Home Forums Guitar Discussion Bass Guitar Did you hear about the bass player who…

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  • #22687
    Jason
    Participant

    Q: What’s the difference between a bass and a trampoline?
    A: You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.

    Q: Why don’t bass players ever catch a cold?
    A: Even a virus has some pride.

    Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

    Q: What’s the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
    A: “Pizza!”:

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    • #65763
      andy2001
      Participant

      Q: What did the drummer get on his SATs?
      A: Drool

      Q:What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
      A: A large pizza can feed a family of four

    • #65748
      1bassleft
      Participant

      😆 , Gordy – some good’uns there. The thing about the vocalist; they don’t know when to come in, and they never have the right key 🙂

    • #65747
      Gordy Smiff
      Participant

      Q: How do you know when a singer knocks on the studio door?
      A: He does’nt know when to come in.

      Q: How do you know when a drummer knocks on the studio door?
      A: The knocking speeds up.

      Q: How do you know when the drum riser is level?
      A: The drool comes out of BOTH sides of his mouth.

      Q: How do you get a lead guitarist to stop playing?
      A: Put some sheet music in front of him.

    • #65724
      1bassleft
      Participant

      [quote]I read the second one HAHAHAHAHAHA, I get it…he needed a lesson to get in a band, loser!!!![/quote]

      😆 That cracked me up.

    • #65760
      Tim
      Participant

      I didn’t understand the first one, no really 🙁

      But then I read the second one HAHAHAHAHAHA, I get it…he needed a lesson to get in a band, loser!!!!

    • #65691
      1bassleft
      Participant

      While we’re on the jokes, here are a couple I like (apols if you’ve read them before):

      Q: How many C+W bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: IV, I, IV; I, IV…

      A kid wants to learn bass so his dad block-books ten lessons with a teacher. After the 1st lesson, dad asks how it went. Kid replies “I’m jacking the lessons”

      “Wha? Why?”

      “A band’s offered me a gig.”

    • #65756
      Michael
      Participant

      😆

    • #65749
      1bassleft
      Participant

      Jason,

      Losing your job as a pizza deliverer is unfortunate. Losing your job as a bass player is a bit “special needs” 😆

      1BL,
      Still plucking

    • #65728
      Jason
      Participant

      go on… flame away…. I used to play bass in a band for several years (and delivered pizza) so I know what I’m talking about…

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