her support of this area of your life really means to you. Does she have a hobby or something she needs like you need music? make sure you show your support of her endeavors as well.

this neglected feeling may be that she feels she supports you but gets no support in return.

Good luck man, thats really tough.


Aaron pretty much sums it up. For the bare mathematics; look at your pension sheme(s). Either you have very badly performing investments, or a '59 LP. Otherwise, a wife is more valuable than a guitar every time.

Besides, I never managed the proper technique of 'making love to my guitar' - although the 1/4" socket didn't help.

Update - the Mrs has just looked at my screen and added "you never managed the proper technique of making love to the wife, either" :oops: I'll butt out of this thread now, I think.

Surely you mean the 58 bassleft, the 1/4" technique is indeed a skill in itself, it requires patience, and practice. A couple of the old blues boys from the Canvey Delta mastered the technique, although there is no photographic evidence if this, just hearsay.

Don't ask me if I'd rather have a '58 over a '59 LP, Lee. No 3-band boost/cut, some 10" short on scale length, whaddoIknow? :?

All I would say is that a 59 'burst came up, a globe of people wet knickers and it sold for $300k+. That'd do for me, although I'll take an aunty's '58 if it's under the bed. Sorry, bear with me, I'm just a lefty 4 or 5-stringer :D

"The Canvey Delta Blues Boys" :lol: :lol:

Thanks for the advice guys. Just keep the guitars out of the house. She knows nothing about guitar values when swinging them into the wall. Thts why I keep the mexi strat at home to practice on, go ahead take your best shot I can get another one tomorrow. Can't be said of the LP, so it stays at the studio. After 20 years our kids are in college, (they cost me more than ever), the wife and I get along until music comes up. No matter what problem arises, music is to blame. So I say screw this, more music, more gigs, more recording and mixdown, or its chauffeur time and trek the princess around all weekend and stay up with her as late as I play music, impossible, I'm good for like 15 minutes at my age and then its lights out. I know I can't get rid of her but getting her to see the positive side of music isn't easy unless I play her favorite songs, then I occaisionally get lucky.

Our drummer is divorced, unemployed, gets a social payout every week, free rent on a 2 bed flat (with views over the 'Canvey Delta') gets up at 2 in the afternoon, plays 2 gigs a week to pep up his social money, smokes more dope than Dopey the dope smoker from the dopey deltal, has a 12 track mixing desk and studio, writes all the songs he wants and chills out, and is he happy? ummmm..... thats a tough one....


well does your drummer need a roomate? I guess the wife is gonna win this one too. It's like the old adage can't live with em, can't live without em. We have a comedian who puts it in the proper perspective, upon marriage we don't "commit" we "surrender". So as much as music and playing guitar are my favorite pastimes the wife should come first, maybe 2nd after the beagle, however many of you will find after 20 plus years of marriage that certain desires can become a conflict. For one month I'd like to go to the studio at 6 in the morning play til midnight and see what gets created. In the scheme of free time a working husband is lucky to get one or two nights to himself, I should consider myself lucky to have this time at all.

This might not help much, after all, you don't want to choose a band because your Mrs likes somebody...

My previous band did way more regular rehearsal and gigging than my present one (in perspective, though; weekly rehearsal + approx monthly gig. Maybe record annually) and she put up with this far better than my current band. One of many reasons may be that the singing guitarist in the first band had a g/f who got on very well with my Mrs. We'd eat out, even meet up on holiday, so she put up with the band even though she didn't think we were that great.

The current band's guitarist is a bachelor (the songwriting and general push always seems to come from me and the rhythm player) and the Mrs doesn't gel at all with anyone. Although we rehearse a lot less and gig almost never, she resents it more (not to instrument-smashing degree though). Is it possible to involve the other halves? Meals out, or a social drink?

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