Home Forums Discussion Popular Topics Re: download hindi songs free abhi jeet

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #20821
    Anonymous
    Guest

    : : : : : : : i want to download free hindi songs.

    : : i wanna 2 download free abhi jeet song’s of yaad karne se

Viewing 216 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #97552
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : : : : : : : : i want to download free hindi songs. : : : i wanna 2 download free abhieet song’s of yaad karne se

    • #97118
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : : : : : : : : i want to download free hindi songs. : : : i wanna 2 download free song of kaante "mahi ve"

    • #112416
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : : : : : : : : i want to download free hindi songs. : : : i wanna 2 download free abhi jeet song’s of ashiqee

    • #93579
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : : : : : : : : i want to download free hindi songs. : : : i wanna 2 download free abhi jeet song’s of resham jesi hain rahain.(eik tha dil eik thi dharkan)

    • #90115
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? 1…5…1…1…4…5…5…1 (E-1–5–1–1—4–5–5–1)

    • #89975
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What’s the difference between a drummer and a bass player? A. About half a beat.

    • #89241
      Anonymous
      Guest

      the lead singer in a band needed a last minute replacement to play bass. now he had a younger brother who wanted to be in his band more than anything, but the problem was that he wasn’t too bright.Now having found no replacement he e-mails his brother and says ,okay, i give up, if you go buy a bass you can play with us. Now the night of the gig comes up and they just rip up the stage, the crowd is going wild and quite oddly, laughing. when they exit the stage he goes to his brother and says man we were great out there and his brother says "what the hell are you talking about? no matter how hard i tried that damn fish wouldn’t make a sound!

    • #111426
      Anonymous
      Guest

      why couldn’t the lead guitarist play bass. because he never learned the Bassics.

    • #89282
      Anonymous
      Guest

      what’s the difference between jackin’ off and playin’ slap bass? Simple, you can slap your bass all day!

    • #89261
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q:Why do bass players pick up chicks in bars A:because they like women the same way they like to perform, Drunk!

    • #89237
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? 1…5…1… (1…4…5…5…1)

    • #111412
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed?

    • #89221
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster is a bass player’s lymeric ok? oh well ill jut say it: There once was bassist from Nantucket, Who Plucked and drank beer by the bucket, One day he was on tour, and he played the wrong chord, so he threw down his bass and said Fu** it!!

    • #89229
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Four piece band’s bus gets in a traffic accident, everyone dies. St. Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates and asks them all, "What instrument did you play?" "I played lead and the birds screamed in pleasure whenever I hit the high notes", said the lead player. "My son", replied St. Peter, "you will play music with the angels that are in charge of the four winds". An angel takes the lead player and disappears into the distance. "I played rhythm guitar", said the guitarist. "My son", you will play music with the angels that are in charge of the ocean waves", replied St. Peter. Another angel appears in a flying heavenly boat and flows in the air until it is out of sight. "I played drums", said the drummer. "My son, you will play music with the angels that are in charge of thunder", replied St. Peter. Another angel appears and they both ride a lightning flash into the sky. "I was just the bass player", replied the bass player. Thunderclouds gathered around St. Peter and his eyes flashed dire anger. " *JUST* THE BASS PLAYER!!? *JUST* the bass player??!!", his voice shook the Pearly Gates and the heavenly ground bucked and quaked. The bass player was white as a sheet wondering what would come next. With a visible effort of self control, St. Peter subsided and regarded the bass player silently. Making up his mind, he put his hand on the bassist’s shoulder and said, "You will play in our band" and led the bass player towards a magnificent building. Along the way, St. Peter stopped as if remembering something and said, "Wait here, I forgot to pick up my bass".

    • #89254
      Anonymous
      Guest

      how many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. Don’t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice. One, but the guitarist has to show him first. Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light

    • #89265
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: Why do bass players have no friends? A: Because they’re fuckin ugly.

    • #89281
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: Why did the bassest milk the cat? A: He woke up and wanted coffee

    • #89268
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: why did the bass player kill his chickens? A: because they wouldn’t stop going "GUITAR! GUITAR! GUITAR!"

    • #89247
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: Why did they come up with the name ‘bass’ player? A: Beacuse the inventer looked like the fish.

    • #89279
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: why did the bass player cross the road A: He didn’t. He got knocked over.

    • #89251
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: What did the bass player get on his I.Q. test? A: Dribble

    • #89253
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #111377
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks. The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native’s only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop." The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!" The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!" The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?" Wild-eyed, the boy responds, " . . . BASS SOLO!!!"

    • #89266
      Anonymous
      Guest

      what do u call a bass guitarist with out a girlfriend?? homeless… how many bass guitarists does it take to change a light globe?? one, but he holds it there for ever waiting for the room to spinn around it…

    • #89231
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey Q: What did the bass player get on his I.Q. Test? A: Saliva.

    • #89274
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey Q: What did the bass player get on his I.Q. Test? A: Saliva.

    • #111404
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey How many Bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 13 – one to do it, and twelve to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"

    • #89243
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey Q: What will you never say about a bass player? A: "That’s the bass player’s Porsche."

    • #89227
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey Which is better:Bass guitar or a harmonica? A. The Bass guitar. You can’t beat a harmonica player to death with a harmonica.

    • #111379
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey Q. If a drummer and a bass guitarist caught a cab, which one would be the musician? A. The cab driver : The GuitarMaster

    • #89256
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey What is the difference between a bass player and a pizza? answe…………….. The pizza can feed the family : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89239
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89271
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #111413
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What’s the difference between a bass player and a mutual fund? A. A mutual fund eventually matures.

    • #111431
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What’s the first thing a bass player says at work? A. "Would you like fries with that…?"

    • #89219
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What are the three most difficult years in a bass players life? A. second grade

    • #89223
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. Why do bassists make great astronauts? A. Because all they take up is space in school

    • #111423
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q.Why don’t bass players play hide and seek? A. Because no one will look for them.

    • #111409
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on ? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

    • #89071
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #111424
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89042
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster There was this guy at a club with a live band. He thought that bassist was the best slap style bassist he’s ever heard. After the show, he went to the bass player and and ask his seceret. The bass player showed the man his bass, which had a picture of an older woman covering the pickguard. Tha bassist said" it’s my mother-in-law, every time I play I try to slap the *#%& out of her.

    • #89069
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89047
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A bass player walks into a bar with a bag over his shoulder. The barman asks what was in the bag. The bass player says "I’ve been hunting ducks and I’ve got them in my bag!". The barman says "If I can guess how many there is in your bag can I have one?" and the bass player says "I’ll tell you what, if you can guess how many ducks there is in my bag, I’ll give you both of them!"

    • #89038
      Anonymous
      Guest

      this one day this guy went fishing and used strings as bait threw his official ibanez pole and caught a BASS

    • #89045
      Anonymous
      Guest

      this one day this guy went fishing and used strings as bait threw his official ibanez pole and caught a BASS

    • #89051
      Anonymous
      Guest

      this one day this guy went fishing and used strings as bait threw his official ibanez pole and caught a BASS

    • #89039
      Anonymous
      Guest

      "Why is a bass guitar better than a woman?" "Cause when you want to slap and pop your bass its ok"

    • #89032
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Johnny comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mommy, I learned the alphabet today! The rest of the class messed up around F, but I made it all the way through!" Johnny’s mom say’s "Very good son, that’s because you’re a bass player." Johnny comes home the next day and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, I counted to a hundred today! Everyone else couldn’t get past 60, but I made it all the way to 100!" And his mom say’s, "Excellent. That’s because you’re a bass player." The next day, Johnny comes home and say’s, "Mommy, the teacher measured everyone’s height in class today, and I was taller than everyone. Is that because I’m a bass player?" His mom shakes her head and say’s, "No, honey, that’s because you’re twenty-six."

    • #89080
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Johnny comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mommy, I learned the alphabet today! The rest of the class messed up around F, but I made it all the way through!" Johnny’s mom say’s "Very good son, that’s because you’re a bass player." Johnny comes home the next day and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, I counted to a hundred today! Everyone else couldn’t get past 60, but I made it all the way to 100!" And his mom say’s, "Excellent. That’s because you’re a bass player." The next day, Johnny comes home and say’s, "Mommy, the teacher measured everyone’s height in class today, and I was taller than everyone. Is that because I’m a bass player?" His mom shakes her head and say’s, "No, honey, that’s because you’re twenty-six."

    • #89079
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89055
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster I am in a band called Tweek. We are 12, 13, and 13. Every one has there instruments except for our bass player. He is looking but cant find one because he needs to pay for half of it and has no way to make $. This bass would complete our band.

    • #89041
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #111417
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89059
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89031
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89049
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the BrisbaneInternational Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster um..so this p-bass player was climbing this mountain. he was letting out the slack in his partner’s cord below him. his partner says "you’re playing the cord too low." so the p-bass player cut the cord in half. he then asked him if that was high enough. after his partner hit the bottom the response came: "yeah," he said, "the "bass" of the mountain just knocked the "p" out of me."- ok this joke sucks, i just made it up and it hardly makes sense, just gimme the bass, ok?

    • #89050
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster SKIP THE JOKES.I NEED A GOOD TRUSTY BASS-GUITAR PRETTY SOON.I LIVE IN ROMANIA AND I AM THEAT POOR SO I CAN NOT BUI MY OWN.I HAVE 22 YEARS OLD AND I AM STUDYING JAZZ COMPOSITION AT IASI CONSERVATORY. HELP MY UP PLEASE.SORRY I`M NOT FEELING LIKE JOKING.

    • #89052
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster SKIP THE JOKES.I NEED A GOOD TRUSTY BASS-GUITAR PRETTY SOON.I LIVE IN ROMANIA AND I AM THEAT POOR SO I CAN NOT BUI MY OWN.I HAVE 22 YEARS OLD AND I AM STUDYING JAZZ COMPOSITION AT IASI CONSERVATORY. HELP MY UP PLEASE.

    • #89057
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster SKIP THE JOKES.I NEED A GOOD TRUSTY BASS-GUITAR PRETTY SOON.I LIVE IN ROMANIA AND I AM THEAT POOR SO I CAN NOT BUI MY OWN.I HAVE 22 YEARS OLD AND I AM STUDYING JAZZ COMPOSITION AT IASI CONSERVATORY. HELP MY UP PLEASE.

    • #89061
      Anonymous
      Guest

      two bass playing petzels were walking down the street, one got beat up and yelled ahh! i’ve been a-salted.

    • #89044
      Anonymous
      Guest

      how come bass is soo easy to play that a baby could it? Because u can’t hear a dam thing without an amp

    • #111393
      Anonymous
      Guest

      why is it called bass guitar? Becasuse its made out of bass fish

    • #111342
      Anonymous
      Guest

      why is it called ass guitar? Becasuse its made out of bass fish

    • #89075
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster there were 3 bass players who escaped from jail. one was a blonde, one as a brunette, and the other was a redhead. they all look for a place to hide, cuz the cops r chasing them, and they see a barn, so they run in there. in the barn, they see three burlap sacks, so they each get in one. the cops follow the bass players in there and see the burlap sacks. the cop kicks the first one, and the brunette is in there, and the brunette says, "woof woof"…the cops assume that they must be some runt puppies that the farmer is going to drown. they kick the second one, and the redhead is in there, adn the redhead says, "meow meow"…the cops assume that they must be some runt kittens that the farmer is going to drown. now they kick the third one, which has the blonde inside it. the blonde says, "potatoes." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

    • #89033
      Anonymous
      Guest

      what did the homosexual basist and a television have in common? they both get turned on by knobs.

    • #89065
      Anonymous
      Guest

      In light of recent events I submit this link as my joke. Copy and past it in your browser If it dont make you grin ..or atleast feel better..I’ll refund your money http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/basstomuch/vwp?.dir=/Yahoo!+Photo+Album&.src=ph&.dnm=BIN+LADIN+HEAD+ON+A+STICK.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/bc/basstomuch/lst%3f%26.dir=/Yahoo!%2bPhoto%2bAlbum%26.src=ph%26.view=t

    • #111346
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster How do you know if the stage is level? The bass player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth

    • #89034
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common. Both suck when you plug them in.

    • #89063
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common. Both suck when you plug them in.

    • #89077
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A double bass player arrived a few minutes late for the first rehersal of the local choral society’s annual performance of Handel messiah.He picked up his insturment and bow,and turned his attention to the conductor,The conductor asked,"Would you like a moment to tune?" The bass player replyed "Why?isn’t it the same as last year?"

    • #89036
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89035
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89037
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze? A : You can tell it’s coming, but you can’t do anything about it. ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins. ——————————————————————————– Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job? A : Would you like fries with that. ——————————————————————————– Q : How can you make a bass player slow down? A : Put a sheet of music infront of him. Q : How do you get him to stop? A : Put notes on it!! Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– : A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on. "Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings. "So what is the problem?", replies the singer. "He won’t tell me which one it was". ——————————————————————————– : A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea. "**** it", says the bass player, "let’s play in four!" Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. A : Don’t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice. A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first. ——————————————————————————– A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?" "Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!" Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!

    • #111350
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze? A : You can tell it’s coming, but you can’t do anything about it. ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins. ——————————————————————————– Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job? A : Would you like fries with that. ——————————————————————————– Q : How can you make a bass player slow down? A : Put a sheet of music infront of him. Q : How do you get him to stop? A : Put notes on it!! Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– : A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on. "Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings. "So what is the problem?", replies the singer. "He won’t tell me which one it was". ——————————————————————————– : A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea. "**** it", says the bass player, "let’s play in four!" Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. A : Don’t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice. A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first. ——————————————————————————– A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?" "Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!" Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!

    • #89048
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze? A : You can tell it’s coming, but you can’t do anything about it. ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins. ——————————————————————————– Q : What did the pro trombone player say when he got his job? A : Would you like fries with that. ——————————————————————————– Q : How can you make a bass player slow down? A : Put a sheet of music infront of him. Q : How do you get him to stop? A : Put notes on it!! Blame Martin Ringham for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– : A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on. "Well", said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings. "So what is the problem?", replies the singer. "He won’t tell me which one it was". ——————————————————————————– : A function band are nearing the end of their long contract on a cruise ship when one evening there is an emergency and it becomes apparent that everyone is shortly to perish in the open sea. "**** it", says the bass player, "let’s play in four!" Blame Louis Thorne for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? A : None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. A : Don’t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice. A : One, but the guitarist has to show him first. ——————————————————————————– A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?" "Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!" Blame Alex Palomino for sending me these jokes! ——————————————————————————– a bass guitar is in the back of a rowing boat. it falls out and disappears into the water. soon some fish are playing it!

    • #111325
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #111326
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Where’s the best place to find a bass player to complete your band? just about anywhere, anyone can play a bass!!!

    • #89046
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How do you know if a bass player can play the guitar? Whether or not he uses a pick

    • #111349
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What’s the difference between a shy and an outgoing bass guitar? One is fretless.

    • #89067
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks." The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don’t even have insurance!" The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!" The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don’t think you understand… Chunks is my dog.

    • #111317
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How do you get a band with 2 basists to sound good? Shoot one!

    • #111318
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89073
      Anonymous
      Guest

      1.What did the Bass player get on his IQ test? Drool.

    • #89040
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #89043
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: What’s the difference between a bass and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline. Q: Why don’t bass players ever catch a cold? A: Even a virus has some pride. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand. Q: What’s the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door? A: "Pizza!"

    • #111314
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I know this prolly wont even get read but… Q: why did god invent bassists?? A: coz drummers had no talent.. Q: why did god invent gutiarists?? A: coz bassists didnt either!!

    • #111331
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q.What do you call a guy that hangs around with a band A. A bass player

    • #88887
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I live in L.A. My bass player the other day asked me what time it was in San Francisco. Not much of a punchline, but I thought it was pretty damn funny.

    • #88916
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A tour manager comes across a guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the stage before a big show. He pulls them apart and asks what the problem is. "That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass", says the bass player. "And we’re on stage in five minutes." "So what’s the problem?", asks the tour manager. "He won’t tell me which string he detuned", said the Bassist.

    • #88871
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Man dies and joins the que to heaven. There are two people in front of him. He listens as St Peter talks to the first of them. "Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks. "I lived a good life and earned $120.000 a year." the man replied. "enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate. "Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks the woman. "I..ahhh," she stumbles, then, following the trend set by the first man, continues " I lived a good life and my income was $60,000 a year." "enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate. Our man is a little perplexed at what he’s heard, but before he can think of anything St Peter asks "Why should you be admitted to heaven?" "Dunno" he replies, "I sorta lived a kinda good life but….well, I only earned two or three thousand dollars a year" he concluded, looking nervously at his feet. "Oh" said St.Pete, "and what type of bass did you prefer to play?"

    • #88855
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Man dies and joins the que to heaven. There are two people in front of him. He listens as St Peter talks to the first of them. "Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks. "I lived a good life and earned $120.000 a year." the man replied. "enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate. "Why should you be admitted to heaven?" he asks the woman. "I..ahhh," she stumbles, then, following the trend set by the first man, continues " I lived a good life and my income was $60,000 a year." "enter and welcome" St P says, opening the gate. Our man is a little perplexed at what he’s heard, but before he can think of anything St Peter asks "Why should you be admitted to heaven?" "Dunno" he replies, "I sorta lived a kinda good life but….well, I only earned two or three thousand dollars a year" he concluded, looking nervously at his feet. "Oh" said St.Pete, "and what type of base did you prefer to play?"

    • #88877
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A drummer goes on vacation to a remote island. Its tranquill and nice and there are native drums beating off in the distance. Being a drummer, he can appreciate the native rhytyms and enjoys them to a point, but finds that they continue to go on for days. He asks a native why they continue to beat the drums and the only reply he gets is "Drums must not stop — very bad if they stop". After three days of continuous drumming and asking the native why, and getting the same response "drums must not stop, very bad" He finally gets fed up and demands an answer "Look, what can be so bad if those drums stop, its driving me nuts with those drums going all day and night" The native replies "Drums must not stop — very bad" "Look what is so bad?" the drummer asks. "What happens if they stop?’ The native replies "Bass solo begins"

    • #88908
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Ya know how many bass players it takes to skrew in a light bulb? none the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.

    • #111323
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A guitar player and a bass player were out on the ocean in a rowboat fishing. The guitar player saw a lamp float by his side of the boat so he thought what the hell. So he picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, sorry but Im only an apprentice genie so I can grant you only one wish. The guitar player thought for a moment and then made his wish- I want this whole ocean turned into beer. Poof, it was done. The bass player was watching all this go on and finally said to the guitar player, That was dumb-now we’ll have to piss in the boat . ! !

    • #88891
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q; What do you get when you cross a bass player with a guitar player ?? (multiple choice) A: a music teacher ? B: Malcolm Young ? C: Someone who thinks he knows it all ? D: A bassist who plays like a guitarist ?? The correct answer is "D"

    • #88920
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: How Does a bass player get away with parking in a handicapped spot?? A: He leaves his used strings on the dash board !! Q: why do bass players seem to always speed up their tempo during a song ? A: because they’re always in a hurry, that’s why they play bass !! Q: What does a bass player do to his asshole before he goes to work? A: He gives him some money for a new set of guitar strings !! Q: why don’t bass players get any respect? A: Because they can’t play guitar!! Q: Why do bass players make better lovers ? A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !!

      • #97261
        Anonymous
        Guest

        : Q: Why do bass players make better lovers ? : : A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !! "And we like to go down low!!"

    • #88878
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q: How Does a bass player get away with parking in a handicapped spot?? A: He leaves his used strings on the dash board !! Q: why do bass players seem to always speed up their tempo during a song ? A: because they’re always in a hurry, that’s why they play bass !! Q: What does a bass player do to his asshole before he goes to work? A: He gives him some money for a new set of guitar strings !! Q: why don’t bass players get any respect? A: Because they can’t play guitar!! Q: Why do bass players make better lovers ? A: Because they have a longer neck and a bigger head !!

    • #88904
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in his car? A: It took him an hour to get the drummer out!

    • #88859
      Anonymous
      Guest

      :i don’t know any bass jokes, and i probably can’t make you guys laugh, but please make them stop! make the jokes stop! you can give me the bass and i’ll jam with it and take real good care of it. later rickindickinchickin Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88906
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : what would you be if you weren’t a musician………….a bass player

    • #88883
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?" "Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"

    • #88873
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88896
      Anonymous
      Guest

      NAME OF OFFENDER (Bass Player)_______________________ INFRACTION DATE___________________________ MUSICAL OFFENSES [ ] Playing loudly during warm up $10 [ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25 [ ] Loud cursing after mistake $10 [ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20 [ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20 [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25 [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50 [ ] Playing written-out walking line $50 [ ] Failure to play written walking line $75 [ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50 [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50 [ ] Playing eighth notes $5 each [ ] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each [ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal [ ] Dragging fast tempo $75 [ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100 [ ] Blacking out during ballad $200 [ ] Ignoring drummer’s tempo $100 [ ] Following drummer’s tempo $250 [ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000 UPRIGHT PLAYERS [ ] Showing up before first downbeat $25 [ ] Playing audibly $25 [ ] Faking changes $25 [ ] Slapping $150 [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25 [ ] Excessive sweating $25 [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50 [ ] Asking leader for a solo $30 [ ] Accepting solo when offerred $50 [ ] Taking second chorus $100 [ ] Playing solo arco $400 [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100 [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200 [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500 ELECTRIC PLAYERS [ ] Checking hair between tunes $15 [ ] Experimenting with odd meters $25 [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25 [ ] Playing with a pick $50 [ ] Tuning during ballad $30 [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75 [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150 [ ] Attempting last word on final chord $50 [ ] Achieving last word on final chord $100 [ ] Long gliss down to final note $200 EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS – ELECTRIC [ ] Forgetting strap $10 [ ] Changing strings after every set $15 [ ] Using electric tuner $15 [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75 [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40 [ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50 [ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25 [ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4 [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass [ ] Skull decals on bass $150 [ ] Bringing fretless bass $500 CRIMINAL BAD TASTE [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10 [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10 [ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10 [ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25 [ ] Practicing scales during break $25 [ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50 [ ] Practicing $150 [ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player…" $50 [ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $100 BASIC STUPIDITY [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10 [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20 [ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20 [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25 [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 [ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50 [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4’s $100

    • #88888
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Who’s the guy that just hangs out with Van Halen… There bass player.

    • #88890
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A bass player walks into a clinic and tells the doctor he wants a vasectomy, so the doctor tells him "Put a fire cracker in a can, light it and count to ten". He laughs and tells him he’s serious, and says "so am I, that’s how you do it". Furious, he goes for a second opinion. The second doctor tells him "Just put a fire cracker in a can, light it and count to ten". Thinking it’s a joke between the two doctors, he goes to yet another clinic and gets the same reply. By now he decides that three doctors can’t be wrong, so he gets a fire cracker, puts in in an empty can, lights it and starts counting with his fingers "one two three four five" (puts the can between his legs) "six seven eight nine te… BANG !!!!!!@$!#%" Bass players vasectomy 🙂

    • #88882
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in and the other to complain that the bulb doesn’t have enough eq added to it. Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88889
      Anonymous
      Guest

      When Ayrton Senna (Formula 1 driver) died he came to St. Peter and said:"I’m Senna and when I was alive a drived 300 and more km/h" St. Peter allowed him to enter but there is just one rule on heven nobody can drive in there above 60 km/h…. Senna said: "OK, if everybody drives like that I can to." Next day he drivin 55-60 km/h when dragster pass by him at speed 300-350 km/h so he even couldn’t see the who’s driving or cars plates Next day he came to St. Peter and asked him: "How this driver can drive so fast and I must drive max 60 km/h" St. Peter just said: "That is Son of the Boss."

    • #88902
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88857
      Anonymous
      Guest

      First. I ain’t so good in English so forgive me any mistake I made. Once upon a time a man came to a medical store holding a cat. An assistant: "Good afternoon. What will you have?" The man: "Hi. Do you sell syringes?" (i mean a hypodermic by a syringe, if it isn’t used in the USA) The assistant: "Yes, of course." The man: "I’ll take one. And do you sell gasoline?" The assistant: "Just a medical one." The man: "That will do. Give me a package." Then the man took the syringe and sucked a large dose of gasoline into it. The assistant: "Hey. What the hell are you going to do with that?" The man: "Shut up, man!" Then he took the cat and gave it a full dose of gasoline. It had been running and jumping ’round the store for a short time then it fell dead to the floor. The assistant: "The hell! Don’t you see? You killed it!" The man: "Oh! It must have run out of fuel!" Well, that’s all. I guess English people won’t understand this as a joke. I’m from The Czech Republic ( central Europe, slavic country ).

    • #88875
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A bass player and a guitar player had been adrift in a life boat for days, when a lamp floated up against the boat. the bass player picked it out of the water and thinking they had nothing to lose gave it a rub. Out came a genie and proclaimed I am the genie from the lamp and will grant you one wish. The bass player shouted out, I wish the whole ocean was beer. Poof the genie was gone and the ocean was indeed made out of beer. The bass player turned to the guitar player and says this is great. Which the guitar player says " you idiot now we’re going to have to piss in the boat. : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88881
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb. Just one but the guitar player has to show him how to do it. : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88880
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bassist does it take to screw in a light bulb? To know the answer, you need know two things: 1/ How big is the bulb. 2/ How do you get them in the bulb. : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88892
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: How do you tell if the stage is level? A: If the bassist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth!

    • #88900
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Two Bass player’s were convicted of some treasonable offense and sentenced to death.According to the usual custom they were each offered one last wish. The first man, who was a country and western artist, said that he would like just one more time to hear "ACHY-BREAKY HEART." The second man, who was a jazz musician, when asked for his last request simply asked that he be put to death BEFORE they granted the first man’s request.

    • #88886
      Anonymous
      Guest

      There are three kinds of bass players; Ones who can count, and ones who can’t count.

    • #88861
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What’s the second-least used sentence in the English language? "I respect the bass player for his mind."

    • #88853
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What’s the least used sentence in the English language? "Is that the bass player’s Porsche?"

    • #88898
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Johnny comes home from school and says to his mom,"Mommy, I learned the alphabet today! The rest of the class messed up around F, but I made it all the way through!" Johnny’s mom say’s "Very good son, that’s because you’re a bass player." Johnny comes home the next day and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, I counted to a hundred today! Everyone else couldn’t get past 60, but I made it all the way to 100!" And his mom say’s, "Excellent. That’s because you’re a bass player." The next day, Johnny comes home and say’s, "Mommy, the teacher measured everyone’s height in class today, and I was taller than everyone. Is that because I’m a bass player?" His mom shakes her head and say’s, "No, honey, that’s because you’re twenty-six."

    • #88912
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What is the first thing a bass guitarist does when he wakes up in the morning? He rolls over and intruduces himself.

    • #88849
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What would a bass player do if he won a million dollars? Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

    • #88884
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Two guys are standing on the curb when a taxi pulls up. One is holding a pair of drumsticks, and the other is carrying a bass guitar.Who is the professional musician? A: The taxi driver

    • #88843
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : There was a drummer,a lead player, and a bass player all ordered a drink at the bar.When they were served,a fly landed in each of there drinks.The drummer pushed his drink back and demanded another,the lead player picked the fly out and threw it down,shrugged his shoulder’s and took a big drink,the bass player picked up the fly holding it between his finger’s shook it above his glass and hollered "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT."

    • #88869
      Anonymous
      Guest

      There was an English jungle explorer who one day decided to travel to the Amazon jungle to explore the wildlife there. While there, he stumbled upon a tribe and made friends with them. They invited him to spend the night with them, and so he did. But that night, he couldn’t sleep at all as the tribe chief was constantly playing with his african drums while chanting some sort of ancient chant. The next morning, he asked the chief if he could stop the drums playing as he wanted to get some sleep that night. "No, for a terrible mishap shall happen and someone will be sacrificed," the chief said. So the englisman just let it be. That night, the same thing happened, the chief playing his drums while doing the chanting. Now the englishman was really sleepy yet he couldn’t get any nights rest. The next morning, again he requested the chief to stop playing with the drums at night. "No, for a terrible mishap shall and someone shall be sacrficed." Now the englishman was starting to get real edgy, having not slept for 48 hours. That night the same thing happened, and the englishman couldn’t take it anymore. He desperately needed sleep and would do anything to get it. He started writing a will, wrote love notes to his family back in Dublin and prepared himself to be sacrificed, just so the drumbeat would stop. That very night he approached the chief. "Chief, please, i am prepared to be sacrificed, so as long you stop playing the drums tonight." said the Englishman "No, for a terrible mishap shall happen and someone shall be sacrificed," replied the chief "What is the mishap chief?" "After the drums, come a bass solo."

    • #88879
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How do you know when your bass player is playing out of tune ? His fingers are moving.

    • #88863
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88845
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? Homeless.

    • #88893
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many Bass Players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: Just One, He holds the light bulb and the rest of the world rotates around

    • #88894
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Here are a few more jokes for you all These two bass players, one who played country and western , the other played jazz, are driving to L.A. for their respective gigs. All of a sudden they realized there was someone in the back seat of the car. Looking in the rearview mirror they realized it was death, the grim-reeper himself. A bit taken aback one of the bass players asked him why he was there. The grim reaper said," you fellows are going to die very soon and I decided to give you one last request." So then he asked the country and western player what he wanted. The fellow thought a moment and then said," I would love to hear a twenty minute rendition of "Acky Breacky Heart". "Granted" said the grim-reeper, Turning to the jazz player he said,"What can I grant you as a last wish?" The jazz player answered without hesitation, "Kill me now!" This bass player was in New York for a gig and was walking down the steet when he saw this sign in a window. "Institute of increased brain power". Thinking that this is exactely what he needed, he walked in. There he was presented to a doctor for a preliminary interview. The doctor began explaining the process. " We extract brain from very intelligent people in different fields. We then process this and inject it into our clients and we have found that they become as intelligent as the donor." The bass player was extatic, he said to the doctor ,"I need this now, how much does it cost?" The doctor explained that there was different price levels depending on the donor. So the bass player asked for the least expensive(of course) The doctor said it was brain extract from a scientist at 500$ US an ounce. The bass player was crushed at this news but decided to play the game and make beleive he could afford it. "Anything more expensive?" he said. " Why yes, we have physicien brain at 600$ an ounce and university professors at 800$ an ounce. The bass player was just about to quit but he then asked, " What’s the most expensive brain you have? The doctor responded," Why Bass player brains ,of course 1200$ an ounce!" The bass player was so surprised and proud he was just able to blurt out, "Bass player brain is THAT expensive? Why??" The doctor answered, "Do you know how many bass players it takes to get an ounce of brain?" Q: What’s the difference between a Cort bass and Mansfield bass? A: The Cort burns warmer and longer. Q: What is the difference between a bass player and a mutual fund? A: The mutal fund eventually matures and earns money. Q: What would a bass player do if he won a million dollars? A: Continue playing gigs until the money ran out. Q: How are bass players like linoleum? A: Lay them good once and you can walk on them forever. Q: Whats the fist thing a bass player does in the morning? A: Puts on his clothes and goes home. Q: How do you tell if the bass player is dead? A: The Johnny Walker bottle is full and the comics are untouched. Q: Whats the definition of an optimist? A: A bass player with a mortgage. Q: How many jazz bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Jazz bass players can’t afford light bulbs. A: "Don’t worry about the changes. We’ll fake it!" There was a certain bartender who was quite famous for being able to accurately guess people’s IQs. One night a man walked in and talked to him briefly and the bartender said, "Wow! You must have an IQ of about 140! You should meet this guy over here." So they talked for a while about nuclear physics and existential philosophy and had a great time. A second man walked in and soon the bartender has guessed about a 90 IQ for him. So he sat him down in front of the big-screen TV and he watched football with the other guys and had a hell of a time. Then a third man stumbled in and talked to the bartender for a while. The bartender said to himself, "Jeez! I think this guy’s IQ must be about 29!" He took him over to a man sitting at a little table back in the corner and said, "You might enjoy talking with this guy for a while." After the bartender left, the man at the table said, "So what kind of bass do you play?" Q: What’s the difference between a bass player and Dr Scholl’s footpads? A: Dr Scholl’s footpads buck up the feet. Q: What’s the difference between a pig and a bass player A: There are some things a pig just isn’t willing to do. Q: Why did they invent amplifiers A: So bass players would have someplace to put their beers.

    • #88866
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi again I have some more jokes on my original entry. So check them out. Here are a few more : Q: How do you get a bass player off your doorstep? A: Pay for the pizza. Q: What’s the difference between a bass and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline. Q: Why don’t bass players ever catch a cold? A: Even a virus has some pride. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand. Q: What’s the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door? A: "Pizza!" Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1…5…1, 1…4…5…5…1. Q: What’s the difference between Courtney Love, Wayne Gretzky and a female bass player? A: Gretzky showers after three periods. Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed? Bass, Upright Q: How do you make a double bass sound in-tune? A: Chop it up and make it into a xylophone. Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed? A double bass player arrived a few minutes late for the first rehearsal of the local choral society’s annual performance of Handel’s Messiah. He picked up his instrument and bow, and turned his attention to the conductor. The conductor asked, "Would you like a moment to tune?" The bass player replied with some surprise, "Why? Isn’t it the same as last year?" Two bass players were engaged for a run of Carmen. After a couple of weeks, they agreed each to take an afternoon off in turn to go and watch the matinee performance from the front of house. Joe duly took his break; back in the pit that evening, Moe asked how it was. "Great," says Joe. "You know that bit where the music goes `BOOM Boom Boom Boom’–well there are some guys up top singing a terrific song about a Toreador at the same time." Q. How do you get a bass player’s eyes to sparkle? A. Shine a light in his ears.

    • #88914
      Anonymous
      Guest

      why is bass like masterbation youre supposed to play in the pocket

    • #88867
      Anonymous
      Guest

      why is a bass guitar better than a woman cause when you want to slap and pop your bass its ok

    • #88841
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. why do bass players havebigger butts than guitarists cause they have bigger g strings

    • #88851
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What’s black and tan and looks good on a bass player? Anser: A Rott weillier How do you stop a base player from drowning? Anser: Take your foot off his head. What do you call an entalagent base player? Anser: a guitar player. What’s the differnce between a Sheep and a bass player? Anser: I’ts more socialy acceptable to be seen kissing a sheep than a base player. What does it take to confuse a base player? Anser: put him in a round room and tell him to go and sit in the corner. A man walks into a bar and askes for a drink and the bar tender says "have you got and ID?". The man says "But I’m the bass player from the band". The bar tender says "sorry I didn’t realise" and proceeds to explain really slowly, like you need to when talking to base players "h-a-v-e y-o-u g-o-t a-n-y I-D"

    • #88885
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88847
      Anonymous
      Guest

      there is this bassist, he/she walks into a shop and says "can i have marshall amp and a fender guitar?." So the man says "you’re a bassist, right?" So the guy/gal says "yeh how did you know?" The man then replies "well this is a Butchers!"

    • #88910
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88918
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88742
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? Only one- but every other bass player in the world is saying: "I can change it better…."

    • #88707
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hey IM C-way and I really wanna win this guitar for a friend whose crazy about bass.. She looks up to this bass player @ church.. Anyway heres a joke.. A bass player threw a bass over a cliff and a blonde chick over the cliff … Which one reached the bottom first?…………………………….. The bass coz The blonde asked for directions!

    • #88717
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Here’s my joke.: A missionary is on an isolated island with a primative tribe. He hears constant drums all day and night He wonders what’s going on. One day a native comes out of the jungle to the beach where he’s at. What’s going on? He’s asked. The native only says "Drums Good!". This goes on for weeks and whenever he spots the native, he gets the same response. The one day suddenly the drums stop. Several natives come running out of the jungle in terror, jumping into the water, shouting Aeeiii!!!! Finally his native friend comes with the same response as the others. Then he asks what’s going on??! Why are you so scared? He gets the response: BASS SOLO!!!!

    • #88719
      Anonymous
      Guest

      what do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? answer: homeless!

    • #88734
      Anonymous
      Guest

      there was a bass player who liked playing bass and fondling his nut sack at the same time… his nuts exploded…end

    • #88698
      Anonymous
      Guest

      If You drop a Rock bass player and a Punk bass player from the top of a Building, which falls first? Who cares, they’re both bass players?

    • #88728
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, since they can’t manage doing it!

    • #88699
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why did the bass player buy a bass in the fist place? He thought he was buying a guitar.

    • #88703
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why did the bass player buy a bass in the fist place? He thought he was buying a guitar.

    • #88737
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What did the bassist say to the guitar player? Whoa six strings, your blowing my mind!

    • #88722
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why did the bass player cross the road ? To see himself from the other side.

    • #88733
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How does a bass player change a lightbulb? He asks the guitar player to do it

    • #88732
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a bass player with a girlfriend? A guitar player

    • #88720
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A roadie comes screaming to the stage in the midlle of a set: "Mike! Mike! Your wife is cheating on you rigth now! Then the bass player drops the instrument, runs, jumps into a bike and goes really fast; then a few seconds later he crashes into a building and says: " hey my name is’nt Mike, I’m not married and I don’t know how to ride a bike

    • #88712
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How Many bass players does it take to paint a white wall red? A: It depends on how hard you smash them.

    • #88746
      Anonymous
      Guest

      how do you make a bassist shutup? hit the stupid prick

    • #88700
      Anonymous
      Guest

      LAST NIGHT MY BASS PLAYER GOT HUNGRY AT THE END OF OUR FIRST SET. SO HE ASKED THE BARTENDER IF HE COULD EAT A FEW PEANUTS FROM A BOWL IN THE CENTER OF THE BAR.THE BARTENDERS SAID SURE.JUST BEFORE THE SECOND SET MY BASS PLAYER REALIZED THAT HE HAD EATEN THE ENTIRE BOWL OF PEANUTS.HE SAID,"HEY BARTENDER,I’M SO SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO EAT ALL OF YOUR PEANUTS." THE BARTENDER SAID,"ITS OKAY. WHEN EVERBODY FINISHES SUCKING THE CHOCOLATE OFF OF THIS BUCKET OF M&M’s I WILL HAVE TO DUMP THAT BOWL AGAIN.

    • #88744
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88725
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: What’s the difference between a bass and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline. Q: Why don’t bass players ever catch a cold? A: Even a virus has some pride. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand. Q: What’s the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door? A: "Pizza Delivery!" Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1…5…1, 1…4…5…5…1. Q: What’s the difference between Courtney Love, Wayne Gretzky and a female bass player? A: Gretzky showers after three periods.

    • #88730
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, Heres one but I know I will not win But I hope it worth something because I’ve been trying to get a new guiter for 2 years but my family does not have the money well here goes nothing :What did the guiter player do when the chicken crossed the road. :Rocked the road with his bass guiter I know it sucks hey want yea wanna say : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88710
      Anonymous
      Guest

      This is a multiple choice test: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? 1.None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. 2.Don’t bother. Just leave it out–no one will notice. 3.One, but the guitarist has to show him first. 4.Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light

    • #88715
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A Guitarist and a Bassist are arguing backstage and the Drummer walks up to them and asks why they are fighting to which the Bassist replies "Well the Guitarist detuned one of my Bass guitar’s strings and he won’t tell me which one."

    • #88723
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Late one day in a local pub I saw six guys walk in, obviously in pairs of two, sit down and order their favorite after-work drinks. The first two to seat themselves and be served by the bartender worked at a big university and they had massive IQ. They began talkierything from quantum mechanics to the particle Pphysics, with everything in between, each as brilliant as the other. The bartender then went over to the next pair who were "regular guys" with ordinary jobs, with average IQs, going on about how hard it was today to keep up with bill payments, how high taxes were, how corrupt politicians were and all the day-to-day struggles we all know about. The last two the bartender served were two very badly educated, ill-mannered dolts with very low IQs which could barely be measured. As soon as they’d ordered the bartender overheard one say to the other, "Oh, hey, I meant to ask ya, d’you use flatwound or roundwound on your bass?"

    • #88731
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster It’s a bass player during a jam session that stands up and shouts: " Hey guys, I’ve got a good guitarist joke for ya!!! So all of a sudden, there’s 3 big guitarists ( the 250 pounds of muscle type!)that stands up and say:"you better be careful Bud ’cause we’re guitarists, you know!". "Ah! it’s alright" says the bass player,"I’ll tell you twice!!!".

    • #88708
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed? Did you hear about the bass player that was so out of tune? What did the bass player do when his teacher asked him to turn his amp on? Rubbed it all over and whispered sweet sayings to it. Did you hear about the bass player that just joined up with the Backstreet Boys? Yeah, neither did they, but he’s there nonetheless!

    • #88709
      Anonymous
      Guest

      there is a boy who wants to learn playing bass so his father sends him to music school. He comes home after the firat lesson and the father asked what he had learned. The son said that he had learned to play the e-string. Next week the father asked again. The son said he had learned to play the a-string. After the third lesson the father asked him again and the boy says that he dont go to music school anymore because he is now playing in a band…

    • #88743
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88726
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88713
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None! The keyboard player can do it with his/her left hand! Cheers Beeka

    • #88741
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Joey Di Maio of Manowar

    • #88711
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many Bass Players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to do it and four to sit around and talk about how Geddy Lee would have done it.

    • #88718
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a guy with no talent who hangs around with musicians? A Bass Player

    • #88739
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How do you know when a bass player’s knocking at your door? Because no matter how many times you tell him, he never knows when to come in.

    • #88704
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How do you know when a bass player’s knocking at your door? Because no matter how many times you tell him, he never knows when to come in.

    • #88738
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What happened when the bass player locked his keys in the car? A. It took two hours to get the drummer out. : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88729
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. How many bass players does it take to replace a light bulb. A. None. They’re the ones who stole the light in the first place. : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88697
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster this isn’t a joke but funny none the less. i saw a bumper sticker that read "you are following a bass player; just like the rest of the band". how funny is that? someone should get over their complex.

    • #88740
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: What was the bass player’s test on? A: PAPER!! MWAHAAHAHAHA

    • #88721
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: What does it mean when a bass player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? A: The stage is level. Peace_ TM

    • #88727
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I lady walks into a store and tell the man behind the counter she would like some musican brains. "Alright" he says, "What kind?". "How much do they cost?" she asks. "Well, those there are trumpeters at $5 a pound, those are french horns at $7 a pound, and those are conductors’ at $10 a pound." He replies. "What are those way back there?" she asks. "Those are bassists brains. They cost $100 a pound." He replies. "GOODNESS!!", she exclaims, "Why are they so expensive?" "Lady, do you realize how many bassists it takes to get a pound of brains?!?!".

    • #88716
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when the drumming stops." At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and is starting to get on his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he’s just been reminded of something very unpleasant. "Very bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off. After a couple of days with little sleep, our traveller is finally fed up, grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming stops?!!" "Bass solo."

    • #88736
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A bassist, tired from being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some real musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordian. The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator’s got to stay".

    • #88735
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a bassist that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

    • #88706
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a bassist that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

    • #88701
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a musician with an IQ of 120? A Guitarist What do you call a musician with an IQ of 80? A Bassist What do you call a musician with an IQ of 6? Del Puckett !

    • #88705
      Anonymous
      Guest

      The easter bunny, Santa Claus, a guitar player and a humble Bass player were placed in room, each one in a separate corner. A brand new crisp $100 dollar bill was placed directly in the center of the room. If they all started out at the same time, which one got the $100 dollar bill ?? A. the guitar player. why? because there is no such thing as an Easter Bunny, no such thing as a Santa Claus and there’s definitely no such thing as a "humble Bass player".

    • #88745
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A mini bus with four bass players in it, falls off the edge of a cliff, whats the tragedy? The mini bus can hold eight!

    • #88702
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster While carrying in equipment through the back door of a bar in a small town in Missouri our bass player noticed an old dog laying at the back door licking himself. That’s when our bass player said, "Man I wish I could do that" Our drummer replied," I think you should pet him first."—–True story

    • #88724
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What did the bassplayer say when he drooled on his bass? "Dhuuugh…… sphluuu….. da da da ghaaaaa…phlugugugu….blaflaagguuu"

    • #88714
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster When carring equipment in the back door of bar in a small town in Missouri our bass player noticed an old dog laying by the back door licking himself. Our bass player said, "Man I wish I could do that" Thats when our drummer replied, "I think you should pet him first" ——True story !

    • #88563
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A blonde went to a an audition to become a rock star! At the audition she was asked the following questions. Can you play a musical instrument? Blonde: No Can you sing? Blonde: No Can you keep rythem? Blonde: No What talent do you have? Blonde: I can jump up and down while bouncing my tits Perfect, you’ll be the bass player!

    • #88518
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to clean a toilet? None, it’s a woman’s job.

    • #88554
      Anonymous
      Guest

      After many frustrations with bassplayers, here’s one I came up with. How do you confuse a bassplayer? Play a Major 7 chord Don’t get me wrong I do want the bass! =)

    • #88566
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why don’t woman play the bass? Because you couldn’t even get a blonde to do it!

    • #88540
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A guitar and bass died and wnet to the pearly gates of heaven. God said to the guitar "What do you have to say for yourself." The guitar said "I’m sorry for I have sinned. I have drank beer, snorted coke, got woman to show their tits, and squandered millions of dollars." Then, God asked the bass what do you have to say for yourself?" The bass replied " I never get in treble!"

    • #88557
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How long does it take to learn the bass? Two hours and that includes teaching them to count up to four!!!

    • #88564
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you have when you have a bass player buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand!!!

    • #88515
      Anonymous
      Guest

      There was good band playing a gig in a crowded bar. The crowd was in awe of the band who were really in "the groove". The crowd stood respectfully in quiet admiration as the band swung into the gentle strains of the opening to "Freebird", when the bass hit a distinctly out of time, sour note. An obvious drunk stood up and yelled "Bass player is a piece of shit!", then promptly sat back down in obscurity. The band continued and about halfway through the first verse, the bass player botched it again. A drunk stood up and yelled, "Bass player is a piece of shit!" and sat back down. The band stopped suddenly and the lead singer walked out into the crowd, grabbed an anebriated young man by the collar and jerked him to his feet. "Did you call the bass player a piece of shit?". The drunk, somewhat shame-faced, said nothing and stared at his shoes. "I’ll ask you again, did you call the bass player a piece of shit?". To which the drunk replied, "What you really should be asking is who called that piece of shit a bass player".

    • #88572
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: What do you call a guy onstage with a bunch of musicians? A: A bass player.

    • #88565
      Anonymous
      Guest

      This is a stupid joke i know it but well, here goes – once upon a time, there was a boy named timmy. One day he decided to join a band after watching his favourite band play. He did not know which instrument he would like to play so he asked his mother if he could ring a guy about an advertisement in his local paper. He rang the guy (his name was Fred) and when he hung up, timmy told his mother he was going to practice. The boy was a bit puzzled about Fred’s request but he went to his room and ate ten cans of beans. The next morning Timmy caught the bus to Fred’s house and rang the bell. Fred opened the door and timmy promptly turned around, stuck his butt in the air and did a huge fart. Fred yelled and told timmy to get off his property, and then tim realised he had not heard Fred correctly on the phone. he walked home and stopped at a church. Tim stayed at the church for mass then returned to Fred’s place to tell him what he had done. Fred sighed and repeated to tim what his role in the band would be. Timmy walked home, dropped his pants and in front of the mirror and wiggled his bum around. When he had his routine perfected, he went to sleep, finally certain he had got it right. Timmy woke up and ran to Fred’s house to give him the good news that he could become a member of the band. Timmy rang the bell, Fred answered, timmy pulled down his jeans, turned around and shook his butt around for all he was worth, in a perfect choreographed routine. Fred just opened his mouth then yelled at timmy to pull his pants up. Then Fred wrote clearly on a piece of paper: ‘I said you were to play BASS in our band. Not Gas, not Mass and most certainly not ASS.’ Timmy was highly embarrassed and went to the doctor’s to get his hearing checked. They found that timmy only had gum stuck in his ear, but when timmy reported back to Fred, Fred said ‘why on earth weren’t you puzzled that i supposedly wanted u to do those things?!’ Timmy didn’t know and went for an IQ test. When the results came back, Fred was certain he had found the perfect bass player, and as a bonus, he could be a back up drummer.

    • #88575
      Anonymous
      Guest

      un chef d’orchestre (de balluche ) voit dans le back stage le bassiste du groupe en train de giffler un gammin de 5 ans il s’ecrit " arrete ,mais qu’est ce qu’il t’as fait ce gammin ?" le bassiste _" il m’a desacordĂ© une corde de ma basse ! " le chef d’orchestre_"ben c’est pas très grave !" le bassiste _"non ,mais il veut pas me dire la qu’elle"

    • #88579
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? None,the keyboard player can do it with his left hand. : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88574
      Anonymous
      Guest

      heh guys ! I just would say that you and the others mans really really SUX with your poor jokes. They don’t makes laugh, so STOP and go playing your fuckin leads I’m guitarist too, and I say that guitar-hero and guitarist who think they’re the most important member of a band are GAY. You’re TOTALLY wrong. FUCK the GUITAR-HERO. Stay alone and shut up ! P.S. : metallica’s really GAY

    • #88561
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Three myths in the world. 1- Jesus in the seven-eleven 2- Santa claus at the north pole 3- Bass player on time to practice.

    • #88511
      Anonymous
      Guest

      How many bass players can you fit in a volkswagon. Seven if you use a chainsaw.

    • #88569
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Our apartments have really thin walls. I’m sure that the college aged neighbor girl is tutoring a bass player. Late at night, we’ve often heard her yelling "E! E! E-E-E!".

    • #88576
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Here are a few jokes for you all Q: What’s the first thing a bass player says when he gets to work? A: What will have with your fries? Q: What’s the best way to get a bass player to play softer? A: Tell him he has to play notes on the first and second strings. A bass player shows up for a gig in a very fancy hotel. The band leader meets him and shows him to his seat on the stage. The bass player takes out his bass and plugs in and looks at the leader, ready for the downbeat. The leader says to him " Would you like a few minutes to tune?" The bass player answers "No thanks, I tuned last week" Q: What do you get when two bass players are in tune? A: Minor seconds Q: What’s the difference between a dead raccoon in the middle of the raod a a dead bass player in the middle of the road. A: The raccoon was on his way to a gig. A bass player was getting tired of all these bass player jokes, so he decided to read up on some of the tech stuff he had heard from the keyboard player and the sound tech. He spent many days reading about MIDI and waves, and digital delay and algorithms. So finally one day he felt ready to afront these guys but just to make sure he was on the right track, he decided to test his new knowledge in a music store. So he went down town and walked in the store and started asking the clerk to give him a digital midi sound enhanced reverb when suddenly the clerk stopped him and said, " You must be a bass player, right?" The bass player was amazed and said, "That’s right. How did you know.? The clerk answered, " This a hardware store"

    • #88582
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why was the bass player late for band practice? Ans: Because you forgot to pick him up!

    • #88524
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: Now why spaces between frets on bass guitar are bigger and strings are thicker? A: Because bassists are often drunk. 🙂

    • #88534
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88560
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A gal was getting married and her uncle was dickering with a musician relative to provide the music. The uncle was trying to hire nine mucicians for the price of six musicians. The discussion became very heated and the relatives parted with the musician relative saying "Don’t worry, you’ll get nine musicians". On the day of the wedding, the nine musicians arrived to play. Nine bass players. This is a true story and many years old. : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster

    • #88551
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : There was this boy he had a best friend his best friend had some other friemd they were pick on thier best friends friend. Every time they came around they said jerrett can suck my left nut!!!

    • #111345
      Anonymous
      Guest

      What do you call a bassist who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless

    • #111332
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A guitar player comes to the doctor and complains about a serious deterioration of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering correct changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor can’t find the cause, he asks the guitarist to leave behind his brain for a week in his lab for more detailed examinations. After seven days the guitar player fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there’s no sign of him. Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs him and asks: "Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to stop by and pick it up, so why don’t you show up?" The guitarist says, "Well, I think you can keep it; I finally switched to bass…" mel

    • #88537
      Anonymous
      Guest

      @ bass players were waliking past a bar…. Hey it could happen!

    • #88570
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q. What has a bass player and a condom got in common? A. It feels better without but deep down you know you really should use one. ———– A guitarist walks into a band practice to see his bass player beating the hell out of his drummer, the guitarist quickly intervenes to break up the fight. Bass Player: It’s not my fault he started it (pointing at drummer) Guitarist: What did he do? Bass Player: He de-tuned one of my strings Guitarist: Don’t worry we can re-tune it Bass Player: No we can’t, he won’t tell me which one Mike Bass Player Age of Ruin <A>HREF="http://www.ageofruin.com">www.ageofruin.com</A&gt;

    • #88552
      Anonymous
      Guest

      : Hey yall, : We’ve got a great contest going at the moment. : GuitarSite.com is celebrating the Brisbane International Guitar Festival (BigFest 2000) by : giving away an Ibanez bass GSR100 bass guitar, worth $499! : AND ENTERING IS EASY! : Tell us your favourite bass player joke. Tell us all your bass player jokes if you want. Yes, it’s as simple as that! : We’ll be judging the winner during celebrations at BigFest 2000. If your joke gets the best : crowd response, you win the Ibanez! : This contest is open to people from all around the world and there are no age restrictions. : So what are you waiting for? Tell a bass player joke! But please remember to supply a valid : email address in your entry so that we can contact you if you win. : Cheers : The GuitarMaster My favorite Bass player joke, is about my favorite bass player Geddy Lee. My friend went to get Rush tickets once, and he bought one for each of us. So I asked him, How good are the tickets? He said, they are so good you could see up Geddy lee’s nose. Then I said, that could be anywhere in the building. LOL

    • #88578
      Anonymous
      Guest

      A bass player has gotten beat up, and someone did the worst thing possible…un-tuned his strings!! The bass player hired a person to tune it back for him. Why did he do this? Because he was too lazy to ask the guy who beat him up which strings he de-tuned!!

    • #88527
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Q: How many bass players does it take to fix a lawnmower? A: Anywhere from 30-75. One to change the bulb and the rest to fight off the swarm of lead guitarists who want credit for the job!

Viewing 216 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.