Over the past year when ever i put an Ad in Loot.com for anything over £500 i get the old African scammers contact me. For those that don’t know the scam it goes like this, if you have a guitar for sale at £1,000 they contact you, say they will pay you and then arrange for a courier to pick it up.
They then tell you they are going to overpay you, because they are paying a cheque into your account for £5,000 which is owed to them by another customer. Then, when they have your account details they put in a Western Union payment for £5,000 and ask you to pass on the difference.
What they count on is you being honest enough to do so, the £5,000 appears for a time and then fails to clear, meanwhile you have sent off the £4,000 difference.
So, i had enough and replied to one of these e-mails, just for my own twisted amusement 😈 and below is an unedited exchange of words.

his first contact:
> Steve Mannyh wrote:
> Hello,
> How are you doing today?,I saw your advert and
> am highly interested in
> purchasing it, so i will like to know the present
> condition and a pics if
> any and also your last asking price.
> And regarding the payment it will be made by a
> cheque and i will wait
> for the cheque to clear at your bank.so i will
> really apprecaite it if you
> get back to me asap,Looking forward in reading from
> you.
>
> Best Regards,
> Steve
> 07024028826

My 1st reply:

Steve, i have decided that £875 is not enough, since installing a new set of strings i am now needing £2,650, it is in excellent order, can we still proceed at this price?
Let me know ASAP my bank details are waiting.

Lee Fukaboutabit.

then him:

Thanks for the mail,am okay with it so let me know
your asking price.so get back to me asap so that we
can proceed.

Best Regards,
STEVE

then i say:

£2,650

He says:

Hello,
Thanks very much for your email and I do appreciate it.Your Price £2650 is okay by me.I want you to get back to me with pics if available. Regarding the pickup of the (Musical instrument),I already have a Shipping Company that will be handling that for me once the transaction is sealed.My method of payment is with a Certified cheque that is drawn from a United Kindom Bank and I will wait for the cheque to clear your Bank before my Shipping Company comes for the pickup.

Regarding the payment,I have decided to get in touch with a Client of mine in U.K who is oweing me a sum of £5,700 to issue out the cheque in your Name.Although the cheque is more than the value of your (Musical instrument) but I ‘m willing to trust you with the rest of the Money.As soon as you received the cheque and clears your Bank,then you will deduct the cost of your (Musical instrument) , and the rest of the Money will be send to my Shipping Company via Western Union Money Transfer for immediate pickup.

If this is clear and okay by you do get back to me with your Name in Full,Contact Address and Phone Number so I can have it forwarded to my Client and instruct him to issue out the cheque in your Name.I look forward to your email.

Best Regards,
steve.

so i come back with another:

Hi Steve,
i have made some more modifications to my guitar, i have remodeled the headstock and have made my own crazy shape, i also cut the bottom half of the guitar off and added a nice plastic lump, but unfortunately i couldn’t glue the plastic to the wood so i had to sellotape it on.
The vintage burst colour is bad, so i have painted the headstock a luminous ‘glow in the dark’ green, and the body luminous orange.
This i feel has enhanced it’s vintage status, and i must now ask even more for the guitar.
I now want £3,650 i hope this is OK and look forward to dealing with you.
So, in plain English, i now want £3,650 for my guitar, not £2,650 but £3,650.
Can we procede plaese?
Look forward to hearing from you, as soon as the money goes in i will pay the difference.
My bank account is waiting to be fleeced.

Lee Fukaboutabit

he takes 2 days to answer and says:

Thanks for the mail,well am okay with that so far the guitar has been remodeled .so i want you to forward your details to now so that i can forward it to my client and the cheque can be send to you asap and once it clears at your bank you will deduct your money and have the remaining balance send to the shipper for them to come for the pick up.So get back to me asap so that every will be done asap.

Regards
Steve

and i think this one was the killer, i wrote it 3 days ago:

Hi steve,
Sorry for the delay, I had a little problem with the guitar, i took it out to the front of my house to take some pictures of it, i set it up on a stand and it looked wonderfull, all the sellotape was flapping about in the breeze, and the dayglow paint was reflecting well, then all of a sudden a bus came out of nowhere and ran over it !! incredible isn’t it? there wasn’t that much damage, the neck is snapped in half, the strings need replacing again, there is a big black tyre mark on it, and the electrics were crushed.
But.. the old sellotape came in double handy, i managed to tape the neck back together, and sprayed over the black tyre mark with some black paint, (didn’t have any green left), although she is is back to her former glory, she now emits a rather loud hum when plugged in to an amp, and no notes can be heard.
I hope this will not deter your buyer.
Seeing as i used half a roll of sellotape on the neck repair i will have to up the price again, i now need £4,159 , i hope this is acceptable, please mail me back ASAP so you can once again try and rob me of every penny i own.
Cant wait to give you my hard earned cash.
Bank account numbers await !!

Lee Fukaboutabit. (born yesterday)

i wonder if i will hear from him again?

😆