Homepage Forums Guitar Discussion Guitar Lyrics that crack you up

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  • #22293

    1bl’s Men At Work comment got me thinking of lyrics that make me laugh – whether intentionally funny or not…

    “I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine”

    One Night in Bangkok – Murray Head

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    • #73324

      Funnelly nuff, they really did think they’d win it. When Scotland beat England in the 1967 Home Nations footie, that deed apparently made them the “real” world champs. Well, yes… 🙄

      On another note (or back on topic), I think Dandy Warhol’s “Bohemian Like You” is a lyrical masterpiece. Especially the second verse:

      Who’s that guy,
      Just hanging at your pad.
      He’s looking kinda bummed,
      Yeah, you broke up that’s too bad.
      I guess its fair if he always pays the rent,
      and he doesn’t get bent about sleeping on the couch when I’m there[/quote]

    • #73319

      Top of the pops, 1978, 22 men on stage, dressed in funny wigs, long floppy shoes, short trousers with braces, and red noses that go ‘Onk Onk’ when you squeeze them (at least thats what we pictured them in 3 months later) heres the full explicit tune.

      Ally’s Tartan Army

      We’re on the march wi’ Ally’s Army,
      We’re going tae the Argentine,
      And we’ll really shake them up,
      When we win the World Cup,
      ‘Cos Scotland is the greatest football team,
      We’re representing Britain,
      And we’re gaunny do or die,
      England cannae dae it,
      ‘Cos they didnae qualify!

      We’re on the march wi’ Ally’s Army,
      We’re going tae the Argentine,
      And we’ll really shake them up,
      When we win the World Cup,
      ‘Cos Scotland is the greatest football team’.

      The funniest song ever to come out of Scotland.

    • #73313

      Most of the lyrics on “Forever Changes” by Love are pretty… strange.

      For example:

      Live And Let Live

      Oh, the snot has caked against my pants
      It has turned into crystal
      There’s a bluebird sitting on a branch
      I guess I’ll take my pistol
      I’ve got it in my hand
      Because he’s on my land

      And so the story ended
      Do you know it oh so well
      Well should you need I’ll tell you
      The end-end-end-end-end-end-end-end

      Verse 2:
      Yes I’ve seen you sitting on the couch
      I recognize your artillery
      I have seen you many times before
      Once when I was an indian
      And I was on my land
      Why can’t you understand

      Bridge 1:
      Served my time
      Served it well
      You made my soul

      Bridge 2:
      Write the rules
      In the sky
      But ask your leaders
      Why why

    • #73320

      “Bertha Butt-one of the Butt sisters”

    • #73321

      so you leaving-“put away the shopping bags I’ll even let you take my brand new samsonite”

    • #73316

      You know I could be wrong, but I’m sure I just heard the lyrics “We are sisters and brothers, and I want to hide from the world we’re lovers” on the radio.

      Kids these days 😕

    • #73322

      Tim’s post on another thread just reminded me. There’s that Carolina dance craze “The Shag”. Here in Blighty, a shag is two people mutually expressing their enjoyment of each other. Without clothes or, at least, particular items pushed out of the way.

      How British radio could cope with ‘Shut up and Shag’, ‘My Baby Sure Can Shag’, and (best of all) ‘Shaggin’ the Night Away’ can only be imagined.

    • #73292

      😆 😆 😆 . C+W writers, bless ’em. On a similar note (this was in the newspapers, so it must be true 😯 ):

      A manufacturer of a haemorr…, hemorh…, pile ointment approached the estate of the late Johnny Cash for permission to use “Ring of Fire” in an advertizing campaign. They were particularly keen on the line, “and it burns, burns, burns…”

      They refused permission, of course.

    • #73317

      There is an old Country and Western song called
      “She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger”

    • #73291

      “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble,
      So you don’t confuse them with mountains”

      Whenever, Wherever – Shakira

    • #73339


      … can’t help but laugh at “touches our soul”. I’m sure it was like being told your fly has been down all day for em.

    • #73295

      Given that a great line hits you first time round, must give credit to Robbie Williams. I was paying little attention to “Life Thru a Lens” when I suddenly heard the gem of a line:

      “I got on well with the gentry/ ’til I crashed Tarquin’s Bentley”

      Now, that has to be applauded.

    • #73311

      At risk of sounding like Paul Gambuccini…

      From the musical “Chess” (I nearly typed “Chees” – Freudian or what? 😆 ). IIRC, music from the hairy, buttock-birching Swedes ex Abba and Lyrics by Sir Tim Rice (ex Lloyd Webber collaborator). I always thought “Murray Head” was one of those great nom de plumes you’d invent if you ended up in the porn industry.

      Anyhoo, I still stand by “Sound Chaser” from the Yes album “Relayer” as having the best unintentional. “And what touches our soul…” C’mon Jon Anderson. Our soul = our sole = R sole etc, etc. Hope he washed his hands

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