The London Axe Murders: 50 Ugliest Guitars of 2007

By: Michael Meloni, Stacey Gurney and the Forum.

Police today unearthed the bodies of fifty guitars buried under a vacant flat in East London. Sources close to police suggest the guitars were victims of homemade relic jobs gone bad, but an official statement from authorities is yet to be made.

"It's too early to say exactly how these guitars came to meet such a dreadful fate" Chief Inspector Les Wasp said when asked whether deliberate de-restoration was the cause of death. "It might have been the handy work of some eBay entrepreneur, it might also have been the handy work of a seasoned pro. We're waiting on forensic tests to show us exactly how these guitars died. I can't rule out any method of fowl play at this stage."

Police are interviewing all property owners in the area in attempt to uncover clues relating to the deaths.

Guitarist and neighbor, Tim Star, was shocked to hear about the crime.

"I never knew such sick people existed. Let alone lived right under my nose" Star said. "I used to play my guitar just out back near that place. I dread to think what might have been."

Local pawnbroker, Lee Burgess, who wishes to remain anonymous due to fear for his guitars safety, said "I have people trying to sell me dodgy guitars all the time. Some looked like they had well and truly been dealt with in ways I'd rather not say. I'm not hear to ask questions though am I."

CI Wasp urged all guitarists to look at a number of released pictures in hopes of identifying the bodies. "We understand that it isn't a pretty sight seeing a perfectly good Strat reduced to pulp or an acoustic with a picture of Bruce Springsteen, but it needs to be done. We must identify these guitars if full justice is to be served."


Guitars 50 - 30

Guitars 29 - 10

Guitars 9 - 1


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theres no picture here dumbasses

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